Thursday, March 6, 2008
Defamer Does L’oreal Melbourne Fashion Festival: Day Three
4:18PM Clem Bastow | Defamer Australia’s fashion correspondent reached something resembling nirvana at last night’s installment of the L’Oreal Melbourne Fashion Festival when someone claiming to be from NW Magazine requested to take our picture. It took us until approximately 3pm this afternoon to recover from this even vague degree of separation from “Amy & The NW-ettes”, hence your missive arrives from fashland a little late, but better late than never, eh? Read on… More » 
It’s A Bit Early For This, Isn’t It, News.com.au?
2:57PM Clem Bastow | Like most fans of quality ’80s cheese, erotic pottery throwing, and excellent cult cameos, we were saddened to read this morning of Patrick Swayze’s battle with cancer (apparently pancreatic), which – depending on whether or not you believe The National Enquirer – could be terminal.
It seems no one, however, was more upset than the picture editors over at News.com.au, who have prepared themselves for the less savoury of a few possible outcomes by putting together this gallery:
“Life in pictures”? Doesn’t that sound a little too funereal for your liking? We thought so, too.
Easy there, News dudes, he’s still alive! More » 
It’s Saul Bass Night At The Mos Eisley Cantina
12:30PM Mark Graham | While not quite as awesome as when The Simpsons pulled the same trick, we think this reimagining of the Star Wars title sequence by way of Saul Bass hits most of the right notes. [YouTube via AOTS] As anyone who has seen Shaolin Soccer or Kung-Fu Hustle will attest, Stephen Chow is an undeniably talented and wholly unique presence in the world of cinema. Which is why we’re gonna give CJ7 a shot, against our better judgement. [Detour] Tina Fey’s Baby Mama is set to open the TriBeCa Film Festival in May. We’ve said it before but we’ll say it again: we loves us some Tina Fey, but this movie looks stillborn. Stick to the small screen, toots. [The Reeler] Nothing can brighten a dull day like the sight of a Dexter bobblehead sitting on your desk! Only bad news? You’re gonna have to wait until June to get your hands on one. [Entertainment Earth] More »
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Clutching At Straws Edition
10:39AM Clem Bastow | Evidently Winegums has stayed out of the public eye for today’s session of facial cigarette-stubbing and pustulation, as the Mail have resorted to their age-old filler technique – drawing questionable ’separated at birth’-style conclusions about celebrities’ personal appearance!
This round, after Scooter from work experience was sentenced to spend five hours in the photo archive, they’ve decided that maybe, it’s possible, in some way, perhaps, Amy Winehouse might be, possibly, taking style tips from none other than the original diva, Maria Callas!
She’s been hailed as a style icon and is reportedly launching her own range of clothes and make-up, but has Amy Winehouse been taking tips from another singer?
For Winehouse has been looking increasingly similar to Opera singer Maria Callas who died in 1977.
Her retro look of thick brows, heavy black liquid eyeliner and rouge lips appear to be inspired by the soprano’s iconic style which is almost identical.
Well, we can’t argue with that – that’s cold, hard facts, that is.
The Daily Mail photo department should be assigned all of history’s greatest unsolved mysteries; we feel confident they could work them out. More » 
Understated Captioning Effort Of The Day
10:24AM Clem Bastow | We read with more than a little amusement this tale of a man taking a car for a “test drive” that lasted for 6200km; there’s nothing we like more than to start the day with a shot of true blue Aussie idiocy.
However, we laughed even harder when we saw the News.com.au efforts to sum up the tale with one witty caption on their front page:
That has to be the most cutting use of the word “unsurprisingly” we’ve seen in some time. But then, what do you expect – turns out the dude nicked the car before the dealer could ride shotgun for the test drive, then took it home, packed himself some clothes and toiletries in a relaxed manner, and then toodled off for Tennant Creek.
Clearly a frontrunner for the next Australian of The Year! More » 
It’s Pellicano Fever All Over Again!
10:22AM Seth | It’s hard to believe it’s taken six years for the Feds to bring their case against wiretapper-to-the-stars Anthony Pellicano to court. Along the way, the promise of dirt the likes of which Hollywood has never seen was dangled before us like a Sprinkles cupcake lowered by fishing line in front of Kirstie Alley, only to then be cruelly snapped away: The investigation turned up nothing juicier than some false statements made to the FBI by Die Hard director John McTiernan, regarding his hiring of Pellicano to tap his Rollerball producing partner’s phone conversations. (He said he didn’t, but it turns out he did. Oopsies!) More »
Stephen Baldwin Is Like Roger Deakins, Alex Bogusky and Louis B. Mayer All Rolled Into One
10:20AM Mark Graham | While most of America has shown only a passing interest in Semi-Celebrity Apprentice (an interest that continues to fade each week), we have found it to be one of the few great small-screen joys of this strike-ravaged season. Not because the challenges are particularly interesting, mind you; our interest lies mainly in observing this pack of Type-A C-Listers trade on their varying levels of “fame” and hubris like social currency (see: Stephen Baldwin in the clip above). Rarely are the challenges on Donald Trump’s resurrected show about who has a better grasp on the four Ps; rather, it’s more about watching these fame-hungry jackals tear down their competitors’ self-worth while attempting to build theirs up. As close-to-brilliant as the show is in its current incarnation, we can only imagine how subversively stupendous it could be if Cris Abrego and Mark Cronin were steering the ship instead of Mark Burnett. [NBC.com] More »
Super Army Soldiers Protect Harry Potter
10:13AM Clem Bastow | All those magic spells and curses are evidently no match for a good old fashioned psycho – it seems Daniel Radcliffe has really arrived as a celebrity, thanks to having been issued death threats.
Poor Daniel – who looks anxious enough in his natural resting state, so we hate to think what this may be doing to his nerves – has apparently been assigned a personal security team comprised of ex-SAS soldiers, just in case any deranged fans try to rough him up.
The 18-year-old star is filming Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and although the nature of the threat – which was received via Warner Bros. who are producing the movie – is unclear, bosses aren’t prepared to take any chances.
…
Daniel has now been given a “chase car” which follows the vehicle in which he is travelling in case of emergency.
The source said of the SAS guards: “They are all experts in evasive driving, threat assessment and close protection. This isn’t about keeping an eye out for the paparazzi – these guys are looking for something far more sinister.”
Maybe they are looking out for… VOLDEMORT?!
Ahem, sorry, we bet he hasn’t heard that one before! In any case, in the unlikely event that something “sinister” does befall young Radcliffe, we’re sure Frankie Muniz would be more than happy to step in and finish up the franchise. More » 
Is This Carson Kressley’s Down Under Lover?
10:04AM Clem Bastow | The photo you see at left at greatly diminished capacity is apparently a snap of Carson Kressley and his “down under lover”, who Sydney Confidential were keen to tell us about the other day – except for that annoying detail of, well, not having any actual details about it.
You can see a bigger photo here. We love how spontaneous and relaxed this shot looks, particularly:
a) Carson has brought his Louis Vuitton carry-all to Bondi Beach
b) Both parties patently aware they are being photographed
c) Carson’s “down under lover” possibly on phone to Mum, telling her to check the papers tomorrow
More than anything, though, the photo just leaves us with one burning question: where can we get a pair of shorts with the test pattern on them like the dude sitting directly behind Carson?!
Now that’s a story worth chasing up! More » 
