Friday, March 7, 2008
Defamer Does L’oreal Melbourne Fashion Festival: Day Four
4:00PM Clem Bastow | Just when you thought you’d had enough fashion to last you from here to eternity, the L’Oreal Melbourne Fashion Festival is the stylish gift that just keeps on giving. In fact, you couldn’t stop it from giving, such is the unending avalanche of its sartorial smorgasbord, so here goes your report from the front lines of Fashion Fest, day four. Send food and supplies, please. More » 
Your Mr Darcy Fantasies? Colin Firth Spits On Them!
3:45PM Clem Bastow | Colin Firth, who went from the thinking woman’s crumpet after his ridiculously Mills & Boon-esque Mr-Darcy-in-the-lake moment in Pride & Prejudice to, well, more or less the same thing in Bridget Jones’ Diary, would like to make it known, lonely single women of the world, that men of the variety that he has made a successful career playing are fictional.
Well, obviously the film characters are fictional, but Firth reckons there’s not even an archetype in real life to base them on.
“I’ve decided the quintessential Englishman I play doesn’t exist.
“I play him but you don’t run into him very often. There aren’t very many Mr. Darcys out there. I think he’s a figment of our folklore or film lore.
“My character exists in mythology and he may have existed once but now he only exists in the hands of actors.”
So there you have it!
Stop dreaming of meeting your very own Mr Darcy, ladies – you may as well commit over-28s-night-induced hara kiri right now, and save yourself the bother! More » 
Bang, Bang, You’re F–ked: The Universe Creates ‘Underbelly’ Ban Loophole
11:56AM Clem Bastow | Oh, we love this.
Despite still being very much banned from Victorian screens thanks to Justice Betty King’s court ruling, Underbelly has been aired in Victoria – and not even because of the internet; thanks to an odd meteorological occurrence – seriously, you couldn’t make this shit up:
Warm weather has made a mockery of a suppression order banning the program’s free-to-air broadcast in Victoria, with atmospheric interference allowing the $13-million production to beam into the town via Tasmania’s WIN TV frequency, the Geelong Advertiser reported.
Television technicians believe current weather and subsequent changes in the atmosphere are responsible for the relayed signal.
One technician described the interference as fortuitous viewing, a phenomenon where outside signals can be broadcast into foreign areas under certain conditions.
He said the large body of water from Tasmania to the Victorian coast had also allowed the frequency waves to travel further.
We’d like to see the courts or Channel 9 get upset about some wind and clouds. What are they going to do, sue the sky? Claiming that their jurisdiction not only encompasses Victoria’s width, but its airspace as well?
Do your worst, fun-spoiling moral guardians! Geelong and the weather gods laugh in your face! Ha, ha, ha! (Etc.) More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Matchmaker, Matchmaker Bring Amy A Match… Oh, You Already Did
11:47AM Clem Bastow | We’ve never been backwards in coming forwards when it comes to our distaste for Amy Winehouse’s No Good™ husband Blake Fielder-Civil, but we’re always pleased when our partners in gossip seem to join the good fight.
To wit, today’s hilarious Daily Mail headline, on the topic of Winegums’ having been seen out with another “close friend” of the opposite sex: “Now that looks like a nice young man, Amy!”
Amy Winehouse stepped out with a clean-cut young man in London last night, raising hopes that she might yet dump her ‘Blake incarcerated’ and in turn increase the chances of kicking her drug habit.
Amy was seen leaving her Camden home last night with clean-cut singer Tyler James to meet up with her celebrity pals at St Martin’s Lane hotel nightclub Bungalow 8.
We were unaware that the Mail’s subs department had been taken over by Winegums’ long-lost Jewish mama, but there you go. It seems everyone wants Amy to find a nice young man.
And at this stage, we’ll take whatever we can get. Tyler James? Go you good thing! More » 
Visit Los Angeles: Home Of World’s Largest Marion Cotillard Stalker Shrine
10:29AM Seth | Via LAist: An admirer of Marion Cotillard has mounted the ultimate L.A.-tribute to the Oscar-winner: A mural, located on La Brea just north of San Vincente, quoting the French actress’s Oscar speech shout-out to her La Vie en Rose director Olivier Dahan, and written with the blood on the hands of shady Ground Zero contractors. There truly are angels in this city! More »
10:10AM Molly Friedman | It seems clear that when an actress’ career is going nowhere fast, there is only one place to turn: commercials for over-the-hill underwear! Following Jennifer Love Hewitt’s sizable lead, Sarah Chalke will be the new face (and butt) of the Hanes No Ride Up Panty line, a collection which appears to be inspired by everyone’s grandmother’s undergarments. They’re big, they’re thick, and they’re targeted for every gal out there who suffers from too frequent wedgies. Though Sarah does look lovely (and “wedgie-free”!) in the Hanes print ad, we’re a little nervous to view the commercial spot scheduled during March 11’s American Idol. As much as we adore Sarah and the Hanes marketing team’s dedication to pulling an idea out of their asses (pun most definitely intended), we feel obligated to remind them of the world’s long-ago-discovered antidote to the panty slip-n-slide: thongs. [ONTD] More »
10:10AM Molly Friedman | It seems clear that when an actress’ career is going nowhere fast, there is only one place to turn: commercials for over-the-hill underwear! Following Jennifer Love Hewitt’s sizable lead, Sarah Chalke will be the new face (and butt) of the Hanes No Ride Up Panty line, a collection which appears to be inspired by everyone’s grandmother’s undergarments. They’re big, they’re thick, and they’re targeted for every gal out there who suffers from too frequent wedgies. Though Sarah does look lovely (and “wedgie-free”!) in the Hanes print ad, we’re a little nervous to view the commercial spot scheduled during March 11’s American Idol. As much as we adore Sarah and the Hanes marketing team’s dedication to pulling an idea out of their asses (pun most definitely intended), we feel obligated to remind them of the world’s long-ago-discovered antidote to the panty slip-n-slide: thongs. [ONTD] More »
Molly Shannon Recreates Her Father’s Last Moments For The Visibly Uncomfortable Ladies Of ‘The View’
9:22AM Seth | When Molly Shannon was four years old, she was in a terrible car accident in her home town of Shaker Heights that took the lives of her mother, her little sister, and her cousin. That left her dad James Shannon, who survived the crash with a crushed leg, to raise Molly and her older sister Mary. Stopping by The View today to chat about upcoming projects (she’ll be starring in the U.S. version of Australian sitcom hit Kath and Kim), Shannon veered onto the subject of her dad. More »
Fox’s Promotional Campaign For ‘Unhitched’ Goes To The ‘Seinfeld’ Well Twice Too Often
8:53AM Mark Graham | Despite the dearth of new programming options on television these days, successfully launching a new show can still be quite the challenge. Fox’s new show, Unhitched, is no exception. While it has a strong pedigree (EP’d by The Farrelly Brothers), there’s still a lot of work to be done in getting viewers to pay attention to a show that has no stars (we crush on Rashida Jones, too, but her name doesn’t exactly equate to appointment viewing). And although the show debuted strong when it aired this Sunday (Mediaweek reported a 4.5/7 in overnights, good for a 92% hold from its Family Guy lead-in), the suits at Fox are taking no chances in their promos for the show. Their latest work invokes not one, not two but THREE quotes from TV scribes who compared the show to Seinfeld. Subtle, it is not. As for its effectiveness, we’ll just have to wait and see. Oh, and for what it’s worth, we liked the pilot quite plenty. [Fox] WATCH VIDEO More »
