· Joe Francis educates Chelsea Handler on the finer differences between prison and jail. Misogynist and woman-hater, however, still essentially mean the same thing. [Chelsea Lately]
· Great news everyone! Courtney Love is "GETTING MY FICO NUMBER FIXED! ALL THE FRAUD IS GETTING CLEANSED OFF THERE! ITS SO EXCITING." We hope that puts the final nail in the "Courtney is crazy" coffin, folks. As you can plainly see, with her FICO number fixed and the $70 million fraud all cleansed off, she's never been more clear of mind. [My Space]
· Sacha Baron Cohen has apparently taken the Bruno party to Kansas, where "[airport] security workers became concerned when [a European man] stripped down to tight shorts and began kissing, dancing and fighting in the lobby." He was also spotted at a local church's Easter pageant, where he "showed up in chains." [Faded Youth]
· This item about Tom Cruise milling about the Star Trek movie set (don't worry—he's not in it) reminded us of something that had completely slipped our minds: Tom's bearish cameo in Tropic Thunder! [The Scoop]
· Madonna is worried about the tonsil-hockey-partner who got away. [abcnews]
· Any listing of The 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time is bound to provoke debate, but Empire's utters the words "The Littlest Hobo" in the very first sentence, instantly setting things off to a promising start. [Empire]

Read More »

You've got to wake up puh-retty early in the morning to pull a fast one past the celebrity blogging community, Ashton Kutcher. At least that's what approximately 1200 gossip bloggers were saying today when faced with photos of The Hills supporting ho Audrina Patridge getting some tasty new ink at a Hollywood tattoo parlor. According to OK! magazine, the mystic Chinese phraseology she had etched into her forearm and then paraded, still-oozing, around high-density local paparazzi zones, translates loosely as, "The rice is fried in pork fat." (We throw it open to our Chinese-tattoo-translating readership for a more accurate interpretation.)

Read More »

The AP's Dave Germain has quite the feverish, myth-churning Heath Ledger tribute making the rounds today, positioning the late actor's final film The Dark Knight as "arguably the biggest movie featuring a posthumous role in Hollywood history." But don't get your hopes up! The A-list parade of Ledger devotees that follows keeps his subtlety and charm as the Joker in ever-modest perspective:

"It was punk, it was A Clockwork Orange, it was druggie. It was this kind of fantastic, anarchic look to him. This character who had absolutely no rules whatsoever," said Christian Bale, who returns as rich guy Bruce Wayne and his crime-fighting alter-ego Batman. "That's not like any Joker I've ever seen before, what I saw Heath do." ...

Read More »

Project Runway winner Christian Siriano made an appearance on down but not out Craig Ferguson's show last night. As the awkwardness of the fierce tranny hot mess of a 21-year old fashion wunderkind attempting to make conversation with the pinstriped Scot gradually began to fade, conversation predictably shifted towards hair. Christian has made great use of his mullet-meets-Warhol 'do, and after lazily beginning to describe what it's all about for the umpteenth time, silly ol' Ferguson suddenly went into a state of hysterics at the thought of both he and Christian going platinum blonde together. Apparently, you see, Craig had tried to get producers at hipper than hip CBS to allow him to bleach his salt-and-pepper 'do. Their response? "They were like, no way girl!" We still have absolutely no idea how to react to this claim, or to Ferguson's Howard Dean-like scream, so we'll just let you watch and share in our confusion.

• WATCH VIDEO

Read More »

Stop counting calories, it's the weekend! Indulge yourself by taking a giant bite out of our Dirt Sandwich, one that's been carefully arranged and piled high with yummy (yet trans-fat free) toppings by Defamer's resident sandwich artist, Molly McAleer. The ingredients in this week sandwich include: aspiring cookbook author Katie Lee Joel dishes on what it's like to have a step-daughter just four years her junior; we learn about the drugs (!) and the kidnapping (!) that plagued the king of the tighty-whiteys, Calvin Klein; Donnie Osmond kissing, wait for it, a girl!; and, finally, a sad update on the second least talented member of the Jackson 5 (no offence to Tito, really). Enjoy!

Read More »

Attention Defamer operatives: You have been slacking on your PrivacyWatch duties! Today's installment is verging on pitiful. We command you to wander the streets until you successfully spot a celebrity, then rush back to the nearest keyboard-equipped telecommunications device to breathlessly type up your dispatch. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them), so that everyone can read about how you Giovanni Ribisi needs Magnum condoms.

