· The beauty of Jewno is in its attention to detail. To wit: a bagels, lox, & cream cheese phone. [YouTube]
· Prince at Coachella! [LAT]
· Today in sci-fi: First glimpses of the Starfleet Nerdcademy. Arthur C. Clarke dies in Sri Lanka at age 90. [aintitcool.com, Reuters]
· Watch Adam Carolla call Carrie Ann Inaba a "bitch" on last night's Dancing with the Stars premiere. [TMZ]
· CBS's godawful sitcoms post higher ratings than ever since returning from the strike. Seriously, though. Just the pits. That Christine one? And the Big Bang one? Ugh. [THR]
· Kirstie Alley has signed a deal with Harpo to develop "future television projects, including a possible daily strip format." We hope that just means a five-episode-per-week syndie, and not that Alley will be prancing around again on the Oprah stage in a bathing suit with any regularity. [ETOnline]

Read More »

You've probably noticed that we've been a little reticent when it's come to our 'regular' coverage of So You Think You Can Dance Australia the last week or so. As much as it pains us to admit it, since we're not fans of cultural cringe, we've been feeling that the local version of our favourite talent quest ever is, well, a bit shit.

The set looks reasonably swish, and there have been a few good moments, but generally, it feels stilted, the camera-work remains perplexingly fearful of close-ups and the dancers themselves... well, they're just not good enough!

Fortunately for our bruised hearts, we're not alone in our assessment of the show - choreographer Meryl Tankard has spoken out about Ten's great hope for 2008, and it's probably safe to say she's not a massive fan.

"It's a hideous show, I think it's just terrible,'' Tankard said. "It's good I guess that it gets people thinking about dance, but it's not really dance."

Now a world renowned choreographer, Tankard began her career as a dancer with the Australian Ballet in 1975. Her latest production, Sydney Dance Company's Inuk 2, will premiere on March 29.

Tankard also questioned what the contestants would get out of the TV series, hosted by Natalie Bassingthwaighte, and if it would help their careers.

"It's a reality show, it's not a dance show,'' she said. "They have those poor kids up all night and they get tired and they cry.

"I don't even know where those sort of dancers dance.''

Tankard rejected offers to work on the show, which has been a ratings winner for a Ten, drawing in up to 1.8m viewers.

We're inclined to agree - and we're also interested to read that Tankard was offered the chance to get involved with the show, as we've been noting particular choreographers' conspicuous absence from the SYTYCDAus galaxy.

No Tankard, no Graeme Murphy, no Gideon Obarzanek, no Dein Perry, no Stephen Page... Hell, surely they could've even coughed up to fly Wade Robson back to his hometown? If they were desperate they could've even picked up Deanne "Call On Me" Berry for a ring-in.

At least they've got Jason Gilkinson, but so many of the other choreographers have been criticised for the routines they've created (a la Sunday's capoeira "dance"), with Jason prone to telling the dancers "It's not your fault", that you have to wonder why they're still working for the show.

As for the ridiculous genre mash-ups the show seems to be fond of - "swap"? "Soul swing"?? - it's no wonder most choreographers are running a mile in the opposite direction.

More than anything, though, we think what needs to be really sorted out on the topic of SYTYCDAus is the hair and make-up:

No one needs to see that shit.

The rather amusing sook-war between Channel Nine and Channel Seven continues (while Channel Ten take advantage of their distraction to win ratings) with the news that a flashmob-esque protest outside Sunrise studios was - according to Sunrise's David "Kochie" Koch - organised by those meddling kids over at the Channel Nine house.

Protesters started chanting "Channel Seven doesn't pay" outside Sunrise HQ when Mel and Kochie were doing their trademark farewell from outside the studio just before 9am.

As the pair went to cross to Hollywood correspondent Nelson Aspen, the protesters started chanting, completely drowning out the confused-looking hosts.

After several seconds, the audio to the Seven duo was cut, and only Nelson’s voice could be heard.

Upon the camera’s return to the hosts, a security guard could be seen standing in front of the now-quietened crowd.

