Inarticulate Casts Of ‘Idol’ And ‘The View’ Realize They Have A Lot In Common

Two-thirds of the American Idol grand jury stopped by The View today to promote their various side-projects (the completely pitchy-free Randy Jackson’s Music Club, Volume 1 in stores now, dawg!) and dish about the greatest tournament in competitive karaoke history.

Dolled up in a silk ascot and the most ornately lined blazer completely-lucked-upon money can buy, Jackson begged to differ with Joy Behar’s assessment that the show’s popularity hinged on the absent Simon Cowell (who, shitting bigger than Elisabeth Hasselbeck, had better things to do today). They were also made to address the seeming double standard that sent poor contestant Frenchie Davis home for naughty internet work, but allowed exotic-dancing, unwitting booger-harborer David Hernandez to stay. Abdul explained the two not-very-different scenarios as “different.” Perhaps if female-body-curious Barbara Walters had been there, her generous offer of demonstrating the finer shadings between the two sex-working genres would have been more enthusiastically received.

• The View