Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Swiftest Response To A Celebrity Lawsuit We’ve Ever Seen
5:03PM Clem Bastow | You may have read that Lisa Marie Presley is suing The Daily Mail for calling her “fat” (having “gained weight just like her father Elvis”, evidently) when she is, in fact, pregnant.
Fair enough, we thought, pregnancy is one aspect of the celebrity-obsessed realm that we really wish would disappear from our world, what with “baby bumps” and “post-baby weight” and so on.
However, we were somewhat amused to see how quickly the Mail have changed their tune, and wonder whether this article was a part of the settlement:
Lisa Marie Presley looked pregnant and proud as she unveiled her budding baby bump in Los Angeles.
The daughter of rock icon Elvis stepped out with third husband, musician and producer Michael Lockwood in Beverly Hills, following confirmation that she is pregnant with her third child.
Dressed in a fashionable print maxi dress, chunky platform sandals, and large hoop earrings Lisa Marie looked radiant and every inch the happy mother-to-be.
Radiant! Fashionable! Proud! That’s a conspicuous change from “packing on the pounds”.
We’d be pleased if it wasn’t so obviously a tail-between-legs show of Doing The Right Thing™. Although, we’re not sure about crossing those British tabloids, Lisa Marie – just ask Kerry Katona. It could be much, much worse. More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: It’s Hard Rubbish Night* At Winegums’!
4:38PM Clem Bastow | We saw a brilliant photography exhibition many moons ago, which basically involved rubbish retrieved from celebrities’ bins, laid out against a white background like specimens, and snapped. We remember quite vividly that Madonna’s bin contained both laxatives and heart-shaped lollipops.
Anyway, if someone is keen on reviving this artform, now’s the time to do it if you live anywhere near Amy Winehouse’s stately abode, as evidently the rubbish is piling up just like the wings Blake pulls off flies.
If the state of one’s home is any indicator of the state of one’s life – this huge pile of junk outside singer Amy Winehouse’s Camden home reveals hers is currently a load of rubbish.
Boxes of junk, broken bits of furniture and a pile of dumped clothes were seen outside the Rehab singer’s home today.
A pile of dumped clothes!!
Attention London-based Defamer pals, please make your way to Camden post haste and pick up a shipment of Winegums’ ex-wardrobe.
If we’re lucky there might be some grody ballet flats and a bright red bra in there!
* NB Defamer Australia’s Editor leads us to believe that in other states “hard rubbish” night is known as “kerbside clean-up”. Just so you know we’re not state-centric or nothing… More » 
We’re Guessing A Little Gold Man Will Not Fill That Empty Table Setting At The Ledger Household
9:41AM Clem Bastow | Now that The Dark Knight is close to our screens, word is circulating amongst those excitable buff types that Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker could earn him a posthumous Oscar nomination in next year’s awards.
From what we’ve seen, it looks like an amazing performance, and posthumous Oscars have been awarded in the past (beginning with Sidney Howard in 1939 for his Gone With The Wind screenplay) – what we have a problem with is the way the News Ltd champs have chosen to discuss the story:
Hollywood star Heath Ledger’s immediate family might be cheered to know that there is some good news doing the rounds about their late son.
The word out of Tinseltown that the actor is being considered for a posthumous Oscar for his as-yet-unseen work as the Joker in The Dark Knight.
You know, call us crazy, but we’re guessing what would really cheer up the Ledger clan would be to, you know, not have to have a “late” son in the first place?
Just a feeling we have. More » 
“We’ve Seen Deni Act Like A Bitch Too!” Say Ricki-Lee Wedding Attendees
9:40AM Jess McGuire | After yesterday’s shocking revelation regarding Deni Hines’ cheerleader hating ways at the recent NBL grand final, it looks as though the flood gates have opened when it comes to anti-Hines tales, with anyone who has ever witnessed Deni even glancing at something in a less than beatific way stepping up to the gossip plate and screaming “I hath spied her witchery with thine own eyes!” to any showbiz reporter with a dictaphone within a five kilometer radius.
Today the Daily Telegraph has published the sorry tale of a bitter wedding singer almost ruining the happy day of Australia’s very own Beyonce, Ms Ricki-Lee Coutler, and her beloved Jamie Babbington.
Guests at Coulter’s nuptials on the Gold Coast in September claim Hines stopped the band in order to fast-track her own performance after proceedings slipped slightly behind time.
The sometime jazz crooner’s manager Karen-Lee Goody, who also managed Coulter at the time, was allegedly overheard warning a venue staffer that if Hines was not on stage within minutes she would leave.
