Your Hilarious (And Yet, Cultured) Headline Of The Day

You know, here in Australia, the whole opera business is pretty subdued. Sure, we had Operatunity! – which was compelling in a particularly no-frills, ABC manner – but our opera “stars” keep a reasonably low profile and in general it’s just something you occasionally frock up to go and see, or something that teenage boys whinge about when it appears in the opening ceremonies of their favourite sporting events.

We wish it were more like it appears to be in the UK, if the following story is anything to go by:

Evidently Juan Pablo di Pace agreed to a gig posing nude in a lavish photoshoot to promote the Royal Opera’s production of Rigoletto (no, not the spaghetti sauce, you philistines), figuring he was at the time performing in the opera and it was good exposure – er, not in that way, but we see what you did there – only to find that the art department had, well, reduced his package considerably:

He claims a crucial part of his anatomy has been air-brushed unflatteringly, making it appear much smaller than it is in real life.

In fact, the opera house has been accused of “shrinking” his manhood so much in a 2005 version of the poster that it “made it look like he barely had one at all”.

As a result of the complaints made by 28-year-old di Pace’s lawyers, who also claimed he had not been paid for use of the image, the Royal Opera House has agreed to stop using the poster.

Poor love, we can see where he’s coming from – you can inspect his tackle here in the original artwork, and we almost feel an NSFW warning is unnecessary because, well, there’s not much that’s NS about poor Juan Pablo’s airbrushed bits.

If it’s any consolation, Juan Pablo, based on the other photo supplied (i.e. of your face), and knowing that it’s not what you got, it’s how you use it, we’d still hit it!