After an ad break, the pair appeared inside on the couch, with Mel downplaying the incident and promising the station would look into the protesters’ claims.

Kochie took it one step further however, claiming it was an ambush by rival station Channel 9’s A Current Affair about Seven’s show National Bingo Night.

He told viewers Nine had not even approached Seven for comment and that its ambush tactics were unfair.

What about National Bingo Night? We weren't even aware it was still broadcasting!

Anyway, this all led into a pretty tiresome war of words between Seven and Nine's corporate affairs types about ratings and who was copying who for whose breakfast material.

What they need to realise is that they're both shit and need to join forces in the sort of light entertainment unity not seen since Rove, Eddie McGuire and Andrew O'Keefe hosted the Boxing Day tsunami telethon.

On that day we truly believed the world had no borders.

We were going to talk about Winegums' buying a tanning bed (presumably to help sort out her skin, er, issues), but we switched sides and found ourselves laughing uproariously at the Sun's coverage instead.

Evidently Amy heard that the UN's "drug tsar" had called her "the poster girl for drug abuse", and - in typical Winegums confuzzlement - asked her mates what the UN was. Bizarre's Gordon Smart was apparently appalled by this bit of willful blankness.

We think Smart's reaction is probably a little over the top, but that's what makes it so great:

Gordon has apparently not taken into account the fact that if Winegums, in her addled state, doesn't know what the UN is, there's a good chance she might not actually also be able to turn on a computer and make her way to The Sun online, either.

You know how sometimes you go out on the weekend and see a pool of spew on a street corner, and then all of a sudden, having realised its existence, you start seeing vomit splats everywhere?

We feel something vaguely similar about the Daily Mail and their treatment of female celebrities. Last week we noted their apparent shock that Celine Dion couldn't be bothered waxing her thighs; today, we have these two clangers:

We scoured the article for any quotes utilising the term "elephant legs", but it was not to be. Thus, the Mail is apparently speaking for itself when it uses the term "elephant legs". One more time: "elephant legs". Charming, isn't it?

Next:

Yeah, shut up, you ugly hag, go and hug your money!

The Mail fail to see the irony in the juxtaposition of their continued "OMG hairy/fat/lesbian/other" campaigns and quoting SJP, no doubt in some misguided sense of sympathy, "Am I really the unsexiest women in the world? Wow! It's kind of shocking when men... It's so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger."

Any bets the men (and, sadly, probably the women) of the Mail staff have pinboards and dartboards at home covered by the photos of women who scorned them in, like, Grade Four?

Defamer has learned that executives at Sony tried to have an MSNBC story outing Will Smith as a closeted Scientologist killed. With the Smith tentpole Hancock slated for a July release, execs are clearly worried their big summer blockbuster will turn into another Mission:Impossible 3 conundrum, when Tom Cruise's anything-but-glib antics spurred petitions against the film and damaged the film's B.O. on both the domestic and international fronts. In an effort to prevent a similar shitshow come July, our source claims Sony forced a denial statement out of Smith after MSNBC stuck by their original story:

"After word got out that Will was a secret Scientologist, reps from Sony [the studio behind Hancock] completely flipped out, and asked that the online exclusive be taken down immediately. After being refused, Sony forced Smith to speak out and release a denial statement."

But how did his friends in the Church take the news? Find out after the jump.

Read More »

We have disappointing news, as Abraham Karpen (the adorable mensch plucked out of Hasidic anonymity and cast opposite Natalie Portman--one of the most famous, talented, and beautiful Jewesses on the planet!) has been ordered to stop filming on a segment of New York, I Love You by Hasidic elders who clearly want to ruin his LIFE FOREVER!!! (*Sound of scampering down a hallway and a bedroom door slamming shut.*) [ABC News]

Read More »

