GAME ON MOLES! After roughly 365 days of breathless anticipation, another Cycle of Australia's Next Top Model has rolled around, and it couldn't come soon enough - and, we are happy to report, Cycle Four looks set to be as good as ever.

Each week we will bring you our personal highlights from each episode, quotable quotes, commentary, criticism and plenty of Johdi-isms. All this will happen after the jump out of courtesy for those who set the tape but for some RIDICULOUS reason have not watched yet.

So, moles, head over the jump for our round up of Episode One, Cycle Four...

Read More »

Interesting little bit of "industry" drama happening in the UK at the moment: Paul Watson, who is an award-winning documentary filmmaker and producer who, it's generally accepted, invented the reality television format with his documentaries The Family - and one we'll all remember - Sylvania Waters, won a special BAFTA on the weekend for Outstanding Contribution to Television.

In his acceptance speech, he took a moment to open up a pretty amazing spray on the topic of reality TV (particularly gutsy considering he has made reality television, more or less, even if his efforts were a little higher up the viewing food-chain than Laddette To Lady or Wife Swap), calling it "sneering" and branding Simon Cowell a "bully".

Here are some highlights from his op-ed piece in the Mail explaining his harsh words:

With fly-on-the-wall series like The Family (about the working class Wilkins who lived in Reading) and Sylvania Waters (about a raucous family who lived in a suburb of Sydney), I tried to show life as it was lived, warts and all.

My accounts were socio-political, unlike today's shows, which are just circuses.

With my shows, I can even make some claim to have invented the idea of "reality TV", but I no longer recognise what goes under that name.

Where I hoped then to inform, today, trashy, modern reality TV seeks merely to titillate, shock and gain notoriety by brutalising and denigrating its subjects. That is the extent of its intellectual vigour.

Read More »

We know it's neither big nor clever to laugh at the afflicted, but this morning we couldn't help but find our eyes wandering to the "You Said It" feature on the Herald Sun's online Confidential page.

And, well, let's just let the reader speak for themselves, shall we?

Melbourne's Herald Sun, ladies and gentlemen: proof that you may well be the Newspaper Of The Year, but that barely literate monkeys at typewriters appear to make up the bulk of your readership. Andrew Bolt will be doubly shocked!

Michelle at 12.43am today, we salute you. WE LOVE SLL DA SONS U MAD!!

While we'd never advocate drug use here at Defamer Australia, we're somewhat pleased that Winegums seems to have downgraded from crack and heroin to plain old doob.

The emerging theme of Winegums Watch circa April 2008 appears to be blazin' up, if you will - perhaps it's time for Amy to dump Mark Ronson and begin a barnstorming collaboration with Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg, Willie Nelson and Cyprus Hill?

Following a six-hour pub crawl, the 24-year-old drug addict had to break into her own home early yesterday after losing her keys.

Her state is now such that she is being accused of shaming her husband - who is in prison awaiting trial on charges of assault and conspiring to pervert the course of justice.

...

Amy's bender came after the star had been holed up at producer Mark Ronson's house concentrating on finishing the much-anticipated theme tune to the next Bond film, Quantum of Solace.

Earlier this week the troubled singer was seen smoking what appeared to be a joint as she arrived back at her Camden home after an evening of partying.

Elsewhere in their coverage, the Mail insist on dropping the hopelessly daggy phrase "a marijuana joint" numerous times, which - while it may be correct grammar, or part of their style guide, or whatever - is about as hep as the time the Rolling Stones were reviewed by a London newspaper in the '60s as being "on the beat with Not Fade Away, which is in the modern idiom".

Up yours, granddad!

One of the all-time most popular extracurricular activities for aging actors and actresses in Hollywood is to head out to the doctor's office on a sunny day and have a little work done. And who are we to judge? But in recent years, Tara Reid-esque fake boobs and Janet Jackson-esque tummy tucks have fell out of fashion. It's now trendier to go in for more subtle nips and tucks and, according to sources, Jennifer Aniston may be a high-profile example. A recent OK! piece praised the newly youthful looking star, though much of their gushing is laced with surgical "experts" who seem certain Jen's new face has gone under the knife a few more times since her whole "deviated septum" issue:

Read More »

