Saturday, March 29, 2008
Caution: Joe Francis Mingling Among Us
11:01AM Seth | Joe Francis educates Chelsea Handler on the finer differences between prison and jail. Misogynist and woman-hater, however, still essentially mean the same thing. [Chelsea Lately] Great news everyone! Courtney Love is “GETTING MY FICO NUMBER FIXED! ALL THE FRAUD IS GETTING CLEANSED OFF THERE! ITS SO EXCITING.” We hope that puts the final nail in the “Courtney is crazy” coffin, folks. As you can plainly see, with her FICO number fixed and the $70 million fraud all cleansed off, she’s never been more clear of mind. [My Space] Sacha Baron Cohen has apparently taken the Bruno party to Kansas, where “[airport] security workers became concerned when [a European man] stripped down to tight shorts and began kissing, dancing and fighting in the lobby.” He was also spotted at a local church’s Easter pageant, where he “showed up in chains.” [Faded Youth] This item about Tom Cruise milling about the Star Trek movie set (don’t worry—he’s not in it) reminded us of something that had completely slipped our minds: Tom’s bearish cameo in Tropic Thunder! [The Scoop] Madonna is worried about the tonsil-hockey-partner who got away. [abcnews] Any listing of The 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time is bound to provoke debate, but Empire’s utters the words “The Littlest Hobo” in the very first sentence, instantly setting things off to a promising start. [Empire] More »
Audrina Patridge Isn’t Punking You; She Just Always Wanted An Oozing Arm Tattoo Declaring Her Love For Pork-Fried Rice
10:25AM Seth | You’ve got to wake up puh-retty early in the morning to pull a fast one past the celebrity blogging community, Ashton Kutcher. At least that’s what approximately 1200 gossip bloggers were saying today when faced with photos of The Hills supporting ho Audrina Patridge getting some tasty new ink at a Hollywood tattoo parlor. According to OK! magazine, the mystic Chinese phraseology she had etched into her forearm and then paraded, still-oozing, around high-density local paparazzi zones, translates loosely as, “The rice is fried in pork fat.” (We throw it open to our Chinese-tattoo-translating readership for a more accurate interpretation.) More »
Ledger Apparently Would Have Wanted It This Way as Posthumous Joker Hype Grows
10:05AM Defamer Hollywood | The AP’s Dave Germain has quite the feverish, myth-churning Heath Ledger tribute making the rounds today, positioning the late actor’s final film The Dark Knight as “arguably the biggest movie featuring a posthumous role in Hollywood history.” But don’t get your hopes up! The A-list parade of Ledger devotees that follows keeps his subtlety and charm as the Joker in ever-modest perspective: “It was punk, it was A Clockwork Orange, it was druggie. It was this kind of fantastic, anarchic look to him. This character who had absolutely no rules whatsoever,” said Christian Bale, who returns as rich guy Bruce Wayne and his crime-fighting alter-ego Batman. “That’s not like any Joker I’ve ever seen before, what I saw Heath do.” … More »
Craig Ferguson’s Conversation With Christian Siriano: Needs More Fierceness
9:35AM Molly Friedman | Project Runway winner Christian Siriano made an appearance on down but not out Craig Ferguson’s show last night. As the awkwardness of the fierce tranny hot mess of a 21-year old fashion wunderkind attempting to make conversation with the pinstriped Scot gradually began to fade, conversation predictably shifted towards hair. Christian has made great use of his mullet-meets-Warhol ‘do, and after lazily beginning to describe what it’s all about for the umpteenth time, silly ol’ Ferguson suddenly went into a state of hysterics at the thought of both he and Christian going platinum blonde together. Apparently, you see, Craig had tried to get producers at hipper than hip CBS to allow him to bleach his salt-and-pepper ‘do. Their response? “They were like, no way girl!” We still have absolutely no idea how to react to this claim, or to Ferguson’s Howard Dean-like scream, so we’ll just let you watch and share in our confusion. WATCH VIDEO More »
Jack Nicholson’s Very NSFW Double Nip Slip!
9:00AM Mark Graham | Stop counting calories, it’s the weekend! Indulge yourself by taking a giant bite out of our Dirt Sandwich, one that’s been carefully arranged and piled high with yummy (yet trans-fat free) toppings by Defamer’s resident sandwich artist, Molly McAleer. The ingredients in this week sandwich include: aspiring cookbook author Katie Lee Joel dishes on what it’s like to have a step-daughter just four years her junior; we learn about the drugs (!) and the kidnapping (!) that plagued the king of the tighty-whiteys, Calvin Klein; Donnie Osmond kissing, wait for it, a girl!; and, finally, a sad update on the second least talented member of the Jackson 5 (no offence to Tito, really). Enjoy! More »
Quentin Tarantino Enjoys Asian-Themed Cocktail In Los Feliz
8:10AM Seth | Attention Defamer operatives: You have been slacking on your PrivacyWatch duties! Today’s installment is verging on pitiful. We command you to wander the streets until you successfully spot a celebrity, then rush back to the nearest keyboard-equipped telecommunications device to breathlessly type up your dispatch. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put “sighting” or “PrivacyWatch” in the subject line so we don’t lose them), so that everyone can read about how you Giovanni Ribisi needs Magnum condoms. More »
Breaking: Willie Nelson’s Daughter Safe to Heckle After All
7:50AM Defamer Hollywood | After the torrent of scepticism that threatened to douse the near-instant mythology of country-fu trailblazer (and bar-brawlin’ Daughter of Willie) Paula Nelson, a shocking dispatch from Austin today indeed reveals a true hoax for the ages, one that Ashton Kutcher’s “Pop Fiction” posse could only dream of replicating: Apparently, the drunkard in the clip is Paula’s boyfriend Jeff Schwan, the stunt coordinator for Friday Night Lights. Schwan told COED that Paula and him wanted to pull a prank on their friends at the bar, so they set up a quick fracas to startle them. No foul play here.
Tom Cruise Lunches With Sumner Redstone, Calls Dibs on DreamWorks’ Parking Spots
7:42AM Defamer Hollywood | In a rumoured attempt at brokering the type of fragile, public peace not seen since the Camp David accords 30 years ago, Tom Cruise and Sumner Redstone apparently had lunch together Thursday at the Beverly Hills Hotel’s Polo Lounge. Or so report spies for The Wall Street Journal and Page Six, alluding to the star’s blockbuster drought since leaving Paramount. We didn’t believe it at first, but when you think about it, wouldn’t those soon-to-be-vacated DreamWorks offices at the ‘Mount make a decent home for Cruise’s fledgling United Artists revival? More »
Surprise Of The Year: The Olsen Twins Look Hot In Bikinis
7:28AM Molly Friedman | We’re fans of surprises here at Defamer, especially when they involve young female stars in bikinis. So when we came across these photos of Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen in their itty bitty swimsuits on Egotastic, we were admittedly shocked. Considering all those years-old anorexia rumours, coupled with endless paparazzi shots making the tiny twins look roughly 80 pounds combined, we’d expect a somewhat fear-filled reaction upon seeing MK and Ash undressed. But you know what? Hugh Hefner may not have been crazy after all when he decided the twins would be ideal candidates for his next Playboy spread. Even if the camera does add poundage, we’re seeing muscle tone and curves. Take a closer look at the full gallery, up close and personal, after the jump. More »