The unrepentant bad boy we always knew was lurking inside Shia LeBeouf finally broke out for good today when, as TMZ reports, the actor failed to appear at a hearing for a pending unlawful smoking citation from Feb. 18. LeBeouf, whose previous, equally dire legal woes over trespassing at Walgreen's ended in dropped charges last December, didn't get off as easy this time; after neither LeBeouf nor his lawyer appeared for an 8:30 a.m. court date, a judge reportedly issued a $1,000 bench warrant for the young Transformers star's arrest. Alas, "unlawful smoking" does not connote the kinds of sordid techniques of our favourite underground smoking fetish videos. LeBeouf merely stood too close to the front door of a Burbank gift store with a lit cigarette -- merely a gateway misdemeanor, we're sure, to the inevitable gas station, aeroplane and hospital puffery we know is on the way. [TMZ]

Read More »

If you're the average superstar, surrounding yourself with a dream-team of handlers is probably the single most important decision you'll make: Any weak link in the commission-claiming chain can result in the kinds of career missteps that result in disastrous tumbles down the Hollywood food chain, where you'll soon find yourself groveling for any elephant-voicing breadcrumbs the studios are still willing to toss your way. (Needless to say, with plenty of strings attached). Vince Vaughn knows this all too well, and he's reportedly disposed of his entire team in one phoned-in management massacre. From the Deadline Hollywood Daily exclusive:

Read More »

Yet another cache of still images from the alleged Kristin Davis sex tape (or perhaps it's just a dirty flipbook?) have emerged, sure to be pored over by a click-happy nation of Sex and the City devotees determined to know for certain whether or not the series's good-girl archetype was capable of performing unspeakably naughty things on camera. It's yet another example of the sort of unfolding visual story best told in the comic book format we first formulated for Paris Hilton's Super Bowl party humiliation. Without further ado, then, we offer six more action-packed panels to our Defamer Comics library, placing our unidentified heroine--we were careful not to jump to any hasty conclusions--in a sexy New Wave romance of her own. And though much thought was put into speech-bubble placement, it's still mildly NSFW, and it's after the jump:

Read More »

Donald Trump is reportedly "appalled" that an uninvited promotional model crashed his Super Bowl party wearing nothing but his logo painted on her body. But we're confused; according to the event reps, they "hire[d] three promotional models, all over the age of 21 to be opaquely painted with logos for this event." So presumably, paint-adorned "waitresses" were par for the course at Trump's oh-so-classy liquor-sponsored party. So was it the fact that the crasher in question, one Chanell Elaine Hallett, was a youthful 17 years old, or is it her scandalous MySpace photo gallery that has Trump flustered? Photos from Miss Hallett's Ashley Alexandre Dupré-esque personal page follow after the jump.

Read More »

After years of studios and exhibitors fighting like cats and dogs about everything from release windows to the ideal temperature for popcorn butter, there's a certain Zen calm in the détente symbolized by Regal Cinemas' announcement that it would begin running red-band trailers on its more than 6,000 screens nationwide. The restricted previews, featuring racier language and sexual content than their G-rated greenband counterparts, have historically been banished to the Web since 2000, when the FCC cracked down on studios it accused of marketing sex and violence to kids. Digital technology makes pre-programming easier these days, however, thus better targeting new releases and diminishing the likelihood of such hilarious trailer mishaps like those downplayed by Universal marketing boss Adam Fogelson:

"It would not be appropriate for a red band trailer for a movie like American Pie to run in front of Schindler's List. We all want to be smart and careful about the use of red band trailers, working closely with our partners in exhibition. We don't want moviegoers seeing material that is inconsistent with the movies they are going to see."

Read More »

After hearing that Billion Dollar Girl Miley Cyrus has added yet another name to her list of identities, we had to wonder how all this name-changing business is supposed to help an already-famous star's career. Cyrus, who was given the flashy title Destiny Hope Cyrus at birth, was nicknamed Smiley Miley as a kid by her achy breaky dad Billy and, guess what, it stuck. Now, AOL is reporting that Cyrus has officially changed her name to Miley Ray Cyrus, just like dad Billy Ray. But how have the most memorable mid-career name games fared when it comes to a celebrity's career? We took a look at a few of the most famous quick switches, and discovered it takes more than a flashy press announcement (and even a flashy new symbol) to inject a falling star with newfound fame...

