Your Guide To Smelling Like Jillian Michaels

Our obsession with Jillian continues…

The brilliant Elspeth from The Celebrity Perfumery totally obeyed our demands after we raved about her Kate Moss effort and knocked up a drawing of Jillian, along with a recipe for The Biggest Loser’s personal scent. Check it, yo.

Jillian Michaels, aka the black widow of excercise, emmits a powerful punch to the nose.
One whiff of her sweat towel and you’ll either faint or corrode into a pile of dust!
- Cranberry juice
- Antibacterial soap
- Brazil nuts
- Tempeh
- Hemorrhoid cream
- Facial hair bleach
- Papaya
- Stale discharge
- Kiwi fruit shampoo
- Pepper spray
- Spearmint gum

Smack your cheeks with the concoction, as if it were cologne. You may sprout the odd chin whisker, that’s a sign that your hormone levels are adjusting to accommodate the hostile brew.

Very good. Elspeth was also kind enough to draw an image of Defamer Australia’s Editor post-hair shaving (YOU CAN STILL SPONSOR US IF YOU LIKE). If we put them side by side, it’s almost as though we’re hanging out with our idol!

Sigh. Jillian, we will hunt you down and make you train us if it’s the last thing we do.