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David Caruso: 'What Should I Do? I Am A Grown Man With Red Hair.'
Posted by Mark Graham at 11:44 AM on March 14, 2008
Exactly one week ago today, we ran a fairly innocuous item about David Caruso's effusive bullying of a young director on the set of CSI: Sunglasses. Unbeknownst to us at the time we posted it, this item would generate a tremendous amount of feedback from you, the Defamer community. In particular, we received one incredibly detailed recollection of Caruso's on-set behaviour from a commenter with the nom de plume of OnSetSnitch. While we normally don't make a practice out of reprinting comments verbatim, this one is so full of Grade-A juice that we felt compelled to share it with a wider audience. With that, please enjoy this unfortunate (yet hilarious) tale of what it's like to work with the likes of David Caruso on a daily basis:
It's taken me a bit of courage to actually fess up to what I've seen on the set of CSI:Miami, but I actually worked there for two years and saw first-hand almost 50 episodes being filmed. Caruso is without a doubt, the most tortured, saddest man-child/ actor I've ever seen in over 15 years of movie and tv-making. Everything you have heard is true, but worse.
He can't walk and talk at the same time (you should see him on stairs), requires dozens of takes for simplest line-readings (which as we all know, he can only do one way), and can't even put his CSI gloves on on-camera (always a time cut, just watch). He will cuss uncontrollably (often in front of a child actor) and blame everyone but himself for his inability to act. He used to hack up big loogies on the floor of the set, too, until a producer gently reminded him of sanitation and courtesy. Oh, and he re-writes every scene he is in, so he is totally to blame for the hackneyed one-liners. He will take anything the writers give him, and destroy it. And the sunglass bit is all his, a truly innovative contribution to his character. But as he said to us many times, "What should I do? I am a grown man with red hair."We used to call the diet coke his "acting juice."
PS - He once asked the DP to make it seem like he was flying to the crime scene, explaining that Horatio is actually a mythical superhero. For Real.
For real, indeed! Thanks again to OnSetSnitch.
PREVIOUSLY: David Caruso Bullies Young Director Into Shooting Umpteenth Sunglasses Removal Scene
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
DianneRR
Posted 2:14 PM 14/3/08
Having never seen CSI: Miami, I spent a holiday weekend watching a marathon on A&E last year. By the 4th hour, I could tell, within milliseconds, when the sunglasses would go on or off. Needless to say, I've never watched it again.
Honest to God, though, who cares? The titles alone on these blurbs make me spit my drink out through my nose. So, for that, I both thank and curse the David Carusos of the world.
DianneRR
dandles
Posted 2:14 PM 14/3/08
He's still bitter about Jade.
dandles
Cacafuego
Posted 2:14 PM 14/3/08
Ever see his first movie? The horror/sci-fi one with Jack Palance & Martin Landau called WITHOUT WARNING? It is fuckin' hilarious. You're treated to a early 20s Caruso dressed in what looks like terry-cloth swim trunks and an OPEN SHIRT, displaying his frog-belly glow-in-the-dark hairless concave chest. (And I say this as a proud red-head. Although, to be fair, reds of the Belgian/Nordic persuasion fare better in sunshine than the Celtic ones do.)He gets killed pretty early & pretty gross, if memory serves.
Cacafuego
bess marvin, girl detective
Posted 2:14 PM 14/3/08
god, i hope this encourages more people to write in and air out the ridiculous behaviors of celebrities.
bess marvin, girl detective
hughman
Posted 2:15 PM 14/3/08
this is what gives gingers a bad name.
hughman
TryThisAtHome
Posted 2:15 PM 14/3/08
Is it just me or does he kind of look like Elton John in that photo?
TryThisAtHome
StylusPictures
Posted 2:56 PM 14/3/08
Kyle: "Ike, do your impression of David Caruso's career!"
Ike: "It's my turn!" (Ike jumps out of the spaceship and plummets to the ground)
Remember? :)
StylusPictures
LucyTuzy
Posted 3:36 PM 14/3/08
The show makes so much more sense now.
