We had a chat to our work experience kid Dan Luscombe last night, who also happens to wrangle a guitar in The Drones, and asked him what the new record sounds like.

His answer? In a word...

So there you have it.

They have also written a beautiful song about the moon landing, apparently. Very good. If you're in Melbourne, you can catch The Drones playing The East Brunswick Club on May 14th before they jet off overseas for a couple of months to finish off the new album. Here's hoping their time in the States is fraught with difficulty - not because we wish hateful things upon them, but because we're hoping Dan pens another amazing journal during the trip a la his Oh Calamity! blog which kept folk up to date with their hilariously disastrous time in Europe last year.

We have a problem, we know. We're seeking help.

In the meantime, following on from our earlier story...

Heh. We were just having a glance at a web chat ("live blog"?) Veronicas-pashing lesbian MTV VJ Ruby Rose did on news.com.au and very much enjoyed the following question (and, more importantly, Ruby's answer).

Morning Ruby

Now tell me what makes a good kisser & secondly what would make you approach a man in a pub just by sight?

Little Mo of Randwick (Reply)

A. If he was a woman.

You go, girl!

Not long after she'd been allegedly banned from flying with British Airways, just what landed Naomi Campbell in this latest spot of bother has emerged - and what a charming lass she is!

The supermodel apparently opened up a can of verbal whup-ass on all and sundry, culminating in a delightful spray of racial abuse directed at the police officer who was trying to escort her. Two thumbs up, Naomi!

Now cops claim she called a WPC a "white ****" and a "white s**g" as she was dragged off the LA-bound jet in handcuffs.

The police source said Naomi continued, screaming: "f***ing white honkeys" at the officer and her colleagues.

Those anger management classes have clearly been a great success, then.

Campbell went berserk when she discovered one of her bags was missing at Terminal 5 last Thursday, allegedly spitting at officers who approached.

Senior Scotland Yard staff were furious when Naomi later claimed police only arrested her because of her colour.

She told a pal: "It just goes to show I have to fight for who I am. It's because I'm black."

We know it's a sensitive area, but Campbell's history of claiming discrimination due to being black is, well, a little shaky. Remember when she claimed UK Vogue had never had her on the cover, only they had - eight times?

Either way, someone must get her on the next Celebrity Big Brother or I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here - worth it for the quotes alone!

God almighty, we bloody love The Bass. Actress, pop star, slightly manic host, and now author? Believe it, bitches. The Bass wants young girls to start behaving in a lovelier manner towards one another, and in light of recent news stories, the publication of Sistahood: A Journal of Self Discovery couldn't have come at a better time.

Natalie Bassingthwaighte has added author to her growing list of accomplishments. The former Neighbours star has tonight launched her first book Sistahood : A Journal of Self-Discovery at a function at Sydney's Luna Park, attended by hundreds of young girls.

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In news that surprised not even your nanna who thought the end of The Crying Game was "a bit of a shock", Pete Doherty buggered up his probation conditions and is being locked up AGAIN, as we told you yesterday.

Naturally, the Pete Doherty street team is up in arms about this, and have been spraying their vitriol all over the NME's coverage of the case - to greatly amusing effect.

Some are surprisingly eloquent, some are aggravated, some are anti-Pete, but our favourite out of the lot has to be this one:

indierockchick4lyf
Apr 9, 2008

omgggthis is soooo sad!! he will miss the solo show in london that i was goin 2 :( i was realli lookin foward 2 dat..i hope he gets out n dnt do the hole 14weeks! he doesnt deserve it!! he is sooo talented, a tru poet n songwriter!! and most of all A LEGEND!!!!

That's right, "indierockchick4lyf", he is most certainly a "tru poet n songwriter".

In fact, we feel confident that that phrase will be introduced into academia from this day forth. "Let us all turn to Chapter Three now, as we discuss the work of Whitman, a tru poet n songwriter. 4 lyf."

After the fizzer that was 2007's effort, this latest season of Australian Idol is already having "isshews" - and it's not even on the air yet!

After much fanfare regarding the show's overseas auditions for expat Australians, the Los Angeles round has already been cancelled. The excuse they're using is Kyle Sandilands' busy schedule; is that what they're calling "no one turned up" these days...

The United States auditions were due to be held on Sunday with Sandilands presiding over the judging.

