It's Ryan Seacrest's World And We're All Just Living In It
Posted by Molly Friedman at 4:44 AM on March 26, 2008
What would happen if you made a gorgeous mesh of Larry King, Regis Philbin, Oprah Winfrey, Dick Clark and Rupert Murdoch? Other than having one hell of a botox bill on your hands, you'd have the burgeoning boy wonder that is Ryan Seacrest. After years spent being bullied by the media (for being quasi-femme, for "dating" Teri Hatcher) and Simon Cowell (for being "yappy little chihuahua"), he is now being applauded for his ambitions to become "the Dick Clark, Larry King and Merv Griffin for a new generation." But how did the Chicklet-toothed boy from Atlanta who used to make Casey Kasem videos in his bedroom at the age of 8 manage to (gulp) win us over?
"I've never had any work done. I've had a facial or two because I've got to get that makeup out of my pores. Otherwise, I'll look like Pizza Face."
We kid! Certainly there's more to ruling the world than facials, right? As Seacrest himself puts it, "I knew exactly what my path was when I was 9 years old...I knew there'd be about 3 million steps, but I also knew I had to get through them." But how do his idols feel about their replacement? According to Regis Philbin, it was the matter of being the right person at the right time. Then there's the fact that Seacrest has informed The Washington Post that he intends on taking over for Larry King once he, uh, "goes." And fellow talk show host Craig Ferguson has his own opinions on the Seacrest sensation: "Ryan admitted that he cried at Eva Longoria Parker's wedding...Hang in there, Ryan. Someday you'll find someone just like Tony."
But despite all the insults, jabs and jeers from Cowell three nights a week, Ryan's massive success is becoming less and less mockable. Why? He's got cash -- LOTS of cash. He takes in $12 mill annually from hosting Idol and he recently inked a 3 year deal with the notorious cheapskates at E! for $21 mill. Now add his (undisclosed) income from radio shows, his clothing line, and endless endorsement deals, and you're looking at a guy who's made a fortune based on good manicures, sexual ambiguity, and a mouth so chatty he really does give Larry a run for his money. If only he could manage to explain that whole "flu" fiasco at this year's Golden Globes, we'd forgo our years of player-hatin' and crown him king.
- THE MAN, THE BRAND, THE PLAN TO RULE TV [Washington Post]
- RYAN SEACREST INC.[Nikki Finke]

Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
hack-a-rific
Posted 6:58 AM 26/3/08
I'm just glad he stopped talking like a muppet.
hack-a-rific
Nomi Malone
Posted 6:58 AM 26/3/08
oh, he's had some facials alright.
Nomi Malone
Leviticus_71
Posted 7:44 AM 26/3/08
@Nomi Malone:ha! I wonder how much he gets per facial? Honestly, I kinda thought i recognized the back of his head.
Leviticus_71
Glass_Family
Posted 8:29 AM 26/3/08
Someone should give him a mid-day talk show. I'm thinking Fox.
Glass_Family
bonniegrrl
Posted 9:41 AM 26/3/08
speaking of Muppets, when is ALF going to take on another talk show?
bonniegrrl
CrankYank
Posted 9:41 AM 26/3/08
Show's the true talent in this world is having a good agent. And I never thought I'd be routing for Larry King's continue health and well-being, but here I am.
CrankYank