We were reading yesterday about Britain's Got Talent's latest sob-story contestant - a schoolboy from the council estates, Andrew Johnston, who is bullied for singing opera and choral at church - and thinking the whole thing smacked rather strongly of spin. Paul Potts Syndrome, if you will.

That was until we a) saw him sing, and b) read the follow-up story on today's news.com.au coverage, and started blubbling like babies at his mum's reaction to the fuss over her talented son. Call us softies (and you'd be right), but we don't think there's anything that isn't geniune about mum Morag's response:

"This has been an expensive day for us, traveling down to the audition, but it's so special for him - it's something he will never forget," she said.

"Now we'll go back on the train in luxury, and we'll get him an Indian meal. It's all he's been talking about.

"He does a paper round, but to say 'well done' I'll buy him the computer game he's been saving up for. And he can put the money toward buying a cage for his hamster Chubby instead.

"I'm so proud of him today. He has a brilliant voice. But no matter what he sounds like, he's still just a young boy at heart."

Seriously, this is worse than that Hallmark ad with the old lady crying across the road, or the ducklings in the Kleenex box.

If Johnston doesn't win this series of Talent, clearly the people of Britain have no hearts.

If you're wondering why you're not seeing as much of popular SNL featured players like Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader and Andy Samberg these days, there's one simple reason why: Kristen Wiig. Since she made her debut on the show back in late 2005, Wiig has quickly established herself as one of the most gifted and versatile performers to ever grace the stage at Studio 8H, not to mention one of the funniest. In this short time, she's quickly become Lorne Michaels' MVP of the show, often appearing in 4-5 sketches per episode. While it's debatable as to whether or not she'll ever reach breakout superstar status of SNL alums like Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy or Mike Myers, she is, for our money, the single most talented sketch comedian the show has seen since fellow Groundlings alum Will Ferrell retired. After the jump, we feature two sketches that she knocked out of the park this weekend. The first features a spot-on impression of Jamie Lee Curtis filming a commercial for Activia yogurt; the latter, a virtuoso turn as a haggard and worn down travel writer named Judy Grimes who, for the life of her, can't stop kidding around.

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Would you like to see Australia's own Sia performing Britney's "Gimme More"?

Better yet, would you like to stare at a photo of Sia while you listen to her singing a cover of "Gimme More"?

Fantastic, you're going to be stoked about today's clip then.

Sad news to report. The rumors that we heard earlier this afternoon about impending layoffs at The House That Freddy Built have come to fruition. Variety is reporting that Time Warner is pinkslipping 450 New Line staffers, a number that equates to nearly 90% of their current payroll, as the newly scaled-down shingle merges into the larger Warner Bros fold. The worst part? Although notifications of the dismissals began earlier this afternoon, they won't be completed until tomorrow, which means that a number of employees will be spending the evening unsure as to whether or not they'll even have a job at this time tomorrow. Synergy just ain't what it used to be. If you hear or see anything else (memos, etc.), please send 'em our way. [Variety]

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Earlier this month, NBC's resident rock star Ben Silverman announced his plans to deliver a warm and cuddly hour of programming in NBC's 8-9pm block. But last week's triumphant return of 30 Rock and The Office was notably filled with "vulgarities" one doesn't normally associate with family fun. As Silverman promised during the heart-warming press conference, he intended on making sure the first hour of primetime was "about family, and it's about heroes, real and super. It's good endings and the good guys winning." But as the NY Times points out today, the "good guys" are more likely to get bleeped than share PG lessons with viewers, and "winning" is more likely to be associated with causing erections on MILF Island.

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Perhaps Diddy's plan to create a celebrity chauffeur service wasn't such a bad one after all. After leaving a club last night mumbling and grumbling, beach yogi Jeremy Piven made an attempt to drive himself home in a techno-blaring first generation Ford Bronco (we think), but didn't make it very far. Seems the services of his dealer friend were needed to act as designated driver and deliver the Pivster to his abode unharmed. But what went down at the gas station where he abandoned his machismo-exuding ride? Tell us, nicotine-addicted witnesses, do tell us!

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A tip into Defamer HQ suggests that today may be the last for the majority of remaining employees at New Line Cinema, the Time Warner subsidiary that has spent the last month transitioning from a stand-alone operation to a genre cog in the Warner Bros. machine. The speculation trickled down a little bit ago from a few private industry message boards; it would be the culmination of news expected since co-founders Bob Shaye and Michael Lynne made their own departures public Feb. 28. Production head Toby Emmerich surprised most observers last month by staying on as president and COO, but he's in the minority likely to stay on as the labels consolidate. Let us know if you've heard the same — you know where to find us.