More » 
World’s Press Shocked To Discover Women Actually Have Body Hair
9:30AM Clem Bastow | There’s nothing that riles us up more than when the press has a field day over a woman who chooses not to maintain her body hair to the same pre-pubescent standards as every other starlet (remember the Julia Roberts underarm fiasco?), and the latest victim in the war against full womanhood is Celine Dion.
A “Celebrity Blogger” who shall not be named was the first to kick the “story” off, which we more or less expect given the quality nature of his blog, but we were dismayed to see that ‘proper’ news outlets followed on. To wit, the Daily Mail:
Her face had been carefully made up, nails polished and outfit primped just so, but Celine Dion forgot one important thing before performing in Toyko over the weekend.
It appeared the My Heart Will Go On singer had forgotten to wax her legs, with severe back lighting revealing their rather hairy state as she strutted around the stage.
But despite the grooming oversight, she succeeded in wowing the crowd with a typically dazzling performance.
New York’s Daily News got in on the beauty editor witch hunt, too.
What?! She FORGOT TO WAX HER LEGS? We’re surprised there weren’t mass walk-outs and demands for refunds! Oh but, hold on, it’s okay – even though she was a hairy hosebeast, she still managed to sing well. Lucky for her…
Unwaxed legs, what a complete affront to everyone’s senses.
Perhaps these news dudes would like to book in for an upper-thigh wax, and then see whether they still feel that Dion “forgot” to carry out what they seem to be implying is a basic necessity, or whether they’d rather stick pencils in their eardrums than slather themselves in hot wax before yanking out their body hair. More » 
Missing: One Celebrity Belly Button And One Sense Of Inhibition
9:15AM Molly Friedman | It’s no longer shocking to see a celebrity waltzing around the beach post-op (Courtney Love, anyone?) but, thankfully, most celebs remember to remove their bandages before donning their itsy bitsys. But what if said bandages are there for life? And in the form of their own flesh? Well, if they belong to surgery-happy Patricia Heaton, we will all have the pleasure of viewing them! In light of recent photos showing Ray Romano’s television wife in her bikini and missing one bellybutton, the Huffington Post dug up some slightly unreadable details on the magically disappearing must-have and the revelations, like the photos, are not pretty: “My belly button was herniated. Then there was that skin that hung there. It didn’t work to suck it in. It wouldn’t have mattered if I had done 1,000 sit-ups. “ More pictures, if you dare, after the jump. More »
Breaking!
9:05AM Seth | Person with gun arrested at Kate Hudson’s house! “A woman called 911 after seeing what she thought were men on her roof with a rifle. When cops arrived, they found two young men, one with a camera and one with an unloaded rifle. From what we’re hearing on the scene, the men are telling cops they are shooting a movie — and NYU is nearby. Both men are in cuffs and are still being interviewed at the scene.” If it later comes out that one of them was shirtless, it will only confirm our suspicion: That those intrepid Tisch undergrads will stop at nothing to get their sweded version of Fool’s Gold on tape. [TMZ] More »
Just How Big Will ‘The Chosen Two’ Make Angelina Jolie, Anyway?
9:00AM Molly Friedman | It’s been nearly two months since we first heard about The Chosen Two’s impending arrival, but judging from the size of Angelina Jolie’s widening waistline, we suspect Brad’s super sperm went into baby-making action a bit earlier than that. Seen yesterday shopping for books in Austin, Texas, Angelina’s belly seems to be expanding at an exponential rate not yet seen in celebrity pregnancies. Which got us thinking, what if we saddled Jolie up next to J. Lo and Julia Roberts just before they burst? That way, we can begin to suss out just what size muumuu to FedEx to Casa Brangelina come spring. More »
Celine Dion’s Leg Hair: It’s All Coming Back To Her Now
8:50AM Seth | International ambassador of the ancient Quebecois artform of chest-thump singing Celine Dion was nabbed by an unfeeling British tabloid press recently. Her crime: performing to a Tokyo crowd sporting a pair of unwaxed legs, giving her the aura of a power-ballad-belting kiwifruit when exposed to harsh backlighting. It’s precisely this kind of music industry double-standard (Tom Jones had to insure his chest against depilatory acts of God) that really makes us appreciate all that goes into being a French Canadian diva, and resist our reflexive instinct to make greatest-hits-inspired jokes (”I Drove All Night (To Find An Open Drug Store Selling Venus Razors),” “(What Do You Say To) Taking Personal Grooming Chances,” etc…) at the singer’s expense. Hair-raising: Celine Dion takes to the stage with furry legs [Daily Mail] More »
