March 18, 2008

Breaking: Director Anthony Minghella Dead at 54

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 11:36 PM on March 18, 2008

Sad news from London this morning reveals that Anthony Minghella, who in 1996 won an Oscar for directing The English Patient, has passed away. He was 54. Minghella's death was confirmed this morning by his agent Judy Daish; no further details on the cause are currently available.

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KISS Press Conference Hell

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 4:29 PM on March 18, 2008

genesimmonssss.jpgDefamer Australia operative Elmo Keep - she of "Stop interrupting me, Gene Simmons" fame - last week came face to face with her interview nemesis and his pack of make-up lovin' rock goons at a KISS press conference held before the band appeared at the weekend's Grand Prix celebrations.

How did it go?

.. arrive at Crown Towers. Seeing the inside of places like this is not something that would ever normally happen to me. Part casino, part Dune interiors set, there are pillars and split spiral stairways and black marble floors lit from beneath somehow and bellhops in hats. And milling incongruously in amongst all this are all the media parasites waiting for KISS.

Let me just say here, that if you look even partially like you are meant to be there, you can just walk right into one of these things. No one looked at me, asked who I was or wanted to see my credentials. Lucky I didn't have a gun.

Because I would have shot myself.

As ever, you can read the entire tale over at FasterLouder.

Jive Schmive, We're Just Glad To Learn The So You Think You Can Dance Kids Are A Fruity Bunch

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 3:25 PM on March 18, 2008

hookups.jpgWhen we saw the picture on your left pop up on the news.com.au front page, we put two and two together and concluded JD and Rhys from So You Think You Can Dance were cock-bonding in the few precious and no doubt savoured moments they're not learning how to bust out Emotional Hip Hop or Dramatic Jazz Waltz (or whatever weird style of choreography we've never actually heard of that they've unluckily pulled out from the Magical Hat Of Dance Moves for the week).

Sadly, it seems News Ltd's choice of photo is not indicative of the saucy couplings going on behind the scenes, and JD and Rhys are simply chums (FOR NOW), but the article itself does reveal a couple of interesting things when it comes to the sex lives of contestants.

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Warning: If You Talk Too Loudly During Her Boyfriend's Gig, Kate Nash Will Not Be Afraid To Choke A Bitch

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 1:32 PM on March 18, 2008

katenash.jpgKate Nash, Brit Award winning ladysinger of 'Foundations' fame, appears to be rather protective of her boyfriend, Ryan Jarman from The Cribs. During a recent show at SXSW, Kate snapped when a bunch of suits, no doubt sent by The Man to totally ruin the punk vibe of the night, talked loudly during her fellow's set.

After a great SXSW show, Kate revealed: “I’ve just been hanging out with Ryan and watched The Cribs. There has been lots of sun and beer. He gets angry but I do too. I threw some beer over some of the crowd at The Cribs gig over here the other day.

“I thought it was going to be amazing – but I got there and the band were amazing but the crowd were s**t. It was just industry w*****s with their clipboards.

“I threw a beer and it went over all of these industry people and they got upset.

“And I was like, ‘Have you never had beer thrown over you at a gig before? It’s a Cribs gig.’ Some of my friends have broken bones at gigs.

Ha! You sure showed 'em, Kate! Keep it real! Sex Pistols forever! Take your clipboards and your calculators and your hype generating and your beerless shirts and your unplastered limbs and piss off home, Industry Wankers TM! Until Kate needs you to promote her particular cutesy brand of female singer-songwriter schtick, and then come back! And help sell the records! Don't hate the playa, hate the game! Etc!

Also, are we alone in thinking she looks like an extra from Heartbeat? You know, with an added healthy dollop of fucking hardcore attitude and bone-breaking beer flinging street cred and stuff...

Attention George Clooney: News Ltd Does Not Approve Of Your Choice Of Girlfriend

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 1:13 PM on March 18, 2008

You know, it's not like we look to the News Ltd stable as our barometer of what's good and right in the world, but we would assume that some, if not most people working there, like to think that a good relationship is based on things like chemistry, mutual interests, understanding and attraction - right?

Not so, if you take their handling of George Clooney's relationship with model girlfriend Sarah Larson as evidence:

Picture 12.png

Yes, in the piece entitled "Clooney's girlfriend is just flat-out", evidently "Sarah Larson is one of the most envied woman on Earth - but probably not for her chest measurements."