Just hours after Tina Arena and Darren Hayes were announced as guest judges to scope the talent at the show's London auditions, an Australian Idol spokesman said Sandilands' conflicting schedule had caused the endeavour to be scrapped.

Production being stretched for its London auditions was another big factor, the spokesman added.

"London has been massive for us and we've had an overwhelming response to London," he said.

"Kyle's timetable was a factor of us not being able to do all our commitments as well."

We shouldn't be too quick to judge Idol '08, however; the article goes on to reassure us all that audition numbers were up 30% this year... in Newcastle.

We're not going to start holding our breath just yet.

You know when you go to the Big Day Out (or equivalent), inevitably you'll find yourself a) accosted by tools wearing matching "hilarious" t-shirts, b) laugh at goths whose makeup is melting in the summer heat or c) lose count of the number of "totally hot" chicks wearing bathers as outerwear? And have you ever thought "Gee, wouldn't it be great to catalogue these poor souls in some sort of anthropological bible"?

Those thoughtful people over at News.com.au have - somewhat unwittingly - compiled a shortlist of 50 of the biggest festival tools of the '07/'08 season, starting with these ladies:

And featuring the witty caption:

Radiant ... these ladies describe themselves as The Wiggles on Speed."

If that's enough to whet your appetite then while away a lazy ten minutes or so of your lunch break by weeping for the future of our once fine nation.

Fifty compelling arguments for selective breeding can be found here.

Reader Rach sent us today's clip, with a note saying "I know, I know, kitten videos are a dime a dozen, but for the love of little fishes, Jess, this is shock and awe cuteness. This video totes made me ovulate. Spread the word."

Your wish is our command, Rach.

This latest McNaughty fuss is making our heads spin, and not because of the cheap wine and three-day growth - now she reckons she wasn't consulted about the Cockatoo Ridge "She likes a cockatoo" (GEDDIT) campaign that is currently ruffling feathers amongst the advertising industry and beyond.

Says McNaught of the ads:

"I wasn't thrilled with what that line was implying," Erin said.

She said the company emailed the slogans to her for approval, but it was while she was moving to Melbourne to be in Neighbours and she didn't see them in her inbox until later.

"When I saw the slogan, I tried to stop them using that one but they said it was too late and they were already being printed. It was pretty disappointing," she said.

Other Cockatoo Ridge billboards display McNaught with slogans "Who's a cheeky girl then" and "McNaughty but nice".

"I didn't have a problem with the other two because they are in good fun," she said.

"But that one was a bit rude."

We're inclined to believe McNaught - there's nothing Australia likes more than a bit of slut-shaming, even when - as in McNaught's case - said "sluttiness" comes from little more than an 'I was young and needed the money' photoshoot pre-fame.

She has a steady boyfriend, after all - but then, "She likes a cock or... actually, just the one" probably didn't wash with the blokes in marketing.

By now, we've all heard the news that Project Runway is headed to Lifetime. In advance of the 2009 launch, Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer has crafted a touching look at the subtle ways in which the show will change when it leaves its current home on the Bravo Network. Here's a hint: keep a box of tissues nearby. [Molls She Wrote]
· Hot tip! Prince, who was just added to the Coachella bill earlier today, will be playing a surprise show at the Green Door tonight. [LAT]
· The only thing more riveting than Olivia Munn's impossibly shiny hair is the sight of Olivia Munn and her impossibly shiny hair in a bikini. [Egotastic!]
· Slate's Kim Masters adds a bit of intrigue to the Valkyrie meltdown. It seems that, get this, the film isn't even finished filming yet! [Slate]
· William Wegman has done it again! [Goldenfiddle]
· Our friends at Videogum mock the ridiculousness of the Quickfire Challenges on Top Chef. Watch it and you'll find yourself craving Salad On A Stick, promise!
[Videogum]

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Major names like Britney Spears and Demi Moore have memorably posed for controversial pregnancy pictures in the past, but something tells us Tori Spelling's decision to bare her knocked up belly won't stir up quite as many arguments. It's pretty simple: we don't want. While shooting her (yes, it still exists) B&B reality show with hubby Dean McDermott, the unlucky quasi-heiress made a sad attempt to imitate Demi's Annie Leibowitz shoot for Vanity Fair and Britney's uber-styled photos in Harper's Bazaar. Unfortunately, the results look more like what you'd expect from your local mall photographer as opposed to the star treatment given to glossy cover-worthy celebrities of yore. A closer look, plus Tori's explanation of why she's Loving! Her! Body! after the jump.