· We realise yesterday's clip sucked, so to make it up to you, here's an interview conducted by Enrique Iglesias's mole with its former host-body that verges on the sublime. [holamun2.com]
· Looking for a job? Gavin Polone needs an assistant! It's sure to be a challenging yet incredibly rewarding position for someone aspiring to a career in the industry...BWAAAHAHAHAHA! [entertainmentcareers.net]
· Smashing Pumpkin's Billy Corgan and Jimmy Chamberlin were inducted to the Rockwalk outside the Guitar Centre today, where "a hundred or so fans turned up, outnumbered by the media and assorted band hangers-on." Sheesh, even Reuters is hatin' on the 'kins. [Reuters]
· Universal is suing Lionsgate for stinking up Midnight Run's legacy by putting one of its characters in a Larry the Cable Guy movie. [THR Esq.]
· Noted parrot fetishist Megan Fox tops FHM's poll of the 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2008, while various Jessicas round out the top five. [hmonline.com]

Read More »

The Smoking Gun has uncovered yet another gem in Wesley Snipes's "Oops! I failed to pay $38 million to the IRS—but isn't that what the 861 Argument loophole is really there for? It isn't? Well, then, you're all racist!" Trial of the Century, reprinting two character reference letters recently penned by Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson. (You may recall that Snipes was acquitted of federal tax-fraud and conspiracy charges, but was convicted of a lesser count of failing to file tax returns, punishable by a potential jail term of up to 3 years.)

Read More »

Right, we're going to take this moment to declare a ban on any further press speculation about Nicole Kidman's pregnant tummy (note: NOT her "baby bump", which is a repugnant term than infantilises one of a woman's most womanly times).

It's no secret that pregnant celebrities get a hard time, though it used to be - in the case of, for example, Kate Hudson or Milla Jovovich - that they were "too fat!" or "can't stop eating for two!"

Quite frankly we feel the flipside of that, this unnerving obsession with Nicole Kidman's pregnant tum - or apparent lack of, if you listen to the frothing tabloids - is even more off. It seems she's not pregnant enough! She must be lying! There's no baby in there, maybe Keith's having it! Ho, ho. ho! Sadly, we're not making it up, either - all of those sentiments have been aired by newspapers and magazines over the past few months.

And now:

Of course they'd say they were referring to the "Little Kidman" that was "growing" inside her, but honestly, if the past month is anything to go by, it's just another thinly-veiled slight at Nicole's apparent inability to be "properly" pregnant.

Or perhaps you'd prefer this charming effort, from the Daily Mail?

Enough! She's doing fine, the baby's doing fine, her marriage is fine, can we all find something else to talk about now?

We're beginning to think that Larry Rudolph may truly be the master of spinning scandals into gold. Ever since reuniting with her former stardom wizard, Britney Spears has gone from umbrella-swinging, gurney-riding American Tragedy to a slimmed down working girl with vastly improved extensions to boot. Rudolph's latest strategy has been sending Spears to the gym to shed any leftover pounds from her previous diet of lollipops and Cheetos, in addition to making damn well sure she treks to the recording studio. But the news isn't all sunshine and rainbows: it seems tension between Spears and unicorn-rider Neil Patrick Harris, coupled with a return to some bad habits, are threatening the comeback we've been patiently waiting for.

Read More »

We've always tended to label the polished, well-spoken Gwyneth Paltrow as one of those overly perfect women you want to hate but, irritatingly, can't muster up any good reasons to. But thanks to her recent habit of promoting Iron Man across the globe while wearing some of the most fierce, outlandish, downright kinky pairs of shoes, we officially have no desire to hate the girl anymore. From Rome to London to New York, Paltrow's wildly varied kickers range from towering 7-inch beauties to strappy lace-up ankle booties. And we (well, I) want 'em all. A closer look at Gwyneth's racy choices after the jump.

Read More »

Perhaps needing a break from the fast-talking, potty-mouthed, morally askew Hollywood wheeler-dealer he plays on Entourage, Jeremy Piven is taking to the Broadway stage to play one of the fast-talking, potty-mouthed, morally askew Hollywood wheeler-dealers of David Mamet's Speed-the-Plow:

Jeremy Piven makes his [Broadway] debut this fall in a revival of David Mamet's biz satire "Speed-the-Plow." [...]

Read More »

· A bumper crop of comedies are set for release in the coming months, including Baby Mama, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, Sex and the City, What Happens in Vegas, and Made of Honour, some of which could actually be classified as comedies! [Variety]
· Mariah Carey's "E=MC2" sold 463,000 copies in its first week, earning her her sixth #1 album, and us a whole new crop of Stairmaster anthems! [Variety]
· As hopes for a pickup on Cashmere Mafia unravel, showbiz survivor Lucy Liu secures an attractive backup deal in which she'd join the cast of Dirty Sexy Money. [THR]

Read More »

Die-hard Will Ferrell fans who endured Semi-Pro will recall a set-piece in which Will's farm-league basketball team owner Jackie Moon wrestles a bear as a ploy to fill seats. That bear, a 700-lb grizzly named Rocky, fatally attacked a trainer at an exotic animal training facility in Big Bear yesterday. From the LAT:

For unknown reasons, the bear lunged at 39-year-old Stephan Miller, a trainer at Randy Miller's Predators in Action, about 3 p.m. and bit him in the neck, said sheriff's spokeswoman Cindy Beavers. [...]

