When You Can No Longer Depend On Shannon Noll Delivering A Mind-Blowing Live Performance Everytime, Life Just Doesn’t Seem Worth Living

Condo’s favourite whore-dabbling rocker son Shannon ‘Nollsy’ Noll has offered an apology to punters who suffered through his “emotional and exhausted” (that’s the official term for celebrity off-chops behaviour, right?) appearance on stage during the CMC Rocks The Snowys concert Saturday night. After Confidential were informed by a displeased gig attendee that Shannon’s time in front of the microphone was “so appallingly bad it wasn’t funny”, Shannon Noll has admitted his mistake and begged for forgiveness, pledging to seek help for shit showmanship.

In a statement to The Telegraph late today, Noll said: “It is with great regret that I acknowledge, by my actions during my performance on Saturday night, that I have disappointed my fans, the organisers of CMC Rocks The Snowys, and my band. I apologise unreservedly.

“As a result I am taking the necessary steps to ensure that it never happens again.”

How exactly, Shannon? By never playing live again? It seems to be the only way to guarantee folk are no longer subjected to lengthy rambles about how pleased you are to be a country boy. Seriously, when an angry mob are actually shouting at Nollsy “just sing”, you know things have taken a turn for the entertainment worst.

You can read Shannon’s statement to the Telegraph in its entirety here.

We’ll never be able to watch the opening credits for The Biggest Loser without feeling a little sad. Whether that’s related to Shannon Noll or just the fact we’re slightly ashamed we’re running late once more for a night out due to our insatiable Jillian cravings, we’ll never truly know.