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Posted by Molly Friedman at 8:25 AM on March 1, 2008
Whatever quasi-Chosen One Maddox Jolie-Pitt wants, he will get. Even if he walks into a candy store and the first thing he lays his pretty eyes on is a pack of gum labeled "I Heart My Penis." And we couldn't be more thrilled to report that mom/saint Angelina Jolie hasn't given up her kinky ways just because she's a grown women with a soccer team for a family. As an Us source claims, "[Angelina] laughed and bought it." If you'll allow us one crude attempt at humor on this Friday afternoon, we're left wondering this: if little Mad hearts his penis now, what's he gonna do when puberty hits? Here's hoping there's an "I Really, Really Heart My Penis" gum brand in the works. [Us]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
SteamyMcFirecrotch
Posted 10:06 AM 1/3/08
"If little Mad hearts his penis now, what's he gonna do when puberty hits? Here's hoping there's an "I Really, Really Heart My Penis" gum brand in the works."
Which is certainly better than, "Mommy makes my penis feel funny" gum.
SteamyMcFirecrotch
hughman
Posted 10:30 AM 1/3/08
wait till he dumps his first playmate in school who "doesn't want dolls yet" for his hotter ink-stained playmate who collects dolls from every Toys R Us she visits.
hughman
Bento
Posted 10:30 AM 1/3/08
Angelina held back from asking if they had "I heart my brother's penis" mints
Bento
Assistant/Atlas
Posted 10:56 AM 1/3/08
I don't really give a crap about gossipy stuff like this, but that picture is so friggin' adorable it made me not want to destroy something beautiful for a good five minutes.
Assistant/Atlas
Rey
Posted 12:02 PM 1/3/08
@Assistant/Atlas: I agree. Making cracks about Angelina Jolie seems pretty easy, but it certainly appears to me that she's using her powers for good, unlike myriad other rich and/or famous folks.
Rey
Decebal
Posted 12:26 PM 1/3/08
Of the whole litter she's got (I am still holding our for an Eskimo or Aboriginee addition) I've hated this kid from day one. He comes across as obnoxious and will be an absolute terror once he is sixteen. Nobel Peace Prize winner, he will not be. I can even see him throw a few punches Brad's way "Not the face kid, not the face!!!!!" Ahh, that would be some awesome Karma, though.
Decebal
Det. Philangie
Posted 12:26 PM 1/3/08
I love that when you click the US link, the final graf says:
Check out the latest issue of Us Weekly for more on how Angelina stood up Jennifer Aniston and maintains the power over her.
Um, what...maintains what over what now?
Det. Philangie
fembot
Posted 1:16 PM 1/3/08
so why is she procreating - again.. someone explain - I thought she had a whole world of orphans to rescue..
fembot
heidiho
Posted 3:15 PM 1/3/08
@hughman: Awesome.
Maddox is going to grow up to be more entitled than a 23-year-old hipster.
However, I'll gladly take a two-pack of Shiloh and Zahara.
heidiho
Miss d
Posted 11:41 AM 3/3/08
What - were they all out of "Mommy is one freaking nut job" mallow bars?
Miss d
ATL_Girl_Publicist
Posted 5:08 AM 4/3/08
I simply don't get the criticsm y'all give her. By all accounts, she's a very good hands-on mom who is also using her fame and money to support causes she believes in. Wow -- what a horrible person! You all need to windex your own houses for a while.
ATL_Girl_Publicist
Decebal
Posted 11:21 AM 4/3/08
Huh? A hands-on mom does not have a nanny for each kid!!!! If she took care of them ALL BY HERSELF then I would nominate her for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Playing with your kids, is not hands-on.
Decebal
Miss d
Posted 1:42 PM 4/3/08
@ATL_Girl_Publicist: So hands-on - she's hardly ever at home... Give me a break...
Miss d
The Authority
Posted 11:55 AM 6/3/08
I wasn't aware there were flacks in Atlanta.
The Authority