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Chyna, We Think We'll Miss You Most Of All
Posted by Seth at 11:00 AM on March 8, 2008
· It's Celebrity Rehab graduation, and without giving away too much, we'll just say that it's never too late for a breakthrough.
· Our favorite American Idol Season 7 moment so far, in handy animated gif form.
· Holy shit! Scubacar!
· It's official: Jermaine Jackson's transformation into the creepy Nipsey Russell Tinman from The Wiz that used to give us nightmares as a kid is complete.
· Lisa Marie Presley didn't want to have tell you about the pregnancy this way, but now that you've all had a good laugh at those fat pictures...Fine! It's baby weight! Are you satisfied now?
· And finally, someone sent this to us, asking, "Is this a tip?" We really have no idea, so we throw it out to you. Is this a tip?
· It's Celebrity Rehab graduation, and without giving away too much, we'll just say that it's never too late for a breakthrough.
What exactly is a star to do when they've run out of things to snort up their much-abused noses? The 
Feeling hungry? Try snacking on this week's Dirt Sandwich, a wild and woolly compilation of the moments in celebrity infotainment programming that made us simultaneously groan, chuckle and hurl this week. As always, we 
Finally! Someone has the guts to stand up for the world's downtrodden hotel heiresses, whose only desire is that they be left to live their lives in peace, free from the flashbulb-popping scavengers of the celebrity media. That's what has emerged from the recent photos published just about everywhere--including 
While we certainly hope that the ladies of The View are ladylike when it comes to using the ladies' rooms at other lady celebrities' houses [Ed. Note - That's a lot of ladies!], the same can't be said for the men who man Barbara Walters' camera crew. In this clip, Walters politely told the story of how her visit to Casa Cyrus for her (barely watched) Oscar special turned into a literal shitshow, with toilets overflowing and Miley's "very nicely attractive mother" Tish bitterly hissing under her breath that she didn't mind one bit. But the icing on the shitcake is the way in which the Cyrus clan says "Thanks For Visiting, Come Again Soon!", which, in a surprising twist, does not come in the form of a Hallmark card, but rather an engraved tchotchke in the shape of a golden toilet. 
Maybe this is exactly what Sarah Jessica Parker deserves for toiling around fake city streets in stilettos and making it look effortless, resulting in hordes of tween girls mimicking the fierceness and wobbling around like fawlty towers. While shooting her 179th Vogue spread somewhere in Manhattan, the tiny dancer 
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often--the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you stumbled upon Ian Ziering getting a pedicure in a Hollywood strip mall.
· Warner Bros. snapped up the rights to South Korean hit The Chaser, with The Departed writer William Monahan set to write the adaption, and Leonardo DiCaprio and the Really Obvious Departed Rat "circling to star." [
First John Mayer 
One of the 
While AOL has put together a rosy list of the 
Poised to overtake Semi-Pro as the #1 comedy in America this weekend, 10,000 B.C., Roland Emmerich's hilariously bombastic homage to the dawn of CGI-man, officially opens today. Along the way, it has inspired film critics to some of their best movie-panning in recent memory, with the NY Times's A.O. Scott having dubbed this tale of a "tribe of snuffleupagus hunters" a 
Another day, another star lost to the more-popular-than-ever VIP club that is the Church of Scientology. But unlike Tom and Katie's previous predatory attacks on Jennifer Lopez and the Beckhams, this one really hurts. On Wednesday night, the Knights of Hubbard 
Blogging on the election (presidential, not Idol) for the Huffington Post, Larry David admits he's lost a bit of confidence in the increasingly histrionic Hillary Clinton: "There have been times in this campaign when she seemed so unhinged that I worried she'd actually kill herself if she lost...I don't care if it's 3 a.m. or 10 p.m. or any other time. I don't want her talking to Putin, I don't want her talking to Kim Jong Il, I don't want her talking to my nephew. She needs a long rest. She needs to put on a sarong and some sun block and get away from things for a while, a nice beach somewhere." We're looking forward to 
A Seinfeld sitcom denial! "NBC and Jerry Seinfeld shot down a New York Post report Friday that the comic was in talks with the network about a new sitcom. 'There's nothing to it,' said NBC spokeswoman Rebecca Marks." Pressed if there was even an outside chance of a special Seinfeld-themed Deal or No Deal, in which Newman, Uncle Leo, Soup Nazi, Susan, and the rest of the supporting players hoisted aluminum briefcases in place of the regular models, Marks simply pressed her lips tightly, turned an imaginary key at the corner of her mouth, and tossed it away. [
Haven't you heard? Stripping is back en vogue again (again)! Partly thanks to Ms. Busey-Hunt herself, the 
Jerry Seinfeld hasn't had a whole lot to do since his seminal sitcom left the airwaves (completely 
