Just when you thought you'd heard the last of Heather Mills, she's baaaack, and bringing with her possibly the most gruesome alleged twosome we've ever had the displeasure of imagining: new reports suggests that the late Kerry Packer was Mills' "sugar daddy"!

A new documentary outs Kerry Packer as a "sugar daddy" of Heather Mills when the ex-wife of Beatle Paul McCartney was working as a high-class call girl, according to London's Daily Mail.

Denise Hewitt, who says she worked as a £10,000 escort with Ms Mills in the Eighties, makes the claims in a program to be aired on the UK's Channel 4.

Ms Hewitt, 44, is quoted as saying: "We went into high-class prostitution behind closed doors and nobody knew about it...[billionaire arms dealer Adnan] Kashoggi, Kerry Packer and one of the Royal princes of Saudi, they were the big fish and there were a couple of others that were classed as Heather's sugar daddies.

Lordy, we don't know what to think - after all, the British press has been at pains to paint Mills as a psychotic, money-grubbing sex maniac for some time now, so it could well be malarkey. But as far as the mental image of Kerry and Heather rutting it out on a bed of money, let us be the first to say:

And that will be the last we say on the matter!

Well! We predict that the jingoistic tabloids will go into an absolute frenzy of righteousness within the next day or so following the revelation that Daniel Radcliffe was 'avin' a larf about his mysterious Australian girl.

What's more, Harry Potter didn't even have the guts to come out and say it himself, choosing to speak via his rep.

There will be at least two very angry Mums at dinner tables tonight, we daresay!

"(Radcliffe's comments) were meant in jest, but sadly been blown out of all proportion," his London-based representative Vanessa Davies told New York's Daily News newspaper.

Translation: "Those silly little newspapers down there in the colonies, throw them some crumbs and they go into a feeding frenzy."

We're inclined to agree with this imagined colonial cringe; really, what did the papers think this was, a second take of that Heartwarming™ story about the dude who saw an Australian girl on the subway in New York and declared his love online?

Ooh, someone from overseas - not to mention rich - thinks Australian girls are nice! We've finally been validated!

You have probably heard by now of the anonymous blog, 4 Inch Heels Only, which has the ACP building in a spin (ACP, for those of you who don't spend ridiculous amounts of money on fashion and "women's" magazines, publishes Cosmo, Cleo, Dolly and Madison, amongst many others) thanks to its unsavoury insider know-how as to how things work at the publishing empire.

Most of the fuss is because "the call is coming from inside the house", to use horror flick parlance - it's assumed that whoever is writing the blog is an ACP staffer.

However, as of this morning, 4 Inch Heels has been hacked to within an inch of its life. You'll notice we've not linked to the blog itself, that's because the hack is so ridiculously NSFW our computers would probably explode if we linked to it, and you'd be fired before you even clicked through. Yes, said l337 hax0r has covered 4 Inch Heels with images of bot-sex porn and naked boosies and noo noos (hey, we're just trying to escape your filters).

In fact, the only bit we can show you is this:

Making this kerfuffle even sweeter is the fact that all media outlets (including the news.com.au piece we linked to above) who are linking to the blog are now sending their readers into a cesspit of split-beaver shots.

The question, thus, needs to be asked - did someone at ACP slip a tenner and a crate of 2 Minute Noodles to a willing hacker to do the deed? There is no other reason (other than spectacular coincidence) why anyone would bother hacking an industry blog to this extent.

And if it was organised by someone within ACP, doesn't that suggest that everything 4 Inch Heels Only said was true? We expect the plot to thicken throughout the day.

Remember Eden Gaha? The host of Vidiot? The occasional musical theatre performer and sometime Home & Away pin-up from the '90s?

He's been in the States for some time now, and has had considerable success as a producer of reality television, working with Mark Burnett and others, and is currently producing a second series of Celebrity Apprentice.

All standard industry, back-slapping the successful expat stuff, but we did find his comments regarding local versions of US reality franchises quite telling (in light of So You Think You Can Dance Australia ending up a pale imitation of the OG version):

Locally made reality television shows have been met with mixed success in Australia, with audiences tending to favour reality programs produced in the US.

While Gaha agrees shows such as So You Think You Can Dance have been successfully adapted for Australian audiences, he says the American character tends to lend itself more easily to some reality formats.