Read More »

After the torrent of scepticism that threatened to douse the near-instant mythology of country-fu trailblazer (and bar-brawlin' Daughter of Willie) Paula Nelson, a shocking dispatch from Austin today indeed reveals a true hoax for the ages, one that Ashton Kutcher's "Pop Fiction" posse could only dream of replicating:

Apparently, the drunkard in the clip is Paula's boyfriend Jeff Schwan, the stunt coordinator for Friday Night Lights. Schwan told COED that Paula and him wanted to pull a prank on their friends at the bar, so they set up a quick fracas to startle them. No foul play here.

Read More »

In a rumoured attempt at brokering the type of fragile, public peace not seen since the Camp David accords 30 years ago, Tom Cruise and Sumner Redstone apparently had lunch together Thursday at the Beverly Hills Hotel's Polo Lounge. Or so report spies for The Wall Street Journal and Page Six, alluding to the star's blockbuster drought since leaving Paramount. We didn't believe it at first, but when you think about it, wouldn't those soon-to-be-vacated DreamWorks offices at the 'Mount make a decent home for Cruise's fledgling United Artists revival?

Read More »

We're fans of surprises here at Defamer, especially when they involve young female stars in bikinis. So when we came across these photos of Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen in their itty bitty swimsuits on Egotastic, we were admittedly shocked. Considering all those years-old anorexia rumours, coupled with endless paparazzi shots making the tiny twins look roughly 80 pounds combined, we'd expect a somewhat fear-filled reaction upon seeing MK and Ash undressed. But you know what? Hugh Hefner may not have been crazy after all when he decided the twins would be ideal candidates for his next Playboy spread. Even if the camera does add poundage, we're seeing muscle tone and curves. Take a closer look at the full gallery, up close and personal, after the jump.

Read More »

It's official. Paris Hilton should be banned from dancing on stages, be they in Phoenix or Istanbul. At yesterday's Miss Turkey competition (yes, "Miss Turkey"), Paris was inexplicably asked to serve as a judge during the festivities. And in an equally inexplicably turn of events, one of the belly-dancing extras performing for the crowd grabbed Paris from her seat and dragged the initially demure heiress up on stage to shake her non-existent booty for the incredibly non-enthused crowd. Now, we're not in any position to pass judgment on Middle Eastern dancing moves, but we're still pretty sure that tossing your hair back and robotically shimmying your hips back and forth does not a belly dance make. Judge for yourselves after the jump.

Read More »

After receiving a lawyerly talking to and even getting within one very, very close degree of separation from our target yesterday in the John Hughes Q&A Challenge, we're convinced that A) John Hughes knows about our quest for answers, and B) he has absolutely no intention of or interest in playing ball. While our feelings are slightly tweaked by Mr. Hughes' unwavering rejection, we can't take it too personally. After all, if one of the last experiences you had with the press — recently unearthed from the Spy Magazine archives by Jeffrey Wells — labelled you as an "impossible" and "capricious bully" who was responsible for "childlike rampages through [Hollywood's] playpen," then perhaps you would refuse even the most innocent of media inquiries as well:

"[I]t's not [worth it]," one former Hughesland resident concludes. 'Because his movies ultimately aren't that good. I don't think anyone should treat people like shit and get away with it just because they're a filmmaker. It would be different," he suggests, "if he were Martin Scorsese." ...

Read More »

After trying and failing to lure tabloid favourites like Nicole Richie and K-Fed to the Broadway stage, producers on the Great White Way have apparently reverted to seeking out stars with actual acting experience. The Daily Mail reports that Katie Holmes is in final negotiations to play a major role in Arthur Miller's classic All My Sons, opposite Broadway heavy hitters Dianne Weist and John Lithgow. But will Katie's performance top one former Mrs. Cruise's naked cartwheels from exactly one decade ago?

Read More »

We'll call this Confounding Oscar Reality #259: A tipster tells us today that the documentary Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired, which painstakingly makes the case that Polanski's conviction for unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor was a travesty, has opened theatrically after leaving Sundance in January with a $1 million dollar deal and loads of acclaim. But wait — why are we hearing this from a tipster? Where is the marketing? Where are the reviews? Where is the heated discussion about the Polanski case? Thanks to Academy Award rules and a fickle distributor, that might have to wait. Follow the jump to find out why.