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In the ever-evolving canon of celebrity sex tapes, neither a pseudo-Lindsay Lohan nor a canny Kristin Davis nor anyone since Pamela and Tommy likely have anything on Marilyn Monroe, whom the Post reports today was featured on a newly unearthed stag reel performing oral sex. Or maybe it's Marilyn Monroe. We're not so sure ourselves.

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Despite all the photos we've seen from the Sex And The City movie set, and all the rumours circling around about plotlines and marriages and dream sequences, fans of the show are still in the dark regarding what lies in store for the four aging heroines. And expressing any interest whatsoever is somewhat embarrassing, since caring about the futures of Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte has become slightly de rigueur as each passing year post-finale makes SATC episodes look more and more ancient and silly. But for those of you who feel no shame in wondering what happens in the big-screen version of the girls' lives (at least in the privacy of your own cubicle or home), the NY Post has provided a few spoilers to satisfy your curiosity. More info after the jump; warning, it's spoiler heavy.

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Seeing as the L.A. Times wouldn't rush any story it couldn't retract in disgrace a few weeks later, John Horn took his sweet time pounding out today's analysis of all the dramatic agency-hopping exploits over the last week-and-a-half. There's a little bit of a long view, here, however, and it's decidedly ugly; for starters, could industry volatility force CAA reps to endure the horrors of — gulp — business class? Or worse?

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If the Learning Annex on Wilshire ever launches a course for cocktail waitresses looking to nab themselves a movie star, we would like to recommend Sarah Larson to teach the class. George Clooney's sand-diving arm candy is truly talented when it comes to catching the attention of impossible-to-land bachelors, and as she revealed in an interview with her hometown paper today, all it takes is a reenactment of those infamous soft-core porny photos she took. While most of us thought Larson caught Clooney's eye at his Ocean's 13 premiere, it turns out the couple may have met on the very same night Larson was snapped levitating and biting her girlfriend's butt. More words of wisdom and fairy tales come true from Sarah after the jump.

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Tom Cruise isn't having the best month. First, a bunch of hooligans slapped his laughy face on some ultra-strong pot and called it Tom Cruise Purple. Then, the feel-good movie of 2008, Valkyrie, got pushed back (making it the feel-good movie of 2009). And now, Victoria Beckham has usurped a bit of his domestic control and transformed Katie Holmes into a fellow stick figurine. And Tom's April blues have reached a breaking point:

"[Tom] is keen to put some distance between his actress wife and Victoria, who have morphed into each other...it concerns Tom that Katie has lost so much weight recently."

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Seeing as you've still got almost 36 hours to cobble together your taxes, feel free to blow off those forms and join us in crunching some numbers that really matter: This weekend's box office returns:

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Looks like last week's news that the Britney Spears Comeback Tour were showing signs of slowing down were more prophetic than we thought. On Saturday night, Spears was on her way to break bread with her semi-estranged mother Lynne when she rear-ended a Nissan that stopped in traffic in front of her on the 101. The cause of the accident? Britney was applying her makeup while driving:

"The guy she hit...says before the accident, he was admiring the white Mercedes and the woman putting on makeup while driving it. It wasn't until after she hit him at an estimated 10-15 MPH that he realised the woman was Britney."

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For an actress without any implants to show off, Sienna Miller is officially one of the least inhibited stars around. Our friends at Egotastic have caught the sweet talker revealing her naughty bits in the past, and earlier this year we learned about her habit of getting busy in restaurant wine cellars. And now, it seems the ocean's ability to remove her bikini top led Sienna to turn a day at the beach into an opportunity to pretend she was on a nude one for a while, chit chatting topless and waiting longer than one usually does to fix a loose suit.

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In the latest flimsy edition of Barbarella Will Be Remade (No Really We Mean It) Quarterly, perennial cover girl Rose McGowan grabbed another opportunity to swear on a stack of imaginary scripts that she is super-seriously-definitely reprising Jane Fonda's original role in the long-gestating Robert Rodriguez do-over. And it is a do-over according to McGowan, who gets her critical faculties (and probably a few tempers at Universal) in a lather just thinking about it:

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While most of the civilized world enjoyed an early-spring weekend about town, SAG president and press warlord Alan Rosenberg practiced his saber-rattling in anticipation of upcoming labour negotiations with the studios. Despite reaching out to AFTRA to rejoin them in talks starting tomorrow, such token detente couldn't mitigate Rosenberg's resistance pledged against everyone from mutinous actors like Kevin Bacon and Charlie Sheen to penny-pinching producers. And at least one high-powered, face-saving source is urging the union to stand down or face certain doom.

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