"...I think I'm a little bit of competition inside."

She must be referring to her attractive spleen.

Beppo

eekk.. i'm not even seeing a chic

fembot

I'm seeing Mariel Hemingway. And she was way hot in Alice, Sweet Alice.

queensissy

Hmm, so now you've moved on from passing insulting schoolyard remarks on the looks of Sandra Oh, Madonna, Amy Winehouse and Sarah Jessica Parker. Today you've picked Brooke Shields.
Why do you care what they look like, Molly Friedman? And since you brought this up, what do YOU look like? Mark Lisanti, an extremely talented and hilarious writer who built Defamer's readership, never stooped to this. Neither does Seth, nor does Mark Graham. And they are better writers than you are. Maybe because while you waste time and energy thinking of bitchy ways to slyly insult women and disguise your misogyny, they're honing their skills at crafting more interesting content with way funnier punchlines.

Crazydogggz

It's like, yeah motherfucker, she's hot.

Monsieur.Mind

Fembot: Uh, not seeing a chick? C'mon, Brooke looks better now then ever. Unless of course you're looking in the mirror.

Kdoggy

Crazy hot and getting hotter: It's the new ick.

beercheck

Thanks for letting us know what looks hot, apparently short little legs and puny shoulders. Brooke Sheilds is just so hideously tall and manly it's a wonder she found anyone willing to reproduce with her. I mean, should she even consider herself a woman, since she is of above-average height and all?

murasaki

@Crazydogggz: YES.

CumaeanSibyl

Will assume this post is some misguided attempt at sarcasm and you're not really insulting tall woman or females with broad shoulders. Or Brooke Shields' looks, for fuck's sake. If I'm wrong, may a tall, broad-shouldered woman elbow you in the face today.

3cardkitty

If tall, broad shouldered women were considered attractive, why, you would think there would be some sort of commerce based on this. Some sort of profession that specialized in seeking out women of this type, placing them in fetching poses in magazines, or perhaps wearing designer clothing on stage. No, Friedman's right. The concept is laughable.

OldTowneTavern

Ummm, what happened to the jezelutions? Admittedly, over-self-confidence is a fair target, but what's so wrong with broad shoulders and Amazons?

badmanners

Was somebody ignored as Daddy obsessively watched every showing of _The Blue Lagoon_ on HBO?

(Or was this posted by Tom Cruise?)

Rey

@3cardkitty: @anotherlovetko: @Crazydogggz: Well thanks anotherlovetko, and yes that is my photo.

And Crazydoggz, feel free to be my Facebook friend if you are in fact interested in what I look like (though I thought you said looks shouldn't matter when it comes to media commentary?). In any case, let's virtually kiss and make up on FB. Then you can view my pictures and write all sorts of meanie comments on each and every one. Deal?

Molly Friedman

@Crazydogggz: Phuck Brooke, if that's Molly's real photo, then she's hot, lol...

anotherlovetko

@Molly Friedman: And yet you said: "As pretty as Brookie may be, her Amazonian stature and broad shoulders never put her at the top of our dream girl list."

If you're going to be a catty bitch, at least own it.

3cardkitty

I say timidly: I think she looks pretty hot. She's always been a bit adrogynous, but she looks smoking in those shots.

Of course, I am sick to death of Madge.

Tippi from Toronto

@Crazydogggz: Nice to meet you, Crazydogggz. Well, here we go:
1) As you'll notice, I did call Brooke pretty right off the bat, and do, in fact, think she's an attractive girl.
2) Never called her ugly; simply said she doesn't top my personal list of girls I'd give it a go with. We all have our own taste, no?
3) As for the SJP post, try reading it again. I happen to think SJP's hot, and sided with her shock upon being listed "unsexiest" by Maxim. I didn't write the list, just reported it!
4) Broad shoulders and height do not an unattractive girl make. But, as you'll see in the clip, the cruel photographer responsible for de-sexifying Brooke did her no justice whatsoever. In this post, I'm actually expressing sympathy for her as she attempts to feign delight with the Interview spread's results. Good for her for evoking pride over what are terribly unflattering shots.

Molly Friedman

Mark Lisanti and his humility are sorely missed.

3cardkitty

@Molly Friedman: And girlfriend, you don't need to explain yourself! Own it.

heidiho

Aw, I love Brooke. I sat next to her at Alcove a couple years ago, and she was nice, gorgeous and not freakishly huge whatsoever.

@3cardkitty: We all miss Mark. I've been reading his Tumblr daily.

heidiho

... all that THAT you just explained ...

yvonnjanae

Cause Molly, all that what you just explained, totally didn't come through on the original post about Brooke or SJP.

yvonnjanae

@Molly Friedman: So, okay, I'm an asshole with a dick and all that, but.....Baloney. And by that, I mean Bullshit. I damned near went 1-4, point-by-point, describing how you contradicted yourself at every turn, but I began to hate my wordiness and my Y revolted.

Yet, intellectually, I like you.

I wish you'd just say "damn, I didn't think this all the way through before I threw my grandmother under the bus" and be done with it.

I also wish that lottery ticket I didn't buy would somehow make me rich.

beercheck

beautiful woman, great body, crappy photos....

casunprincess

Hoooo, Boy!! A flame war over the size of Brooke Shields!

It's getting me all hot and bothered. I see Brooke and Molly on the school yard after six period with everyone chanting "Girl Fight! Meow!"

See, smart money is on Brooke because she could snap Molly like a twig, but I know them scrappy chicks. Molly will scale Brooke like the Empire State Building and bring her down with a "Shadow of the Colossus" blow to her glowing weak spot.

Molly smokes a triumphant cig while Brooke stalks back to her cave to plot revenge with her mom, Angelina Jolie from Beowulf.

Epic stuff, this.

moondawg9

Now that we've gotten everyone's attention... Mom, Dad:

I'm a lesbian.

Molly McAleer

We still love her for getting medication for post-natal depression and incurring the mighty wrath of Tom Cruise. We love her! But yes, there's a hint of testosterone around the iliac area. Especially in those boy-shorts.

fishwife

Wait - who is the "we" that don't deem her attractive? And why the fuck do I care??? This was a waste of time.

MiseAmiee

Looks like Jezebel stopped by.

scroll_lock

@beercheck: Damn, I didn't think this all the way through before I threw my grandmother under the bus. Happy?
@moondawg9: "Amazonian" is a compliment dude! And at 5'8", I can just put on some heels; no climbing necessary. But I happen to think Brooke and I would get along just fine. I always had a much-mocked crush on Andre, from his mullet-and-denim days to his I'm Bald And I'm Not Afraid To Show It days. @Molly McAleer: Molls, your parents read Defamer? Once my dad saw my first penis joke, he's since gone into denial mode, insisting to his friends that I work for the Associated Press (no bylines, no proof to the contrary!)

Molly Friedman

Did you hear that everyone?!

Molly called me "Dude"!

So, from now on - - I'm the Dude, so that's what you call me. Or maybe His Dudeness, or Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

Thanks, Molly, for making it official!

moondawg9

Bitch, Brooke Shields is HOT. Models are all amazonian with broad shoulders, wtf are you talking about? Have you ever seen The Blue Lagoon?

Retards.

crownroyal77

anybody comparing the current version of brooke to the blue lagoon brooke has rocks in their head, because thats a man baby.
does Kathleen Turner ring a bell?

tbolt

A woman wearing boy shorts?? Hot! If this woman had short hair I would be all over it. Or should I say in it...

im-sorry-my-finger-hurts