Who woulda thunk it, eh? A woman with a less-than-generous bust measurement just might snare an eligible bachelor like Clooney on the strength of her personal character as well as her nungas! Strike us pink!

When You Can No Longer Depend On Shannon Noll Delivering A Mind-Blowing Live Performance Everytime, Life Just Doesn't Seem Worth Living

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 12:26 PM on March 18, 2008

nolllllsy.jpgCondo's favourite whore-dabbling rocker son Shannon 'Nollsy' Noll has offered an apology to punters who suffered through his "emotional and exhausted" (that's the official term for celebrity off-chops behaviour, right?) appearance on stage during the CMC Rocks The Snowys concert Saturday night. After Confidential were informed by a displeased gig attendee that Shannon's time in front of the microphone was "so appallingly bad it wasn't funny", Shannon Noll has admitted his mistake and begged for forgiveness, pledging to seek help for shit showmanship.

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Girls Aloud's Lesbian Shocker!

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 9:38 AM on March 18, 2008

aloudWENN1603_468x359.jpgWell, it's not really lesbotic, nor is it really shocking, we've just always wanted to use that headline (see also perennial favourite, "My Drug Hell") and this was as good a chance as we'd ever get.

Evidently Sarah Harding and Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud, snapped heading home after a large night, really enjoy each other's company, if the following coverage from the Mail is anything to go by:

Along with bandmate Cheryl Cole, the pair had attended Kimberley Walsh's sister's 21st birthday party in Mayfair.

However after the celebrations Sarah and Nicola were driven away laughing and holding each other in a warm embrace.

A "warm embrace"? My, it's getting hot in here! Is it just us, or is the Mail harbouring some secret Harlequin Mills & Boon Black Label fantasies about these two? Next thing you know they'll be caressing each others' secret jewels and crying out in pleasure, and all those other things that people in bodice-rippers seem to do.

Girls Aloud lesbian fanfic: coming soon to a major tabloid near you!

Bindi Irwin Hopes Australian Children Want To Wear Her Beautiful Skin... Sorry, Clothes

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 9:22 AM on March 18, 2008

bindi.jpgDespite what you may glean from her perma-enthused persona, Bindi Irwin is not actually a cyborg child from planet Goblin just like the rest of us: she gets nervous when her pet project is laid on the line for the children of Australia to judge (i.e. with their parents' money).

That's right, Bindi's new Bindi Wear International range of branded clothing debuts at Myer stores this week, and the crimping iron fan is hanging out to see how her range of sensible slacks goes down with the little'uns.

While the label was officially launched at the Magic clothing fair in the US in August, Australia is the first country where the clothes for babies and girls and boys up to 12 will go on sale.

"I am so excited to have my own range, I can't wait to see other kids wearing it," Bindi, 9, said.

In its first real test before it hits stores, two fashion-loving Sydney sisters put the range of cool and khaki clothes to the test.

Avid Bindi fan Hannah Stevenson, 5, loved that there was more than khaki in this collection, with a pink-dappled camouflage dress with front bow and ruffled skirt one of her top choices.

While it was a pretty piece, it was in a canvas material and was tough enough to endure jumping off the garden fence at her Croydon home, one of her favourite activities.

Canvas! Great! Isn't that the childrenswear equivalent of, dunno, a kero bath for nanna? Like, sure, kids' clothes need to be durable, but canvas? What next, chainmail?

Here you go, little Johnny, wrap yourself up in this nice, snuggly Kevlar dressing gown! The label says it's stingray-proof!

$52.3Million Not Enough To Stop Heather Mills' Ranting

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 9:08 AM on March 18, 2008

Heather.jpgWell, the day that seemingly would never come has arrived: Paul McCartney and Heather Mills have reached a divorce settlement!

After spending aaages in the courts duking out the terms of their split, the Beatle and his activist ex-wife agreed on a £24.3million settlement (apparently Mills sought £125million and McCartney offered £15.8million), which is roughly AUD$52.3million, but that didn't stop Mills from marching out of court and holding an impromptu press conference on the steps outside.

Launching a non-stop stream of criticism, Ms Mills raged against Sir Paul, the judge and McCartney's lawyer Fiona Shackleton.

She said: “Fiona Shackleton has very sadly handled this case in the worst manner you could ever imagine. She has called me many, many names before meeting me when I was in a wheelchair.”

Ms Mills also launched an angry outburst against her husband's victory on where their daughter would live and how much she would get each year.

