RSS Feeds
Paper Mag's Top Ten Worst Nude Scenes Are Disturbingly Delicious
Posted by Molly Friedman at 10:02 AM on March 1, 2008
Normally the opportunity to see celebs naked on film is worthy of spending whatever it takes to buy the DVD and add it to your dirty collection. Heather Graham in Boogie Nights comes to mind, as does Halle Berry in Monster's Ball. But when folks like Philip Seymour Hoffman and Kathy Bates are flashing their naughty bits in crystal clear HD, we tend to shut our eyes fast the way we do whenever a particularly gruesome scene from the Saw franchise comes on. Nevertheless, Paper Magazine compiled a totally excellent Top Ten list of the worst nude scenes they've ever seen and, while the images aren't pretty, they're still perfect for a good cry/laugh for a Friday afternoon. Some NSFW stills from his list we managed to wrangle after the jump, if you dare...
Though Paper didn't dare dig up any terribly revealing visuals of the gory scenes in question (Ed. Note - What a bunch of squares!), we dug up a few from his top five. For all two of you interested in salivating over Hoffman's flabby butt, Patrick Dempsey's censored full-frontal or Julie Andrews' surprisingly perfect rack, today's your day.
Julie Andrews kinda makes us wanna switch sides in S.O.B.:
Patrick Dempsey, the lone attractive male example on Paper's list, in Some Girls:
And PSH giving Penelope Cruz the ol' doggie in Before The Devil Knows You're Dead:
- CINEMANIAC'S TOP TEN WORST NUDE SCENES OF ALL TIME [Papermag.com]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
maggie
Posted March 3, 2008 1:52 PM
More and more people are interested in nudism now. Even many celebs posed nude, recently such as Angelina Jolie, Sophie Monk. Their nude videos&photos were found on nudistconnect.com . It is? porn path? No, I do not think so.
Mel Gibstein
Posted 12:02 PM 1/3/08
@Wendy_Kroy: um...how about Harvey Keitel in BAD LIEUTENANT ?
The fact that Mr. Keitel is absent from this list makes it entirely moot. And what about having to witness Vincent Gallo being sucked off in THE BROWN BUNNY? Author should be fired.
Mel Gibstein
whytee
Posted 12:02 PM 1/3/08
Kate Winslet running naked in the desert and peeing down her leg in Jane Campion's Holy Smoke didn't do the enchanting Ms. Winslet any favors.
whytee
bluelanugo
Posted 12:02 PM 1/3/08
That's Marisa Tomei, not Penelope Cruz. And she looked incredible!! Good Lord.
bluelanugo
Wendy_Kroy
Posted 12:02 PM 1/3/08
My God, how did Harvey Keitel escape that list? His appearance in The Piano almost made me switch teams.
Wendy_Kroy
IBentMyWookie
Posted 12:02 PM 1/3/08
Wow, those are nice breasts.
Now off I go to check the list and ensure that BillyBob Thornton's ass in Monster's Ball got a mention, lest I be forced to write a letter to the editor.
IBentMyWookie
mugczar
Posted 12:26 PM 1/3/08
or geoffrey rush on a trampoline in shine.
like that movie wasn't bad enough already ...
mugczar
spankhaus
Posted 12:52 PM 1/3/08
How come Julie's tits are showing and Dempsey's wang is censored? I'm genuinely confused.
spankhaus
anotherlovetko
Posted 12:52 PM 1/3/08
@Wendy_Kroy: He was more nekkid in "The Bad Lieutenant." It was artistically necessary though, cuz he was smoking heroin and crying while standing there, swaying. Good movie. Wtf happened to Abel Ferrera anyway?
anotherlovetko
Trai_Dep
Posted 4:40 AM 2/3/08
@mugczar: I keep hoping for a Director's Cut of Shine, where Rush's exposed dangly bits are bouncing tantalizingly at the camera, in slo-mo, 'natch. And hi-def.
Am I the only artist in this damn town?!
Trai_Dep
Tippi from Toronto
Posted 9:11 AM 2/3/08
The Basic Instinct love scenes, any of them featuring Michael Douglas's saggy, wrinkled ass, bothered me more than any of the love scenes mentioned here.
And hey! Julie Andrews has nice nipples!
Tippi from Toronto
Trai_Dep
Posted 11:05 AM 2/3/08
Julie Andrews' secret: ice cubes and a fluffer.
Trai_Dep
SanFranBetsu
Posted 6:56 AM 3/3/08
Oi! I refuse to watch PSH having sex with anybody. Last week I saw the video of Gene Simmons having sex and it knocked the lady-wood right out of me. Just got it back last night and I'm not taking any chances! However, I'm pretty sure that PSH is, at least, more enthuesiastic than The Tongue. In my experience, ugly guys work harder at it. That still doesn't explain Simmons.
SanFranBetsu
Miss d
Posted 2:51 PM 3/3/08
@Tippi from Toronto: Right there with you! How about every movie where they try to make us believe that Michael Douglas is every woman's wide wet dream?
Miss d
Tippi from Toronto
Posted 5:15 PM 3/3/08
@Miss d: I know! He looks like my Granny!
Tippi from Toronto
thesuspiciouspackage
Posted 3:43 AM 4/3/08
I think the upskirt of the dead Jigsaw during the autopsy scene in SAW IV is woefully underappreciated. Or was dead pickle not considered?
thesuspiciouspackage
Cacafuego
Posted 10:31 AM 4/3/08
@SanFranBetsu:
The only way I'd be interested in watching Simmons fuck is if he was in full KISS bauki-make-up and the dragon platform shoes, while spitting blood and breathing fire.
Cacafuego