With over 100 fansites, an author who's hot in an Anne Hatha-way and millions of books already sold, it's no doubt the upcoming Twilight movie franchise will be huge. But how huge? And why? And, more importantly, is Kristen Stewart hotter than Emma Watson? We'll leave that final point up to you (though we've already decided Twilight leading boy Robert Pattinson pales in comparison to Daniel Radcliffe and his treasure trail), but we've done some reading up on this vampire love story and we think that JK Rowling best watch her back. This kiddie tale has bite.

So! What's it all about, Alfie? Like Jude Law did in that movie, we'll take a very complex tale and simplify it by squeezing out all the charisma: A teenage girl named Bella Swan meets a really hot guy at school. And his whole family is really hot too. But they're secretly vampires, and Papa Vampire wants to give up blood-sucking and go "vegetarian." Bella and Hot Vampire Boy struggle with their forbidden love for as many pages as it takes to fill four books. Naturally, the question on every tweenybop's head is: do they wind up happily ever after, or does he eat her face? Good, right?

But there's just one teensy tiny problem standing in the way of this gigantic hormonal franchise's success: the last book comes out in August, and the first movie comes out this December. Using our mathematical prowess, we've concluded that every fan of the books won't be as hungry as those scary Harry Potter Heads were because they already know what's gonna happen. Our advice: don't read the books (author Stephenie Meyer's doing just fine, monetarily), and see the movies instead. Who reads books these days anyway?

• TWILIGHT SERIES [stephaniemeyer.com]
• TWILIGHT (2008) [IMDB]

Tags: harry potter | kristen stewart | stephenie meyer | twilight | twilight for dummies