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A browse through Defamer's Craigslist Hall of Fame suggests a near-future when all of Hollywood's hopes, dreams and ambitions will be funneled directly through the classifieds. We've never been more certain than we were this afternoon, when an eagle-eyed tipster spotted a real genius — not one of these half-assed Uwe Boll types, but a guy who can actually spell "nanotechnology" — on the prowl for a very generous producer:

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As we've been told time and time again, life often imitates art. And while we'd refrain from calling Gossip Girl "art," Leighton Meester has allegedly been using her on-screen character's controlling and manipulative tendencies behind the scenes as well. Nan Zhang, who played suspected Gossip Girl scribe Jenny, has disappeared from the New York set. Though creator Josh Schwartz is blaming the sole minority character's displacement on Zhang's ridiculous decision to focus on school, those on set are pointing their fingers in Meester's direction:

"'She was pushed off the show,' says a snitch. 'Leighton didn't like her, and she went.'"

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Compounding (and maybe even stealing) our acute grief at the news of Short Circuit Redux, LA Times columnist Jay Fernandez today mulls over the pandemic of horror glutting the marketplace. With this week's release of Prom Night leading the way, Fernandez counts more than a dozen do-overs en route to theatres, including the certain evisceration of classics like Friday the 13th, The Birds and Near Dark; a Stanford professor deigns to comment that audiences can't be bothered to think and dread at the same time, so they take comfort in the familiar. Kind of like Fernandez himself, in a way, who latched on to our Short Circuit distress by reworking our "End of Ideas" tag for a lede ("Smell that? It's the decay of original ideas"), citing stars Steve Guttenberg and Ally Sheedy being "at the height of their powers" (we said they were "in top form") and hitting the 1986 original's IMDB Quotes page to flesh out our mutual concern over Fisher Stevens' garish Indian stereotype. We feel your pain, Jay — but you already knew that, didn't you? [LAT]

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If you were to conduct a poll of the 276 million people living in these here United States asking what they'd REALLY like to know about their favourite celebrities, we're pretty sure you'd be hard pressed to find even one person who's wondering whether or not country music star Clint Black is any good at stand-up comedy. Still, that didn't stop CBS from devoting close to 6 minutes of airtime last night to answering that very question as part of their brand new show, Secret Talents Of The Stars. Sandwiched between segments of other equally perplexing talents of Z-listers (Can George Takei sing country music? Can Mya dance? Does a bear shit in the woods?), Clint Black spent some time prepping his stand-up routine with old friend Garry Shandling at the preeminent comedy hotspot for people born in the 1950s, The Comedy Store. Unfortunately for all of us, when a clearly concerned Shandling asked the yukless Black if "he had any OTHER secret talents" besides comedy, Black's answer was no. Shandling's advice and Black's so-bad-it's-bad performance follow after the jump.

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Seeing as contemporary genre godmother Nora Ephron wouldn't be interviewed for today's taxonomy of chick flicks in the New York Times, we didn't know how or even if author Michael Cieply could compensate for the vast accompanying vacuum of perspective. But after a few moments considering the revisionist dynamics of forthcoming films like Ephron's Julie & Julia and Confessions of a Shopaholic — both evidently appealing to younger male viewership — we suddenly knew there was only one capable replacement worth getting on record. And it has a Y chromosome:

[Confessions] is not just for women, the filmmakers insist. "We all have spending habits, a lot of us do," said Jerry Bruckheimer, one of the film's producers, speaking by telephone last week. "If we do our job right, this could be another Wedding Crashers." ...

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The MTV Movie Awards have always managed to deliver one or half a dozen memorable moments worthy of YouTube legacy. But the host of the show has rarely been a factor in determining that year's success story, until the producers' decision to enlist Sarah Silverman last year finally lifted the program's ratings. With last year's success still fresh in their minds, MTV has announced that Mike Myers will helm the 2008 edition, signaling a definitive return to the program's roots. Sixteen years ago, the show premiered with Dennis Miller at the wheel, followed by SNL alum Eddie Murphy, Jon Lovitz, two Jimmy Fallon appearances and of course, Myers' own try in 1997. But recently MTV has rolled their dice with more commercially appealing faces like Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba. We took a look back at the show's hosting history to figure out if the show's host, like love, has anything to do with it.