“Beatrice gets £35,000 a year. She is meant to travel B-class when her father travels A-class.

“Paul has always wanted Beatrice to go to a state school. He insisted that he wanted us to move to that area [East Sussex] - £35,000 includes. £17,000 for school fees.”

“He tried to get our daughter with joint residency, even though we had gone 50-50. In that way he has got everything he wanted, but that's what powerful people get.”

Ms Mills complained about the judge's assessment of her husband's wealth.

“He also said that Paul is only worth £400 million. Everyone knows that he has been worth £800 million for the last 15 years.

"Paul has always wanted it public because he wants to look like generous Sir Paul."

Blah, blah, blah... You know, for ages we tried to support Mills, tried not to buy into the grossly misogynist muckraking the UK tabloids took part in, tried to see her as something other than the gold-digger the press was so keen to paint her as - but she was just as keen to, presumably, reveal the deeply unpleasant nature of her personality. Surely the mega-bucks pay-out means she could relax into full-time parenting, but no, Mills plans to shack Beatrice up with a nanny ASAP.

And given the terms of the divorce settlement, we'll never know if Sir Paul really was a knob to her, as she claims, but you know what? We hope we never have to hear from or of her again.

YouTube Clip Of The Day

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 9:03 AM on March 18, 2008

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHA oh man, some things do not age well, do they?

We don't recall Indecent Obsession's "Say Goodbye" being so explosive and in your face, but there you go. We can't believe how young the band look!

Spot The Seacrest 2.0 Differences

Posted by Seth at 8:45 AM on March 18, 2008

There's more than just a sullen face--or is that a come-hither stare?--separating the Ryan Seacrest you know and love from the one looking back at you on the cover of the current Details. In the tradition of everyone's favourite happy hour touch-screen time-killer, we now invite you to Spot the Six Enhanced Differences in the above two photos of the beloved showbiz ubiquity. Feel free to leave your guesses in the comments. The answers (four easy and two for expert competitors only) are after the jump:

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Exclusive: 'Newsday' Movie Section Offed in St. Patrick's Day Massacre

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 8:31 AM on March 18, 2008

Word floating around Defamer HQ has Newsday movie editor Pat Wiedenkeller and veteran critics Jan Stuart and Gene Seymour accepting buyouts that would end their tenures at the Tribune-owned tabloid effective March 28. The critics reportedly accepted their packages by a deadline last Friday; Wiedenkeller has been on the way out since earlier this month. It's no golden handshake, either, with one source telling Defamer the buyout deals topped out around 33 weeks salary, a fraction of remaining vacation days and less than a year of benefits.

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Posted by Molly Friedman at 8:30 AM on March 18, 2008

Sadly, our cinematic dreams of Britney Spears and Mel Gibson making movie magic together will remain dreams for now. The odd couple's meeting in LA over the weekend was neither a business meeting nor a date, according to a People source: "There are no expectations, there is no agenda. It's simply an act of human kindness - one neighbour reaching out to the other." Maybe it's just us, but we're not exactly sure Britney needs a life counselor who's an alleged neo-Nazi, let alone one who's fond of calling lady cops Sugar Tits. Then again, he does have two years of sobriety under his belt. That and he's surely got it a bit more together than Michael Lohan. We guess you gotta take what you can get in these trouble-laden times. [People]

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This St. Patrick's Day, Pray You're Lucky Enough Not To Run Into Rosie O'Donnell

Posted by Seth at 8:25 AM on March 18, 2008

We were going to slap together our own St. Patrick's Day e-card for you, but then we stumbled upon the one above from Rosie O'Donnell's Flickr stream. In it, O'Donnell affects her best impression of Peiste, Ireland's fearsome lough monster, who, unlike the relatively benign Nessie, won't hesitate to take you whole into her powerful jaws, crunching hungrily on your bones in her insatiable quest for warm, nourishing human flesh. Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!