LucyTuzy
barzzini
Posted 3:37 PM 14/3/08
Are you kidding me? CSI Miami is one of the coolest shows around. Horatio is a badass. He will bring a man down in an instant. Not like that pussy Gil Grissom.
barzzini
Tiger_Tanaka
Posted 5:37 PM 14/3/08
Wanker. Tom Selleck could kick the shit out of him, take his place on the show, and no one would even blink.
Tiger_Tanaka
Magister
Posted 6:53 PM 14/3/08
@Tiger_Tanaka: So could Jimmy Smits, the kid from Silver Spoons or Saved by the Bell.
Oh, and there was one season premier (or finale), where they implied that Caruso was the Hand of God or on a "Mission", but unfortunately, the concept just faded.
(I've commented before that I consider Caruso one of the funniest shows on television, so I generally catch most of them at some time just to watch him go)
Magister
thesuspiciouspackage
Posted 12:31 AM 15/3/08
Wait, doesn't everyone in Miami have trouble walking and talking at the same time and think they can fly?
thesuspiciouspackage
SteamyMcFirecrotch
Posted 1:23 AM 15/3/08
"What should I do? I'm a grown man with red hair."
I'd like that T-shirt in an extra large, please.
And a "Discreet" if you have one. Thanks.
SteamyMcFirecrotch
AndFurthermore...
Posted 3:02 AM 15/3/08
"What should I do? I am a grown man with red hair."
1. Thank your lucky stars that Ron Howard gave up the acting thing.
2. Obviously: Wear sunglasses. Remove sunglasses. Repeat as necessary.
3. Boost your SPF. Skin cancer is no picnic.
AndFurthermore...
fishwife
Posted 3:02 AM 15/3/08
Sweet baby Jesus this man makes me and my entire clan of cave-gingers embarrassed to have fallen from the auburn tree.
fishwife
SanFranBetsu
Posted 4:22 AM 15/3/08
@barzzini: Oh please, Caruso can't act his way out of a paper bag. Sadass is more like it.
SanFranBetsu
City_Dater
Posted 4:22 AM 15/3/08
Well, in his defense, the flying idea would solve the whole inability-to-walk and-talk difficulty.
City_Dater
Superstarsteve
Posted 6:05 AM 15/3/08
I remember that post. It must be tortuous to work on that set "around" Caruso.
Superstarsteve
coocoo
Posted 7:08 AM 15/3/08
Why is he spreading his grief and bad acting mojo to Brazil they have enough troubles.
coocoo
lacyleanne
Posted 2:29 AM 16/3/08
david is a fabulous guy- intelligent, generous, funny, and so sexy. if you don't like him, dont watch him. and all this started with the david caruso stalker, heidimarie schnitzer. you should all be aware she was caught, arrested and detained in austria over this. talk about a loser!
lacyleanne
hixter
Posted 2:29 AM 16/3/08
The only way to watch him "act" is to pretend you are really watching William Shatner "act".
hixter
Cacafuego
Posted 11:47 AM 16/3/08
@lacyleanne:
"If you don't like him, don't watch him".
I don't and I don't.
Cacafuego
famousauthor
Posted 12:58 PM 16/3/08
One thing you can do as a grown man with red hair is to become a blogger. If you cut the hair short enough.
famousauthor
Puppymaus
Posted 7:36 PM 20/3/08
Thank you for sharing. I think people suspected all along that something was not right. Lately, the only thing Caruso has been doing was posing and playing with his sunnies. People started to wonder why. Now we have the answer.
Honestly, I never believed the publicily displayed contriteness of Caruso.
CSI Miami has turned into CSI David Caruso and it is the downfall of the show. Once a Diva always a Diva.
Puppymaus
MarylinMonroesGhost
Posted 7:36 PM 20/3/08
I just threw up in my mouth a little. Sorry, lacyleanne Caruso is neither intelligent no generous nor sexy.
His acting is simply unwatchable, his mannerism ridculous.
Thank you onsetsnitch for sharing! We want MORE
MarylinMonroesGhost