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Spring 2008 hasn't been kind to Harvey Weinstein and his little production company. First, his close friend Anthony Minghella passed away (prompting a highly critical piece penned by New York Magazine film critic David Edelstein), then he butted heads with the Marley family over his planned biopic on the reggae singer, and now the portly producer finds himself at the centre of NBC and Lifetime's battle for Project Runway. Moments after Lifetime announced their five-year $150 million deal with the Weinstein Co. to take over the helm of Bravo's signature show, Jeff Zucker and his peacocked lawyers immediately responded by suing Harvey and his goons for breach-of-contract. And insiders at NBC aren't keeping mum about their feelings towards the money-hungry Weinstein:

"Harvey hates us passionately, always did...He despises Bravo because he thinks we didn't pay him enough."

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Michael Ovitz hit the Pellicano witness stand this morning with a heart full of gratitude for his former private investigator, whose ongoing wiretapping trial became a state-sanctioned love-in as the ex-CAA/Disney/AMG boss recalled all the fun they had back in the day while paranoiacally destroying people's lives:

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Apparently Lindsay Lohan had such a great time stripping down and showcasing her talents in the pages of New York Magazine that she's overly eager to display the full monty in her next role. Set to play a sex-addicted waitress in the upcoming Florence, Lohan allegedly wanted to turn a topless scene into an opportunity to disprove all the Firecrotch rumours for good. Unfortunately for Lindsay and the rest of the world, producers "nixed that idea." Adding insult to injury, the freshly rehabbed star is reportedly only making $75,000 to take her clothes off prove her acting chops in this role. So why did Lohan decide to take this part at all? As a source tells Star:

"Lindsay doesn't care that she's getting paid peanuts...She just wants to remind people that she can act and she's worth hiring."

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The breathtaking display of vindictive fanboy rage populist aesthetic taste that is the Stop Uwe Boll Petition has more than doubled its support since we last viewed it, edging the reviled German filmmaker within a mere 860,000 signatures of his million-hater promise to never direct again. While we're optimistic that democracy can take the day by, like, 2012, we're equally devastated by Boll's aggrieved video rebuke/promotional vehicle that appeared online Tuesday:

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Finally, a good reason to shell out for tickets to a Broadway show: People reports this morning that Daniel Radcliffe and his treasure trail are set to make their stateside debut when Equus arrives in New York this September. Unlike all those rumours claiming tabloid favourites like Kevin Federline and Nicole Richie were ready to high-kick and lip sync their way through musicals, Radcliffe's smash hit in London was a far cry from stunt casting. But Harry Potter sounds a bit more nervous than he is excited:

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We've been meta-ed to within an inch of our lives this morning by news that upstart producer Tobey Maguire and resurgent Warner Independent Pictures have optioned rights to Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, Lori Gottlieb's controversial article from last month's Atlantic Monthly. A 40-year-old single mother's admonition to take whatever you can get on the romance front (soon to be a book, natch, which won't likely please our sisters-in-blog over at Jezebel), the story vaguely reminds us of a certain actor's escalation to marquee status — a milquetoast, smoldering dork opposite A-listers like Kirsten Dunst, Charlize Theron and Cate Blanchett. Any guesses?

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Of course we always enjoy seeing celebrities abandon their red carpet personas and let loose, but when they start emerging from nightclubs barely standing and sporting lipstick marks on their collarbone, we start to worry. After obediently posing for pictures at last night's premiere of Leatherheads in London, Renee Zellweger dove bob first into the party scene alongside a better-behaved George Clooney. And, as these pictures show, Zellweger may have downed one too many pricey cocktails across the pond.

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Landing somewhere between her "slutty college journalist" from Scoop and her "miscast blond enabler" from The Black Dahlia, photos of Scarlett Johansson's "sexy nurse" get-up in The Spirit leaked online late Tuesday to a bit of mixed industry reaction. Featuring Johansson as femme fatale Silken Floss, the shots appear culled from a wardrobe/hair/make-up test for Frank Miller's upcoming adaptation of the classic comic; as such, distributor Lionsgate (and its lawyers) are up in arms while the rest of us worry about the long-term setbacks to sexy nurses everywhere.

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