We have, like many other Australians, been watching the current series of The Biggest Loser. While we are always partial to seeing people with body issues and low self-esteem become totally buffed, the real reason behind our obsessive viewing of the program has more to do with our intense love of Jillian Michaels.

We even started the Facebook group "I would be a better person if Jillian from The Biggest Loser was my friend" which you should feel free to join. Here's the description, which should help explain our need to worship her.

Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser is a fucking genius. Everything she touches turns to televisual gold. She takes giant unhappy people and turns them into slim, somewhat less unhappy people.

Remember when Shane from The Biggest Loser was all sad and shit and unable to do his push ups, and she was right in his face going "Why do you hate yourself soooooo much? You just think you're fat and useless, don't you? DON'T YOU? You don't feel like you DESERVE to be loved because you're too FAT" until he cried like a baby AND THEN GOT REALLY BUFF AND HAPPY AND FELL IN LOVE WITH HER?!

If she was in my life, she would totally sort my shit out. Sure, I might weep a lot at first. Maybe the constant jogging and calorie counting would get on my nerves. Maybe I would have a couple of nightmares where her steely eyes burn into my skin as she spots me hacking away at a tub of Homer Hudson icecream with a tablespoon in the middle of the night. Whatever.

Jillian would make me bawl my eyes out, and then look totally hot. That's all I want from a friend, really.

OTHER PEOPLE FROM TELLY WHO WOULD BE GOOD ADDITIONS TO MY LIFE: Jo Frost aka Supernanny (I could do with being put in the naughty corner from time to time), the whip crackin' Victoria Stilwell from It's Me Or The Dog (her stern take-no-prisoners approach to dog parenthood would be beneficial to both me and my pup. Also, I find it mildly amusing that Victoria doesn't actually OWN a dog, according to her Wikipedia page)

We love collecting brilliant Jillian quotes (from Sunday's episode, hollered at a contestant who was struggling with weights - "I didn't fly you all the way over here to have you bitch about your arms so GOOOOOOOOOO!") but unfortunately we sporadically have a life and cannot watch every episode. If you hear Jillian say something astounding and inspirational and terrifyingly aggressive to a contestant, please email us and let us know so we can use it for Jillian Michaels' Inspirational And Somewhat Frightening Quote Of The Week.

Tags: au | jillian michaels appreciation | the biggest loser