She added that officials from Cal OSHA and the state Department of Fish and Game were investigating, and it was not immediately known what would happen to the bear. [...]

Read More »

The Cannes Film Festival announced this morning it will get four hours of Che Guevara after all — not to mention additional Oscar bait from Clint Eastwood, Angelina Jolie and Charlie Kaufman in this year's competition program. As recently as last Friday, the Steven Soderbergh/Benicio Del Toro all-or-nothing two-fer of Guerrilla and The Argentine was looking doubtful for the Cannes deadline, but the festival announced this morning that it is indeed in. Out of competition, meanwhile, world premieres Indiana Jones 4 and Kung-Fu Panda will do battle for the honorary Jerry Seinfeld Award For Shameless Publicity Hijacking.

Read More »

Read More »

After posting our positively gorgeous presentation of the most horrific sex scenes to ever grace the big screen, we're delighted to learn of two new additions to the list. At a recent screening for Then She Found Me, starring Matthew Broderick, Colin Firth, and Helen Hunt (where has she been hiding by the way?), ex-couple Helen and Matthew gleefully dished to the NY Daily News on just what to expect during two reportedly not-so-steamy sex romps featured in the film. As the reporter informs us:

"Congratulations, Helen Hunt and Matthew Broderick! You guys have officially filmed two of the most awkward sex scenes in cinema history."

So who got it on with who, and what could possibly prompt such a mean-spirited diss from the tab?

Read More »

"I got dumped once while naked..." So begins the umpteenth and (we think) final televised retelling of Jason Segel's exceedingly well-practised cock-flaunting anecdote from the set of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Seeing as he took pains to mix it up a little last night on The Tonight Show, we're almost sorry to see him step off the publicity roundabout just when his improvisatory spirit was just taking flight: "This is the first time [in my career] I might start getting recognised," he told Jay Leno. "Every person who's come up to me is staring directly at my crotch!" See? Now that's a story! [NBC]

The American Idol Karaokedome threatened to topple in on itself last night when the six remaining competitors tackled the songs of Andrew Lloyd Webber—the musical equivalent of glucose-fortified pancake syrup, next to which the typical Idol pablum starts looking and sounding like a GWAR concert.

Read More »

Michael Cieply's latest dispatch from the Tom Cruise beat inventories the wreckage from the mid-air collision that is Valkyrie and United Artists, including exclusive interviews with hobbled pilots Paula Wagner and Bryan Singer. For Singer's part, he's fine to let the film speak for itself if and/or when it's ever completed and released. But for Wagner, Cruise's UA partner and designated press scold, skeptics like us just! Don't! Get it!

Read More »

Disney Channel star Orlando Brown has been missing since Tuesday morning, People.com reports: "The 20-year-old reportedly left his manager's house around 10:20 a.m. to make a quick trip to 7-Eleven and has not been seen since...According to Brown's publicist, Elayne Rivers, he had a full day of meetings and appointments in preparation for a photo shoot Wednesday." Based on what we know about missing persons cases from Without A Trace, the first 24 hours are the most crucial. But we've now exceeded those. So where the hell is he? Has anyone seen Orlando Brown? You have? No, not him! Not him, either! Oh, never mind—you're no help at all. Orlando, come home!

Read More »

If the long national nightmare that is Al Pacino's career decline wasn't set to continue later this year with his cop-schlocky Robert De Niro/Jon Avnet reteaming Righteous Kill, then maybe we would have simply Lysol-ed away the scourge of 88 Minutes after its opening weekend and left it at that. But seeing as even Pacino's own producer has seen fit to pile on in Patrick Goldstein's latest column, we think a prolonged period of mourning is in order after the jump.

Read More »

Since put-upon, soon-to-retire film critic David Ansen officially has nothing to lose by prattling on at length over at Newsweek, expect a lot more pieces like the one in the magazine's current issue. To wit: Hollywood movies have lousy endings! And: Here, let me give them all away!

Read More »

After three-and-a-half years of wardrobe-sharing bliss, standing side-by-side through the good times (the Branded Wedding of the Century, brought to you by 1-800-Flowers, Smirnoff Ice, and the Portugal Tourism Board) and the bad (her Barbara Walters-issued View death warrant), ETOnline is now reporting that Star Jones has filed for divorce from husband Al Reynolds. From their Star! On! Her! Own! Exclusive!:

Read More »