Warning: Do Not Put Lindsay Lohan In The Same Room With Paris Hilton Or Onions

Posted by Molly Friedman at 8:10 AM on March 18, 2008

While she hasn't been caught with coke pants or knives (yet), budding leggings designer Lindsay Lohan has been caught throwing two tantrums back to back. Whether or not the allegations are as suspect as those made against fellow ex-rehabber and possible anger management candidate Owen Wilson remains to be seen, but the reasons behind Lohan's hissy fits are classic entries in the long history of diva freakouts. So what and who has driven Lindsay off the wall recently? Onions, and one of her best frenemies, Paris Hilton:

"[Lindsay] arrived at the Scandinavian Style Mansion soiree [and] reportedly threw a 'hissy fit' after seeing 'Paris Hilton Handbags' printed on the red carpet sponsor board. 'We were never told that Paris was part of the event,' [her rep] tells E! News. 'Nor did we know there was a liquor sponsor. She wouldn't have participated.'"

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Britney's First 'HIMYM' Set Photo Shows Her Looking More Normal Than We've Seen In Years

Posted by Molly Friedman at 7:47 AM on March 18, 2008

We have to admit, when we first heard that Britney Spears would guest star on the struggling How I Met Your Mother, we had our doubts. Would she really find enough sanity-laced moments during the day to play a Working Girl? Had all the gurney trips and 5150s left her sharp enough to memorize lines and interact with actual actors? Would the length of time required to remove all umbrellas from the Fox lot overlap with her scheduled appearance? But apparently our (and Neil Patrick Harris') worries were for naught. Britney has officially shown up, donned her costume, and put her acting skills to the test. Click through for the first shot taken of Brit playing secretary alongside fellow guest star Sarah Chalke:

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Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 7:17 AM on March 18, 2008

While we stand by our casting choices for the inevitable movie version of the Eliot Spitzer debacle, Hollywood Reporter columnist Ray Richmond has his own bright ideas. Lots of them, in fact: he's got a feature starring Kevin Spacey as the disgraced New York governor; a network TV movie featuring Meg Ryan as Silda Wall Spitzer; a Comedy Central film with Sarah Silverman as high-priced hooker "Kristen"; and the one we're personally rooting for, a BET biopic of lieutenant governor David Paterson starring LeVar Burton. "Synopsis: A film about The Man Who Would Be Governor," Richmond writes, "one that embodies the slogan, 'When life hands you a New York governorship, make New York governorship-ade.' " Throw in Burton's stylish Geordi La Forge eyewear from Star Trek: The Next Generation for the legally blind governor, and we'll even donate our next month's pay to the production budget. At least that should cover the props. [Past Deadline]

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Celebutard Refugees Set Adrift With Banning Of Corporate Beach Houses

Posted by Seth at 6:57 AM on March 18, 2008

Kicking back at a corporate summer rental has quickly become a rite of passage for the Hollywood scenewhore set, with Malibu hot spots like the Polaroid Beach House leaving the doors to their 24-hour party open to any celebutards and hanger-entourages who happen to pop by. In exchange, guests must agree to be photographed interacting with a wide variety of branded goods--from snack foods to gadgets to indestructible prophylactics--by the flock of seagull-displacing paparazzi lurking outside. Not surprisingly, neighbours quickly grew weary of the sound of Paris Hilton teetering on a deck table at 4 a.m. screaming, "Playboy Energy Drink and Doritos® Spicy Sweet Chili Chips are hot!" A Malibu city ordinance has now banned such further promotional whorehousing from reoccurring in the summer of '08:

"Imagine parties every night until 4 in the morning when you're trying to sleep just eight feet away in the house next door," said Councilman Andy Stern, who sponsored the new ordinance.

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Scientologists Recruit Will Smith In Effort To Break Into Enturbulated Urban Markets

Posted by Molly Friedman at 6:15 AM on March 18, 2008

Earlier this month we discussed whether or not Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' double date with Forest Whitaker and his wife Keisha was less about baby talk and more about Xenu talk. And while we didn't rush to the race card, MSNBC is reporting that TomKat and the CoS are intent on luring more African-American stars onto the Knights of Hubbard bowling team:

"Will is definitely in the process of becoming a member, 'He's been getting more and more involved. And it isn't just him, it's definitely Jada, too. It's that as he becomes more involved, you'd think he'd sort of help fly the flag with Tom (Cruise), who seems to only get a bad rap for it, while Will does this and comes through just fine.'"
However, Will, Jada and Forest aren't the only stars benefiting from Scientology's new affirmative action plan.

