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Madonna's Most Explicit Album Cover Yet Comes On The Eve Of Her 50th Birthday
Posted by Molly Friedman at 6:20 AM on March 15, 2008
If we saw our mother spreading her legs on billboards and in the window displays of old-fashioned CD stores, we'd probably either disown her, change our names or move to Mars. Unless, of course, she was Madonna. Then we might just have to put the poster up in our rooms. Madge is turning 50 this year, and she's not letting that stop her from putting out her single most explicit album cover to date. Even Erotica's open lips and Confessions On A Dance Floor's spread eagle from behind don't compare with the artwork for Hard Candy, which features the B12 shot lover posing as an S&M-inspired boxer (of sorts) waiting to "kick your ass" (just as Madonna promised the album would do). But just because Madonna's putting it all out there now doesn't mean her more suggestive covers weren't ten times sexier.
Take, for example, her three most provocative covers up to this point, 1983's Like A Virgin, 1992's Erotica, and 2005's Confessions:
We happen to think the lacy dress on Virgin is just begging to be lifted up, even if we can't even see the hem. And the close-up shot of Madonna's cherry-lined lips and false eyelashes on Erotica is somehow sexier when drawn in such exaggerated effect, like a page from Playboy coming to life. And then there's her last effort, the leotarded Confessions, which portrays her a disco-happy blonde redhead so enraptured with the music that she doesn't even have time to turn towards the camera. Judging from these three album covers alone, we think Madge is far sexier when she keeps it in her pants.
[Photo Credits: People, Absolute Madonna]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Seth
Posted 8:42 AM 15/3/08
I fail to see what is so explicit about that cover. Also, 50-year-olds are hot. I just banged one last week.
Seth
TryThisAtHome
Posted 8:42 AM 15/3/08
@City_Dater: Yes, we will all be 50 some day, which I assume is way better than being dead. I'd say "more power to her," but I'd think that the cover is dumb even if she were 25.
TryThisAtHome
guitarsnob
Posted 8:42 AM 15/3/08
@City_Dater: swoosh!
guitarsnob
Cam/ron
Posted 8:42 AM 15/3/08
@bess marvin, girl detective: Indeed, it's like a TMZ-style font.
Cam/ron
City_Dater
Posted 8:42 AM 15/3/08
"There's nothing tragic about being 50, Norma. Unless you're trying to be 25."
City_Dater
shag_carpet_bomb
Posted 8:42 AM 15/3/08
She still hasn't got a thing on those Roxy Music covers with Jerry Hall.
shag_carpet_bomb
bess marvin, girl detective
Posted 8:42 AM 15/3/08
remember when album covers used to be art? now it's just crap, although i do like that "confessions" cover. hate the font on "hard candy"
bess marvin, girl detective
juniperjenny
Posted 8:42 AM 15/3/08
Um...wait. So if Madonna were your mother, you would masturbate to her poster? I'm just trying to understand here.
juniperjenny
Cam/ron
Posted 8:42 AM 15/3/08
That cover resembles a 20-year-old "mature porn" video found at a flea market.
Cam/ron
thatblackgirl
Posted 8:42 AM 15/3/08
PUT YOUR VAGINA AWAY.
thatblackgirl
ophthalmologist
Posted 9:40 AM 15/3/08
Reminds me of that Esquire cover back in the 90's, just less skin showing. Besides, where can you go after the Sex book.
True Blue was sexier than the Confessions sleeve.
ophthalmologist
Leviticus_71
Posted 9:40 AM 15/3/08
Why must women constantly throw their chucha in my face? It's just embarassing, having to swat away all that sniz.
Leviticus_71
Nomi Malone
Posted 11:18 AM 15/3/08
and for old time's sake:
"i'm getting a little too old for that whorish look." thanks for guiding us into our golden years, cristal connors.
Nomi Malone
narymary
Posted 11:18 AM 15/3/08
I'd imagine at her age that, yes, her candy is quite hard. Possibly quite dry as well.
narymary
Nomi Malone
Posted 11:18 AM 15/3/08
stop it, guys. amanda lapore looks great!
Nomi Malone
Miss Anne Thrope
Posted 1:27 PM 15/3/08
Pewwwww!
Miss Anne Thrope
fembot
Posted 1:27 PM 15/3/08
"Judging from these three album covers alone, we think Madge is far sexier when she keeps it in her pants."
-Isn't that usually the case??
fembot
raincoaster
Posted 9:25 PM 15/3/08
Is that, like, a graphic representation of Madonna's crotch making a sonic boom?
raincoaster
sundaeg1rl
Posted 7:53 AM 16/3/08
I bet Lourdes is mortified. Just like I was today when I saw this headline: Madonna Sexes Up New Album
Pass the sickbag!
sundaeg1rl
CakeAndDeath
Posted 7:53 AM 16/3/08
you people are crazy. she's frikkin' 50 -- that's HALF a century old -- and she still looks as bangable as ever. grandmadonna can put that "chucha" in my face any day.
CakeAndDeath
Victor Ward
Posted 11:47 AM 16/3/08
I am totally ok with this; however, I will refer to her as Blanche from now on.
Victor Ward
bitchybitch
Posted 1:32 PM 17/3/08
Let me once again pull out my stock Madonna line: "Her Rabbi must be so proud."
bitchybitch
regisgoat
Posted 10:01 PM 17/3/08
It's the album cover celebrating her 75th birthday that's going to be reaaaaaaal skeezey.
regisgoat