Hugh Hefner Wants Olsen Twins in Playboy, Loyal Readers Promptly Cancel Subscriptions

Has the Hef finally reached that age where he should start relegating his casting decisions to someone with, ahem, better vision? After understandably courting Lindsay Lohan to pose for Playboy following her NY Mag shoot (Note: we may have typed the phrase “following her NY Mag shoot” approximately 79 times in the last week. That’s called a successful spread, people.), the robed golden oldie has now set his sights on none other than the collective 100 pound twosome that are Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. Having previously begged the then-plumpish-sized twins on their 18th birthday, Hef is still under the impression that “the twins are every young man’s fantasy,” according to a source at Ace Showbiz. Call us crazy, but last time we checked, women with the bodies of 12 year-old boys who dress like grannies ready to hop the bus to Atlantic City don’t exactly set men’s pants ablaze…Let’s take a look-see and figure out whether it’s time for ol’ Hef to retire his scouting skills. We’ll compare the Olsens back in the day, when they were healthy-looking tweenybops ready to take over the world (too bad about that whole drugs/anorexia/college dropout thing, huh?), to their current states of barely breathing. First, a glimpse of the Olsens of yore:

And, shield your eyes kiddies, a dark glimpse into what exactly Hef thinks will drive the boys wild:

Well hey, maybe if Ashley could just hold that squatting pose while MK wraps her pin-thin legs around her waist and then, uh, no, nevermind. We can’t even let our imaginations reach that point, or we may be scarred for life.

• THE OLSEN TWINS ASKED TO POSE FOR PLAYBOY [Ace Showbiz]