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'Hell To The No!' Says 'Idol' Oustee Asked To Reprise Her Failure Anthem
Posted by Seth at 9:27 AM on March 1, 2008
On last night's American Idol results show, two of this year's nine virtually identical blondes--cloned at Fremantle Laboratories off a Season One contestant who's been kept in a veal stall and fed on a diet of protein-boosted Jamba Juice and easy-listening favorites--were at risk of elimination. Only one was cut however, and that was (checking the website again just to be certain) Alaina Whitaker.
On last night's
Interestingly, Whitaker nearly broke away from Idol tradition of sucking it up for one last performance (we're still waiting for the contestant who's forced to sing "I'm Walking on Sunshine" through an open spigot of tears), telling Ryan Seacrest that there was no way in hell she'd be able to perform for 32 million of her closest friends so soon after seeing her career hopes snuffed. With the support of her Idol friends, however, she eventually overcame, and America will not soon forget her stirring rendition of (checking website again) "Hopelessly Devoted to You."
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
sassypants
Posted 12:02 PM 1/3/08
"*sob* I can't sing! Ieeeee!"
Fucking. Gold.
sassypants
sicksteanein
Posted 12:02 PM 1/3/08
@lex99: Oh gimme a break. It's not like she was just sentenced to prison.
Get used to it, honey. You need to learn to overcome this kind of stuff if you really wanna be successful.
sicksteanein
lex99
Posted 12:02 PM 1/3/08
That was pretty sad, actually. She had such an awful look on her face from the moment she got called up there.
lex99
BlackladyfromNetwork
Posted 12:52 PM 1/3/08
I'm not watching Idol this year. And after reading that post, I feel like an exjunkie watching his old shooting gallery buddy wake up in in his own shit. FREEDOM!!!
BlackladyfromNetwork
lex99
Posted 2:06 PM 1/3/08
@sicksteanein: Ummm... is it possible for someone to be sad in cases other than going to prison?
Besides, the point is not that she needs to overcome this kind of thing if she wants to be successful. The point is that if she WAS going to be successful, this wouldn't have happened. The hammer of failure was brought down upon her! One minute, you might have a future of mega-fame, the next minute it's burger-time.
lex99
dandles
Posted 8:31 AM 3/3/08
It happened because she's the only freakin' one who's not an INDUSTRY PROFESSIONAL WITH TONS OF EXPERIENCE AND FAILED RECORD CONTRACTS.
I hate the frickin' kid who won Star Search and keeps muttering, "But I'm just a kid, I'm only 17." He needs to be stopped.
dandles
Miss d
Posted 2:25 PM 3/3/08
Who the fuck invited the Jezebel commenters?
Miss d
DavidWatts
Posted 3:40 PM 3/3/08
@Miss d: Quick, I heard someone making a rape joke. CAN YOU BELIEVE SOMEONE WOULD DO THAT OMG GO COMMENT!!
DavidWatts
Superstarsteve
Posted 6:41 PM 3/3/08
She's got a great voice. She sounds an awful lot like Carrie Underwood.
Superstarsteve
Miss d
Posted 1:42 PM 4/3/08
@DavidWatts: *HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH*
Miss d