RSS Feeds
Tom Cruise's Scientology Birthday Bash: What Really Happened
Posted by Seth at 8:14 AM on March 15, 2008
If you've yet to catch a glimpse of the latest semi-outrageous Tom Cruise video to hit the blogspots, sure to lift your spirits as high as it lifts page views for our evil blogging overlord's gossipy domain, then get thee there, pronto. You're all but certain to delight in the lighter side of the Clear Crusader, the guest of honour at his own extravagant birthday festivities. (Highlights: Tom applauding and laughing hysterically at a movie theme; Tom singing Bob Seger; and, believe it--Tom doing The Worm.) Meanwhile, the great minds at Gawker Media Video Laboratories--headed by lead scientist Richard Blakeley--have already made some landmark advances in the creepy-viral-video-parodying field. Enjoy.
If you've yet to catch a glimpse of the latest semi-outrageous Tom Cruise video to hit the blogspots, sure to lift your spirits as high as it lifts page views for our evil blogging overlord's gossipy domain, then
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
ricksparks
Posted 10:28 AM 15/3/08
Wow. Would *love* to crawl inside his mind for, oh, just one minute or so. Nice to see his singing voice hasn't changed since "Top Gun."
The last time I got excited when a cover band played a medicore version of a Limp Bizkit song based upon the "Mission: Impossible" theme? That would be... NEVER.
ricksparks
raincoaster
Posted 10:28 AM 15/3/08
What a day for my speakers to die.
raincoaster
hughman
Posted 10:28 AM 15/3/08
yeah... so, uh, male strippers at your birthday party huh Tom?
hughman
sassypants
Posted 11:18 AM 15/3/08
Ever, Tom? EVER?
sassypants
FranklyScarlet
Posted 11:18 AM 15/3/08
Jeepers! Tommy TOWERS over David Miscavige - head (sorry!) and shoulders.
FranklyScarlet
HiredGoons
Posted 11:18 AM 15/3/08
Is this his 'real' birthday, or when he was 'born' as one who is Thetan-free?
HiredGoons
Tippi from Toronto
Posted 11:18 AM 15/3/08
This has stunned me comment-less.
Tippi from Toronto
HiredGoons
Posted 12:02 PM 15/3/08
Of course Tom isn't #2. He's the mascot, and the mascot is never part of the team.
HiredGoons
jamriner
Posted 12:02 PM 15/3/08
And then, a thetan showed up an boned him violently
jamriner
walterny
Posted 12:02 PM 15/3/08
Except Cruise's birthday is July 3rd so what birthday is this?
walterny
TryThisAtHome
Posted 12:02 PM 15/3/08
Miscaviage is way way too buff to not be a member of the Village People, if you know what I mean.
TryThisAtHome
Tiger_Tanaka
Posted 12:02 PM 15/3/08
I know it's fun to slap the crazy tag on him and all, but, honestly, it's just a rally happy guy having lots of fun at his big birthday party. With all his crazy-ass friend-worshippers.
Tiger_Tanaka
419Baiter
Posted 12:43 PM 15/3/08
Scientology is Evolution's way of saying you've got too much money.
419Baiter
telenot
Posted 1:27 PM 15/3/08
God he's a freak...
telenot
lesbiansayswhat
Posted 2:08 PM 15/3/08
So 'what really happened' besides what's evident in the video you page view whores?
lesbiansayswhat
jasonelias
Posted 3:28 PM 15/3/08
I sense some cuttin' and splicin' cause if it was real I bet Tom would totally have given or received a lap dance.
jasonelias
bowleen
Posted 1:47 AM 16/3/08
Wow, I'm blown away (no pun intended) that a few of the commenters didn't seem to get the joke. I like your spliced-together-with male strippers one better than the original...
bowleen
ihateyourescalade
Posted 2:30 AM 16/3/08
He's a big boy now. I'd like to see him tuck in his shirt. Or does that not happen until 50?
ihateyourescalade
Kdoggy
Posted 11:09 AM 16/3/08
Wow, what a loyal band of ass-kicking sycophants, fake laughing to match Tom's fake laughing, hip slapping to match Tom's hip slapping...and then there's that science fiction religion thing.
Kdoggy
Cacafuego
Posted 11:47 AM 16/3/08
The only events I've gone to where the 'guest of honor's' face/picture is constantly thrown up on multiple screens with their favorite music/theme songs have been WAKES.
Cacafuego
LLH
Posted 1:46 AM 17/3/08
no katie as this was in 2004 (so says the gawker article) maybe she wouldn't have taken the wife job had she seen then how gay and BSC (bat shit crazy) he was then. and i really think the whole ship took mushrooms or something. they seem to all be laughing at nothing. nothing at all.
LLH