Read More »

· One Tree Hill celebrates its 100th episode with a very special one in which Chad Michael Murray slips into autopilot while secretly fantasizing to himself about how nice it would be to break free of The CW ghetto for the feature movie career he so richly deserves. [Variety]
· Peter Berg signs on to direct Dune for Paramount, presumably righting whatever wrongs were committed against the sacred source material by David Lynch's Sting-in-a-licorice-thong version. [Variety]
· McLovin works! The voice talents of Christopher Mintz-Plasse, along with Superbad buddy and child insult comic Jonah Hill, will be employed to thrilling effect in Dreamworks's computer-animated fantasy, How to Train Your Dragon. [THR]

Read More »

Details regarding director Anthony Minghella's sudden death early this morning are finally emerging, with the official cause of death now listed as a brain hemorrhage, which may have been a result of surgery he had several days ago to remove a growth in his neck. Harvey Weinstein, a longtime collaborator of Minghella's who distributed all five of his theatrical features in the States (ultimately handling his final film, No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, as a TV pilot with HBO and the BBC), issued a poignant remembrance to Variety:

Read More »

Rumors have been swirling lately that the Church of Scientology is in the process of mounting a full-on assault on decades of accumulated honky-thetans by aggressively courting African-American celebrities and celebrity couples on the down-low. An attempt at confirmation by the NY Daily News, however, has resulted in a number of statements from personalities of colour denying that they may have slipped into the Church's seductive clutches:

Read More »

Between a needles-and-drugs-heavy induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the upcoming release of a hotly buzzed new album touched by Timbahands, cooch-bearing prizefighter Madonna has had a run lately of the sort of positive, lightly controversial publicity that has defined her career from its jelly-bracelet-adorned nascency. But now comes another wave of unwelcome and unorchestrated chatter from the British tabloid press, saying the singer and her filmmaker husband of seven years Guy Ritchie have finally agreed to go their separate ways:

Read More »

It's startling to us that after the last iteration of ABC's perennial romance sweepstakes--in which Hunkiest Bachelor of Them All Brad Womack cruelly withheld a suspiciously oversized engagement ring from last-standing-soulmate Deanna, choosing instead to slip the sparkling keepsake over his own member as a gesture of narcissistic fidelity--that producers of The Bachelor would find another 25 women desperate, lonesome, and fame-whorey enough to subject themselves to similar, nationally televised humiliation.

Read More »

Not to be outdone by the swift, shaky-cam destruction of its transcontinental nemeses in Cloverfield, Los Angeles is getting its own taste of catastrophe in the latest viral sensation to hit YouTube. At least we think it's L.A.; some have suggested that Case 1017 -- the grainy home video of HazMat-suited CDC officials and semi-automatic weapons fire that has attracted 1.1 million views since Saturday -- is a tease for Cloverfield 2 or M. Night Shyamalan's forthcoming Philly disaster epic The Happening. Follow the jump, however, for what turns out to be a much simpler explanation.

Read More »

With Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe working in the service of a screenplay by William Monahan (The Departed), the CIA-vs.-terrorist thriller Body of Lies is roughly what you get when Warner Bros. throws a platinum-plated kitchen sink at Ridley Scott's Oscar curse. Except rough is only the half of it, according to a script review published Monday:

Read More »

The internets were flooded yesterday with screen caps featuring what may or may not be Sex And The City's resident sweetheart/prude giving one very large member a very thorough (and NSFW) blow job using a very long tongue. Naturally, Kristin Davis went into denial mode, claiming the tape was a fake, and even suggesting that the image had been photo-shopped to add in that innocent sparkle in her eyes, the incredibly unique hairline (and hair color), and perfectly manicured eyebrows. After the jump, we provide the photos in question, and make our argument that this is indeed the real Charlotte York-Goldenblatt (some images NSFW), denials or not:

Read More »