Thursday, April 24, 2008
Australia’s Next Top Model 4 Round-Up: Arse-tronauts & New Scientists
3:26PM Clem Bastow | GAME ON MOLES! After roughly 365 days of breathless anticipation, another Cycle of Australia’s Next Top Model has rolled around, and it couldn’t come soon enough – and, we are happy to report, Cycle Four looks set to be as good as ever.
Each week we will bring you our personal highlights from each episode, quotable quotes, commentary, criticism and plenty of Johdi-isms. All this will happen after the jump out of courtesy for those who set the tape but for some RIDICULOUS reason have not watched yet.
So, moles, head over the jump for our round up of Episode One, Cycle Four… More » 
The Father Of Reality Tv Rails Against The Monster His Child Has Become; Has Not Read ‘Frankenstein’ Recently
10:36AM Clem Bastow | Interesting little bit of “industry” drama happening in the UK at the moment: Paul Watson, who is an award-winning documentary filmmaker and producer who, it’s generally accepted, invented the reality television format with his documentaries The Family – and one we’ll all remember – Sylvania Waters, won a special BAFTA on the weekend for Outstanding Contribution to Television.
In his acceptance speech, he took a moment to open up a pretty amazing spray on the topic of reality TV (particularly gutsy considering he has made reality television, more or less, even if his efforts were a little higher up the viewing food-chain than Laddette To Lady or Wife Swap), calling it “sneering” and branding Simon Cowell a “bully”.
Here are some highlights from his op-ed piece in the Mail explaining his harsh words:
With fly-on-the-wall series like The Family (about the working class Wilkins who lived in Reading) and Sylvania Waters (about a raucous family who lived in a suburb of Sydney), I tried to show life as it was lived, warts and all.
My accounts were socio-political, unlike today’s shows, which are just circuses.
With my shows, I can even make some claim to have invented the idea of “reality TV”, but I no longer recognise what goes under that name.
Where I hoped then to inform, today, trashy, modern reality TV seeks merely to titillate, shock and gain notoriety by brutalising and denigrating its subjects. That is the extent of its intellectual vigour.
More » 
A Compelling Portrait Of The Average Herald Sun Reader
10:10AM Clem Bastow | We know it’s neither big nor clever to laugh at the afflicted, but this morning we couldn’t help but find our eyes wandering to the “You Said It” feature on the Herald Sun’s online Confidential page.
And, well, let’s just let the reader speak for themselves, shall we?
Melbourne’s Herald Sun, ladies and gentlemen: proof that you may well be the Newspaper Of The Year, but that barely literate monkeys at typewriters appear to make up the bulk of your readership. Andrew Bolt will be doubly shocked!
Michelle at 12.43am today, we salute you. WE LOVE SLL DA SONS U MAD!! More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: The Chronic 2008
9:55AM Clem Bastow | While we’d never advocate drug use here at Defamer Australia, we’re somewhat pleased that Winegums seems to have downgraded from crack and heroin to plain old doob.
The emerging theme of Winegums Watch circa April 2008 appears to be blazin’ up, if you will – perhaps it’s time for Amy to dump Mark Ronson and begin a barnstorming collaboration with Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg, Willie Nelson and Cyprus Hill?
Following a six-hour pub crawl, the 24-year-old drug addict had to break into her own home early yesterday after losing her keys.
Her state is now such that she is being accused of shaming her husband – who is in prison awaiting trial on charges of assault and conspiring to pervert the course of justice.
…
Amy’s bender came after the star had been holed up at producer Mark Ronson’s house concentrating on finishing the much-anticipated theme tune to the next Bond film, Quantum of Solace.
Earlier this week the troubled singer was seen smoking what appeared to be a joint as she arrived back at her Camden home after an evening of partying.
Elsewhere in their coverage, the Mail insist on dropping the hopelessly daggy phrase “a marijuana joint” numerous times, which – while it may be correct grammar, or part of their style guide, or whatever – is about as hep as the time the Rolling Stones were reviewed by a London newspaper in the ’60s as being “on the beat with Not Fade Away, which is in the modern idiom”.
Up yours, granddad! More » 
Has Jennifer Aniston Been Spending Some Time With Dr. 90210?