"Some of the shows and some of the formats mean more in the United States so they mean more to American contestants and they play out better on TV, so that's possibly why those shows have done better with American casts."

We're inclined to agree. Naturally there are loads of dancers in Australia, and lots of working ones, too, but there's something about the American dream, not to mention opportunities like dance revues in Las Vegas and LA, that makes SYTYCD - the proper version - so compelling.

American Series Two winner Benji ended up in an Xtina video, ferchrissakes! With the Australian version it's all a bit, "So what? Even if I win I'll still have to wait tables/teach toddlers jazz ballet/be on the Dole."

Well! After everyone had washed their hands of the Daniel Radcliffe eye-contact-with-cute-girl mystery when Cassi McKay emerged as the likely candidate yesterday, another lass has come out of the woodwork.

And, in news that will surely calm the nerves of anxious Daniel (NOT), this one isn't single either!
However, she's friends with Cassi. Did someone say THREESOME? No? Oh, okay, as you were.

It seems Daniel Radcliffe didn't only have eyes for musician Cassi McKay at the AFI awards two years ago. Saxophonist Savannah Blount was with McKay when the two approached Radcliffe for a photo at the AFI's after-party.

The two played in David Campbell's band at the after-party and Radcliffe was impressed with both, according to girl number two.

"We approached him as a bit of a joke, he was being dragged everywhere," Blount told News Limited yesterday. "We spoke very briefly, he was sweet and quite charming. We had a chat for a couple of minutes and had a bit of a giggle."

Blount's comments come as it has been revealed that Radcliffe's management will show the young actor the photo to see if either is the mystery girl whose phone number he said he wished he had got two years ago.

Lord in heaven, this is turning into the Judgement of Paris or something!

In the meantime, however, we suggest that both McKay and Blount join the incredible Facebook group, "Bitch I don't want yo man but everybody kno's he's my #1 Fan".

When Lindsay Lohan falls off the wagon, she falls hard. So hard, in fact, that she spent this past weekend traipsing around New York in what appears to be a long and eventful whopper of a bender. As we reported yesterday, Lindsay spent her Saturday night downing Grey Goose with new roomie Samantha Ronson before promptly (and nostalgically) passing out in a car. But today's NY Post informs us that the night before was far more eventful. Tagging along with Ronson to the Beatrice Inn on Friday night for one of the chain-smoking DJ's gigs, whatever mysterious substances were floating through Lohan's system manifested into a screaming match directed towards teeny tiny Ashley Olsen:

"Ashley Olsen said hello to Sam at the Beatrice, and Lindsay screamed at her, 'Get your 15-year-old Full House arse away from my girlfriend.'"

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The last two weeks have been rough on the friendship of one-time power duo Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes. First, the meal-skipping, identical-haircut-sporting pair's friendship took a hit when Tom Cruise became concerned that Posh's influence was having a negative effect on Katie's health. Then, perhaps in retaliation, Victoria neglected to invite TomKat to her intimate pre-birthday dinner. Now, we hear that Katie has begun to distance herself from the Spice Girl-turned-professional partygoer, likely due to the assertions of the press that she's "morphed into Posh." So who's to blame? As Showbiz Spy reports, it seems that Katie Holmes is the culprit behind the fractured friendship:

"Holmes is annoyed Beckham is choosing to spend most of her time with new friends Eva Longoria and Kate Beckinsale."

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Our love of a good celebrity-falling-down picture is well-documented, but today we bring you something far more precious: A celebrity-being-peed-upon-by-a-dog photo. It's the fabled unicorn of the Embarrassing Celebrity Accidents on Film Realm. Pictured, a passing Toto speaks for the entire Star Wars male fan base with his frank assessment of Natalie Portman's new bearded, bejewelled, patchouli-infused boyfriend, Devendra Banhart.

[Photo: Photolink.net]

• Celebrity Photos [NY Post]

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· Apparently How I Met Your Mother's Canadian mall-star of the 1980s Robin Sparkles had a disappointing follow-up called "Sand Castles in the Sand." Nope, still not funny. [CBS]
· Larry King's CNN contract is extended until 2010, at which point they'll figure something out involving brains in bell jars or cloned noses. [Media Bistro]
· Richie Sambora avoids a child endangerment charge, but will face two misdemeanor counts of drunk driving. Asked to comment, Sambora explained, "I ain't gonna live forever. I just want to live while I'm alive.
(It's my life.) " [CNN.com]
· Some nice shots from last night's excellent Kanye West: Metroid Prime Tour. [WOW Report]

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Megan Fox—whose coin-slot-baring performance in Transformers was egregiously overlooked by nearly all the major Hollywood awards (she did take Best Actress at the Golden Spankbaits)—is featured in this month's Paw Print Magazine. It's a publication for those who feel a little fenced-in by the rigid constraints of Dog and Cat Fancy, as demonstrated by the wide array of exotic photoshoot costars on display.

