Casting The Upcoming ‘90210′ Spinoff

Break out your varsity jackets and teasing combs, because Beverly Hills: 90210 is getting a B12 shot in the arse. As THR reports this morning, the beloved fictional halls of West Beverly will be refurbished and re-populated with a brand new spinoff on the CW. Though a pilot has yet to be written by Veronica Mars producer Rob Thomas, and the tweeny network has yet to sign any papers, we’d like to prevent Aaron Spelling from rolling over in his grave by offering our own suggestions for who should play Brenda, Brandon and their rotating group of bed buddies. Although we kinda doubt a marching band dusted with school spirit could help our Donna Martin graduate…

Dylan McKay: Zac Efron, because he’s a pretty boy with great hair.
Kelly Taylor: Ashley Tisdale, because she’s used to playing the bitchy popular girl. Too bad she already got a nosejob, though — that could’ve been a revolutionary episode.

Brandon Walsh: Tom Welling, because he could save the day with a smile.
David Silver: Kevin Federline, because he’s a wannabe rapper in need of a gig.

Donna Martin: Jamie Lynn Spears, because it would be a cinch playing the dumb blonde who preaches celibacy (only to get knocked up this time around, ‘cuz it’s the Millenium!).
Brenda Walsh: Miley Cyrus, because we still can’t figure out whether or not we love or hate her.

Steve Sanders: Cody Lohan, because he’s blonde and annoying.
Andrea Zuckerman: Gabrielle Carteris, because, well, she needs a job.

Did we miss anything? Leave your suggestions in the comments, that’s what they’re there for!

• RICH KIDS ARE BACK: CW PLOTS ‘90210′ SPINOFF [THR]