When it comes to getting every last detail concerning Nicole Richie's eating habits, partying habits and exact partying schedule (down to the minute!), Us Weekly truly is the Economist of its genre. Reporting that new parents Nicole Richie and Joel Madden attended "Four Parties in Just Two Days!", the weekly takes gossip hounding to a whole new level. In this one story alone, there are no less than five time-stamps detailing the duo's every move and remark. For example: "She sipped on a tiny glass of champagne at 1:12 a.m. before heading home to check up on Harlow at 1:48 a.m." Thanks, Us! Not only were we on the edge of our seat wondering how large her champagne flute was, but the other night at 1:48am, we couldn't sleep without knowing for sure that Harlow Richie Madden was "checked up on." We feel so pacified we're not even gonna step out for our daily stress-relieving smoke break. [Usmagazine.com]

Tags: highbrow journalism | joel madden | nicole richie | us magazine