Newly Surfaced Evidence Suggests George Clooney’s Girlfiend Enjoys The Taste Of Sand And Magazines

Spotted frequently at George Clooney’s side, little is known about the actor’s comely and seemingly demure girlfriend Sarah Larson, an oversight finally corrected by Star Magazine in a blistering exposé entitled “Sarah Larson’s Sin City Secrets.” Described as a “former go-go dancer,” the leading supermarket news source soberly goes on to report that “evidence of her wild escapades has been spilling out of Sin City like quarters from a slot machine!” Exhibit A: The 2007 photo above, from lastnightsparty.com, in which Larson is seen giving her dead-on impression of a Dune sandworm, moments after emerging from its subterranean lair to feast on a meal of sand plankton (as represented by a glossy magazine and actual sand). Think that’s amazing? Wait until you see Exhibit B, in which Larson appears to levitate right off the ground—a stunning illusion achieved using nothing more than some powerful inner-thigh strength and the hips of a nearby patron. It’s after the jump.

• Sarah Larson’s Sin City Secrets [Star]
• LastNightsParty.com