9:45AM Molly Friedman | One of the all-time most popular extracurricular activities for aging actors and actresses in Hollywood is to head out to the doctor’s office on a sunny day and have a little work done. And who are we to judge? But in recent years, Tara Reid-esque fake boobs and Janet Jackson-esque tummy tucks have fell out of fashion. It’s now trendier to go in for more subtle nips and tucks and, according to sources, Jennifer Aniston may be a high-profile example. A recent OK! piece praised the newly youthful looking star, though much of their gushing is laced with surgical “experts” who seem certain Jen’s new face has gone under the knife a few more times since her whole “deviated septum” issue: More »Enrique Iglesias’s Mole Still Clearly In Love With Him
9:28AM Seth | We realise yesterday’s clip sucked, so to make it up to you, here’s an interview conducted by Enrique Iglesias’s mole with its former host-body that verges on the sublime. [holamun2.com] Looking for a job? Gavin Polone needs an assistant! It’s sure to be a challenging yet incredibly rewarding position for someone aspiring to a career in the industry…BWAAAHAHAHAHA! [entertainmentcareers.net] Smashing Pumpkin’s Billy Corgan and Jimmy Chamberlin were inducted to the Rockwalk outside the Guitar Centre today, where “a hundred or so fans turned up, outnumbered by the media and assorted band hangers-on.” Sheesh, even Reuters is hatin’ on the ‘kins. [Reuters] Universal is suing Lionsgate for stinking up Midnight Run’s legacy by putting one of its characters in a Larry the Cable Guy movie. [THR Esq.] Noted parrot fetishist Megan Fox tops FHM’s poll of the 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2008, while various Jessicas round out the top five. [hmonline.com] More »
Embattled Wesley Snipes Likened To Unifying Tree By Loyal Friends Denzel And Woody
9:03AM Seth | The Smoking Gun has uncovered yet another gem in Wesley Snipes’s “Oops! I failed to pay $38 million to the IRS—but isn’t that what the 861 Argument loophole is really there for? It isn’t? Well, then, you’re all racist!” Trial of the Century, reprinting two character reference letters recently penned by Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson. (You may recall that Snipes was acquitted of federal tax-fraud and conspiracy charges, but was convicted of a lesser count of failing to file tax returns, punishable by a potential jail term of up to 3 years.) More »
Is Nicole Pregnant Enough? Who The Bloody Hell Cares!
9:01AM Clem Bastow | Right, we’re going to take this moment to declare a ban on any further press speculation about Nicole Kidman’s pregnant tummy (note: NOT her “baby bump”, which is a repugnant term than infantilises one of a woman’s most womanly times).
It’s no secret that pregnant celebrities get a hard time, though it used to be – in the case of, for example, Kate Hudson or Milla Jovovich – that they were “too fat!” or “can’t stop eating for two!”
Quite frankly we feel the flipside of that, this unnerving obsession with Nicole Kidman’s pregnant tum – or apparent lack of, if you listen to the frothing tabloids – is even more off. It seems she’s not pregnant enough! She must be lying! There’s no baby in there, maybe Keith’s having it! Ho, ho. ho! Sadly, we’re not making it up, either – all of those sentiments have been aired by newspapers and magazines over the past few months.
And now:
Of course they’d say they were referring to the “Little Kidman” that was “growing” inside her, but honestly, if the past month is anything to go by, it’s just another thinly-veiled slight at Nicole’s apparent inability to be “properly” pregnant.
Or perhaps you’d prefer this charming effort, from the Daily Mail?
Enough! She’s doing fine, the baby’s doing fine, her marriage is fine, can we all find something else to talk about now? More » 
Britney Spears Credits A Steady Diet Of Marlboro Reds For Helping Her Drop Twenty Pounds
9:00AM Molly Friedman | We’re beginning to think that Larry Rudolph may truly be the master of spinning scandals into gold. Ever since reuniting with her former stardom wizard, Britney Spears has gone from umbrella-swinging, gurney-riding American Tragedy to a slimmed down working girl with vastly improved extensions to boot. Rudolph’s latest strategy has been sending Spears to the gym to shed any leftover pounds from her previous diet of lollipops and Cheetos, in addition to making damn well sure she treks to the recording studio. But the news isn’t all sunshine and rainbows: it seems tension between Spears and unicorn-rider Neil Patrick Harris, coupled with a return to some bad habits, are threatening the comeback we’ve been patiently waiting for. More »