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Britney Spears And Mel Gibson Team Up To Produce Great Art (Either That Or Babies)

Posted by Molly Friedman at 4:28 AM on March 18, 2008


When it comes to summoning two powerful talents together into a pitch room with the hopes of making celluloid magic, one would have to be on some seriously strong behind-the-counter cold medicine (you know, the kind they make you sign for) to even dream of putting Britney Spears and Mel Gibson together in lights. However, cameras caught the two seemingly non-connected stars having a business meeting together in Malibu over the weekend. Spears, who's recently updated her weave to a state of barely secure chocolate pieces, arrived "conservatively" dressed in a tight green turtleneck and tighter jeans and was refreshingly mellow for the cameras; no trace of an English accent or improvised joke (even after ducking into the wrong restaurant). But Mel, ever the charmer, hustled through the backdoor.

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In The World Of 'Pop Fiction,' Nothing Eva Longoria-Related Is What It Seems

Posted by Seth at 3:57 AM on March 18, 2008

If you've yet to catch an episode of E!'s Pap Smear Pop Fiction, yet another stroke of punking genius from ascending media tycoon and noted cougar-hunter Ashton Kutcher, we've included a clip above. In it, Eva Longoria, for whom fame has quickly turned into a serious drag (please, God, just return her to a life of anonymity, where she can carry out her various, regular-person functions in peace!), and a think-tank consisting of Kutcher and his staff of ingratiating "producers" concoct a deliciously devious plan to "rekindle the non-relationship" with Longoria's longtime platonic friend, Mario Lopez.

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DUI Reaper Swings Scythe At Thomas Jane

Posted by Seth at 3:26 AM on March 18, 2008

It brings us no pleasure to inform you that Thomas Jane, star of the non-Dolph Lundgrenian version of The Punisher and husband of Patricia Arquette, was arrested early this morning for driving under the influence of a social lubricant. The details, as we know them so far:

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This Week in Nudity Trends: Argento Gets Dressed, Journo Launches Boner Hunt

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 3:11 AM on March 18, 2008

We'll always have New Rose Hotel. And The Last Mistress. And her latest film, Boarding Gate, and pretty much all of her other output with the exception of xXx. Alas, intrepid siren Asia Argento says she is giving up screen nudity lest that reputation precede that of her more, well, natural dramatic gifts:

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Giuliana DePandi Goes AWOL From E!, Returns Sans Wedding Ring

Posted by Molly Friedman at 2:51 AM on March 18, 2008

Ah, the magic of an E!-televised marriage. With all those millions thousands spent, viewers tuning in, and smile-forcing cameras around, how could the union of two C-list celebs like Giuliana DePandi and original Apprentice lackey Bill Rancic possibly go wrong? Giuliana's recent ring-less appearances on air makes her the latest "celebrity" under investigation by wedding ring detectors, leading some to speculate that the two have each booked a coach ticket direct to Splitsville:

"Days since Giuliana went mysteriously missing from an E! News taping, she has filmed three new E! News episodes, ring-less."

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Box Office: Horton Hears Talk Of A Sequel

Posted by Seth at 2:30 AM on March 18, 2008

In honour of St. Patrick's day, we invite you to revisit the Crichton Leprechaun, peruse the screensavers and wallpapers available for download at colinfarrell.org, and dive into that bowl of cornflakes before the green beer turns them soggy. And while you're at it, have some box office numbers for good luck:

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'Hounddog' Conveniently Distilled Down to Most Watchable Three Minutes

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 2:10 AM on March 18, 2008

Perhaps only proving the adage that the harder you try, the dumber you look, the recently released trailer to rape-prevention spokesteen Dakota Fanning's soon-to-be-released Hounddog gathers three minutes of short-eyed, Southern-fried auteurist poetry in one skeevy bundle for your viewing pleasure.

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Defamer US Welcomes Stu VanAirsdale As The Newest Member Of Our Editorial Team

Posted by Mark Graham at 1:55 AM on March 18, 2008

We'd love to begin this lovely Monday morning not by pounding a pitcher full of green beer (that will follow in a few minutes), but rather by introducing the newest member of the Defamer editorial team. We are thrilled to announce that S.T. VanAirsdale is joining our ranks in the position of Senior Editor, where he will be helping us round out our coverage of the movie industry that we all love and loathe in equal measure. Stu is a both a well-respected and well-heeled veteran of the world of film criticism and industry analysis, having his work published by Vanity Fair, The New York Times, New York Magazine and, of course, the The Reeler. We are tremendously excited to have both his biting wit and extensive experience on the team, and we are confident that you will quickly grow to love him as much as we do. So, with that, everyone please give a warm welcome to Stu! Now, on with the show...

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