Not only does she grace the cover with a stunning specimen of her babejective namesake, but inside, we're introduced to Fox's own, Paris Hilton-worthy menagerie. Pictured above is beloved parrot Bay, in sheer ecstasy as he's cupped and caressed by the attentive actress, clearly anticipating the next hot n' heavy tonsil-hockey session with his smoking keeper.

*Correction: We're told the parrot is in fact named Bowie, not Bay, and apologise for any confusion.

• Megan-Fox.net

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The contagious, gag-repeating virus that so infamously befell David Letterman a few weeks ago was apparently also contracted last Friday by Jason Segel, who regaled his host at the Ed Sullivan Theatre with yet another story about his ween-baring escapades on the set of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Yesterday on Ellen, meanwhile, Segel shared the same anecdote — literally the same one, almost verbatim down to the "Dockers" punchline. The look on Ellen's face is priceless: kind of the knowing, disbelieving grin of a woman praying her audience missed Segel's Letterman appearance and wondering how the imaginative writer of the weekend's top comedy can't find a more clever alternative for "third-string Chippendales model." But it did play well with the ladies, so hey. [video by Molly McAleer]

The last time we were allowed a brief glimpse into the mysterious lives of Tom Cruise's "other" kids, the news wasn't pretty. Harvey Levin and his TMZ minions were pointing out their awkward adolescence and homelessness, even going as far as to making a crack about their "frizzy" hair. But following in his defiant father's footsteps, 13-year old Connor Cruise is fighting back against all those media meanies by reportedly scoring a plum role in the upcoming Will Smith vehicle, Seven Pounds. And as happy as we are that Connor finally realised playing soccer while surrounded by paparazzi wasn't likely to turn into a full-time career, we're somewhat suspicious of Tom's claims that Connor scored the part of potential Scientologist/Cruise buddy Smith "all on his own"...

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Further refining his sophisticated public persona from "egregiously self-aware Hollywood hack" to "egregiously self-aware Hollywood hack with a Web site," Michael Bay teased his regular readers Monday with the suggestion that he's making up Transformers 2 news as he goes along. "Sorry everyone, everything you are reading (other then we are shooting in Philly) is false," he wrote in a message-board forum after an open audition call yielded rampant story and script speculation. "We are going to give so much disinformation on this film to confuse everyone."

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David Mamet is making fantastic time in his macho, myopic trot toward senility, first with his sloppy jeremiad against "brain-dead liberals" in a March issue of the Village Voice, and now in the new issue of Vanity Fair. In the magazine's traditional issue-ending Proust Questionnaire, the playwright / screenwriter / director brings his terse, complete sentences to bear on subjects from... well, Mamet can speak for himself:

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
My idea of perfect happiness is a healthy family, peace between nations, and all the critics die. ...

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After a brief fling with steamy Chinese art-core, director Ang Lee is heading back to the comfortable terrain of the Gays, the lauded director having already explored that topic's various themes in such previous Queer Cinema classics as Brokeback Mountain (doomed lovers on the Wyoming plain), The Wedding Banquet (a comedic take on Chinese family and tradition), and Hulk (roid-raging muscle queen never quite fits in). THR now reports that Lee will turn to the unlikely setting of the original Woodstock Music and Art Fair for his next emotionally frigid, magic rainbow carpet ride:

"Taking Woodstock" centres on the colorful life of a Greenwich Village-based interior designer and part-time Catskills hotel manager who headed the Bethel, N.Y., Chamber of Commerce.

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In just the four short weeks since we last checked in with dandiest Bachelor ever Matt Grant, the British export has managed to whittle down his harem of colonial concubines to three. Not surprisingly, Shayne Lamas, the needy-but-hot, questionably motivated heir to the Lamas Family acting dynasty, is still in the running, earning her a coveted family visit on last night's episode.

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