Read More »

Spotted frequently at George Clooney's side, little is known about the actor's comely and seemingly demure girlfriend Sarah Larson, an oversight finally corrected by Star Magazine in a blistering exposé entitled "Sarah Larson's Sin City Secrets." Described as a "former go-go dancer," the leading supermarket news source soberly goes on to report that "evidence of her wild escapades has been spilling out of Sin City like quarters from a slot machine!" Exhibit A: The 2007 photo above, from lastnightsparty.com, in which Larson is seen giving her dead-on impression of a Dune sandworm, moments after emerging from its subterranean lair to feast on a meal of sand plankton (as represented by a glossy magazine and actual sand). Think that's amazing? Wait until you see Exhibit B, in which Larson appears to levitate right off the ground—a stunning illusion achieved using nothing more than some powerful inner-thigh strength and the hips of a nearby patron. It's after the jump.

Read More »

It seems Mike Judge's dark, dystopic vision of a functionally brain-dead society, who require nothing more than watching grown men getting thwacked in the nuts to be entertained, wasn't quite so far off into our distant, idiocratic future as we might have hoped: Variety is reporting that ABC has ordered a new reality competition from the producer of Fear Factor, called Ow! My Balls! Wipe Out.

Read More »

When it comes to intertwining underage sex, loveable drug addicts and coldblooded serial killers, nobody does it better than Bret Easton Ellis. So when we heard a while back that The Informers would finally follow in the footsteps of Less Than Zero and The Rules of Attraction and make its way to the big screen, we couldn't have been more giddy. But now, IGN is reporting that Brandon Routh's turn as Jaime, the vampire-like leading man with a penchant for sucking blood, will be left on the cutting room floor; as anyone who has read the book will attest, his character was both a central figure in and a critical element of the depraved stories Ellis included in this book. The question is this: with no blood, gore, zombie fangs or Superman, will The Informers even be The Informers at all? Or will it just be Less Than Zero: The Sequel, minus the sight of a drugged up and passed out Robert Downey Jr. sprawled on the beaches of Malibu?

Read More »

Conan O'Brien was the lead guest on The Tonight Show last night, and he graciously left behind his tape measure and fabric swatches, while Jay Leno kept his passive aggressive put-downs of his scheduled usurper to a comfortable minimum. Among his entertaining anecdotes, Conan recalled the time he hosted the Emmys of two years ago—before Fox got their cracked-out claws into them, and transformed the ceremony into a one-ringed-circus presided over by Master of Women's-Footwear-Identifying-Ceremonies Ryan Seacrest. Describing the tense scene from the wings, Conan recalled an increasingly desperate stage manager giving a live play-by-play of the Charlie's Angels diva-feud that could very well have altered the course of Aaron Spelling Production cast reunion history forever.

Read More »

In L.A. this week to accept the Chrysler-sponsored Behind the Lens award for 25 years of filmmaking and shit-stirring par excellence, Spike Lee took a moment to thank the Italian producers who supported his latest film, Miracle at St. Anna, before unloading a potent spray of ammo from which wounded attendees are still recovering in intensive care units and barricaded studio offices all over town. As THR's Risky Business blog reports:

Lee continued on what he called his "little tirade," addressing the African-American industryites in the audience and telling them it didn't matter what kind of car they drove or how big their houses are, "we're way behind in film," adding "None of them look like you. The only black guy I see is the brother man at the security gate."

Read More »

Having (so far) failed to entice British power duo Posh 'n Becks into their ever-growing nest of celebrity Scientologists, Tom Cruise and Co. have apparently decided that their next best approach to conquering Great Britain is to aim a few notches lower on the celebrity totem pole. The Sun is reporting that 2007 tabloid fixture Pete Doherty is "is hooked on the barmy religion which believes humans are an exiled race from outer space" [Ed. Note - Barmy?] and that he "has bought a pile of books on the subject" ever since falling into the sack with a Scientologist DJ (presumably not Danny Masterson, but you never know). But if we were running the CoS, we'd be a wee bit nervous about inducting Doherty into the clan; despite having killed more brain cells than Ozzy Osbourne, Pete's not exactly the kind of guy one should entrust with keeping secrets.

Read More »