Wednesday, April 2, 2008
YouTube Clip Of The Day
3:40PM Jess McGuire | Magic, people. Musical magic…
(The back story…) More » 
Bang Bang, You’re F–ked: Chopper Not The Only Convicted Killer Unimpressed With ‘Underbelly’!
2:48PM Clem Bastow | Things are looking up for the producers of Channel Nine’s gangland drama series Underbelly: not only does Chopper reckon there should be “more shooting less rooting” on the show, now Carl Williams has announced he’s unhappy with the way the series has portrayed him!
Writing to his mum, from Barwon Prison where he is serving three life sentences, Williams complained that the show had painted him out as an idiot.
“I don’t mind them telling the truth about me, but telling lies and painting me out like some kind of d**khead who is brain dead – well that’s just bulls**t,” he stormed.
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Nicola Girls Aloud’s Makeup Range: No Darkies Allowed!
2:27PM Clem Bastow | Hold your horses, politically correct types! Naturally, when we say “darkies”, we mean “nothing darker than unbleached toilet paper or quartz sand”.
Yes, Nicola, Girls Aloud’s pale and fragile member (not the first time her milky-white limbs have made news, either), has branched out into the wonderful world of celebrity “product” and has launched a range of makeup specifically for lasses with paler complexions.
As part of an ITV challenge, Nicola apparently realised a “life-long dream” by launching the range of sun-sensible slap.
She said: “For years I felt like the ugly one in Girls Aloud. I was tall, skinny, with red hair and the whitest skin you’ve ever seen – standing next to to four of the most gorgeous girls in Britain.
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So You Think You Can Dance Australia Round-Up: Blame The Choreographers
2:01PM Clem Bastow | Booted So You Think You Can Dance Australia contestant and beanpole Anthony Ikin has come out sooking following his ‘eviction’, reckoning that were it not for dodgy choreography, he’d still be in the contest.
(We’d say something here about the INTENSE sexual tension between Ikin and The Bass on Monday night, but we think our picture – above – speaks for itself, particularly if you listen to Somewhere while you look at it. “Theeeeere’s aaaaa plaaaace for uuuussss…”)
Apart from a handful of solo performances, the former sport aerobics champion is peeved that he never really got a routine he could sink his teeth into thanks to some less than earth-shattering choreography.
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If You Live In Melbourne, Go And See Mark Watson’s Show (Please)
1:49PM Jess McGuire | We spent the morning gallivanting around Melbourne with comedian Mark Watson in an effort to help him train for his 24 hour stand up performance on Sunday night, with the idiotic results being broadcast on Triple J’s breakfast show. Mark managed to charm various emo kids, some Yarra Tram representatives, and a grateful florist with his improvised gibbering, and we salute him for his efforts.
As Mark is a lovely and highly comic chap, we thoroughly recommend you go and check out his festival show Can I Briefly Talk to You About the Point of Life? at some point, and you may like to be in the audience for his marathon joke slog, called Mark Watson (and Friends) Take Control Of The World In 24 Hours too. More » Vale Pebble Byrne-Denton
1:47PM Jess McGuire | We are sad to report that the Jack Russell terrier belonging to Australia’s favourite clever clogs Jennifer Byrne and Andrew Denton – a pup named Pebble – sadly passed away after being struck by a car in Double Bay on Monday, despite the presence of TV vet Dr Chris Brown at the scene.
The TV vet was driving through Double Bay on New South Head Rd when he saw a Jack Russell terrier run across the road into the early morning peak hour traffic and be hit by a car.
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Elle Macpherson Claims To Have Phenomenal Breast-Assessing Abilities
1:11PM Jess McGuire | Big ups to Elle Macpherson, who has taken it upon herself to heap praise upon.. erm, herself… regarding her uncanny gift when it comes to judging a woman’s bra size.
The supermodel – who has her own lingerie range Elle Macpherson Intimates – insists she has become an expert in guessing the bust measurements of ladies.
She said: “I can instantly tell a woman’s bra size just by looking at her.”
But you’d be a simpleton just to label Elle Macpherson “The Tit Whisperer” and leave it at that. She’s also very good at working out ways to earn delicious life-affirming moolah!
More » Great Descriptive Quotes Of Our Time
12:39PM Jess McGuire | In the verbal jousting currently going on between Heath Ledger’s family, specifically regarding his uncle Haydn Ledger’s claims in the media that the late actor may have fathered a love child at 17 years old, we wish to point out (for those who may have missed it) an amazing quote from the aforementioned Uncle Haydn in response to claims the family infighting is over money.
“I couldn’t give two knobs of goat shit about the money … We knew we were going to get nothing.”
Two knobs of goat shit, eh? Check mate, haters. More » 
Nation Shocked To Learn Gladiator Contestant Has Saucy Past
11:38AM Jess McGuire | Are we the only people who don’t find the news one of the Gladiator contestants from Sunday night’s program once appeared on a gay website terribly exciting? If he were one of the actual Gladiators, we could understand the hullabaloo, but hey – what do we know? The country appears to be going wild over the pictures that have emerged of Sam Brodie’s time on Seduced Straight Guys.
Hit television show Gladiators has been implicated in an internet porn scandal after pictures of a Queensland contestant were found on a raunchy gay site.
Sheet-metal worker Sam Brodie was discovered on the gay porn website “Seduced Straight Guys” under the pseudonym Ben in several provocative poses, including wearing a Queensland Reds jumper. The pictures have been picked up by DNA magazine.
The 23-year-old describes himself on the site as “a bit of a ladies’ man”.
Oh, that’s what they all say on Seduced Straight Guys… at first.
After the jump, a possibly NSFW snap from Sam’s time online, thanks to the folks at DNA Magazine. More » 