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The Oscars According To Courtney Love
Posted by Seth at 5:10 AM on February 27, 2008
While there were certainly no lack of internet destinations to service your Oscars liveblogging and post-morteming needs, none of those takes can really hold a candle to the punctuation- and sanity-free zone of Courtney Love's own MySpace wrap-up. We take you now directly to the Courtney Oscars Live Feed:
swank looked great, i bet that was Versace, she looke dgirly for the fiorst time in forever- im sad for PTA i love teh Coens but PTA well tehy shouldve let him release all 6 hours of There Will Be Blood cos thats what i bet there is of it, Kidman as anyone knows and me are not bffs by any stretch, and i though te edgy thing was cool but for some reason not onher- and her forehead is way too shiny it flips me out- iwas REALLY isnpired Diablo Cody won - that was fucking AWESOME in fact i think i just may have peed all over her My Space-
i was supposed to be at Eltons Party at i think noon or something and if we dont hiurry it will suck- i really dont want to get there ina crush of shit and stuff- wait my pr is outside im calling her hold on- okay i hope the disaster has been averted but m,y expirience with that party is that i do NOT want to see Paris dancing ona table i really really DONT and i dont want to stuff a stale slamon canape in my mouth and i really need to get laid so i m off to do so.
By way of summary:
Swank: Girly
Kidman: Shiny
Anderson: Sorry
Cody: Worthy
Elton: Party
PR Girl: Handy
Hilton: Skanky
Love: Horny
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
heidiho
Posted 7:44 AM 27/2/08
Was there some Kidman vs. Love celebrity feud I didn't know about?
heidiho
Bento
Posted 7:44 AM 27/2/08
Diablo Cody isnpired her to wrtie teh srceenlpay seh alawys wnted to.
Bento
switchbladesister
Posted 8:29 AM 27/2/08
is anyone else disturbed that "stale slamon" immediately preceded her expressed wish to get laid? For me it was illiterate stream-of-half-consciousness gone even more hideously wrong.
switchbladesister
PickleTitsTurner
Posted 8:29 AM 27/2/08
Is it just me, or is there something minstrely about her writing?
PickleTitsTurner
CrankYank
Posted 8:29 AM 27/2/08
Seth - I love you. We can go see Step 2 and I'll be happy just holding your hand.
CrankYank
Wendy_Kroy
Posted 8:29 AM 27/2/08
I had to run that through Babel Fish before I could read it.
Wendy_Kroy
fiveinchtaint
Posted 8:29 AM 27/2/08
Really, I'd be surprised if she expressed herself any differently. And is that picture current? Looks like a tired Madge there.
fiveinchtaint
metroville
Posted 8:29 AM 27/2/08
I would have more inspired had Love gone the distance and misspelled the word as "insnipered".
metroville
karion
Posted 8:29 AM 27/2/08
I just wanted to applaud the whole thing, Seth. Nice summary.
karion
JudgeFudge
Posted 8:29 AM 27/2/08
Diablo+Courtney+15 Years = The Banger Sisters.
JudgeFudge
bowleen
Posted 8:29 AM 27/2/08
Get her some "Hooked on Phonics." My brain hurts trying to de-scramble that shit.
bowleen
Shumina
Posted 9:34 AM 27/2/08
Speling is fore loozirs.
Shumina
SugartitsMcFirecrotch
Posted 9:34 AM 27/2/08
That summary just about says it all really. Oscars 2008 in 16 words.
SugartitsMcFirecrotch
buttler
Posted 9:34 AM 27/2/08
Please refrain from peeing on my MySpace.
buttler
Oldboy
Posted 11:56 AM 27/2/08
Did Courtney get a nose job?
Oldboy
whitiris
Posted 11:56 AM 27/2/08
The Kidman/Love "feud" dates back to the casting of Moulin Rouge. Love really wanted the role (after giving Baz Luhrman the rights to "Smells Like Teen Spirit) and was pissed when she didn't get it. I'm sure Kidman was thinking "Courtney who?".
whitiris
gwiliandre
Posted 12:46 PM 27/2/08
Lemme get this straight? The shine shrine that is Nicole Kidman's forehead flips out one Courntey Love hole. Hmmmmmmmm. Wanna know what really flips me out? Courtney had no problem-O banging heroin into her veins whilst pregnant with Francis.
Pass the Channel Cou-unt-ure.
gwiliandre
heidiho
Posted 12:46 PM 27/2/08
@whitiris: Ah, thank you. I was thinking maybe Courtney had imaginary feuds with other celebrities.
heidiho
Beppo
Posted 12:46 PM 27/2/08
Her while-driving-drunk text messages must be virtually illegible.
Beppo
magsman
Posted 12:46 PM 27/2/08
Courtney got an everything job.
magsman
worst_1_yet
Posted 1:35 PM 27/2/08
Yet, her writeinging iss still somehow more innneresting than the webbsite i read it on
worst_1_yet
Miss d
Posted 4:00 PM 27/2/08
Jesus - someone get that woman away from the keyboard. I believe my eyes are bleeding...
Miss d
SteamyMcFirecrotch
Posted 6:04 PM 27/2/08
Yuo konw wtah's wreid? Eevn tguoh seh cn'at teyp wrtoh a dnam, I can tltloay udnersntad waht seh's snyaig.
SteamyMcFirecrotch
kit10indublin
Posted 11:36 PM 27/2/08
Courtney - living in her own made-up world of her own made-up reality with her own made-up language and spelling.
Imagine trying to talk to her or listen to that stream of consciousness bullshit? You'd have to drift off into your own made-up world of your own made-up, etc...simply to cope. This is known as Courtney Live effect.
kit10indublin
nyobserver
Posted 1:59 AM 28/2/08
what's with the bangs on Court?
nyobserver
Redfox
Posted 2:58 AM 28/2/08
@SteamyMcFirecrotch: There have actually been studies that show that, as long as all the letters are there and the first and last letters are correct, people can usually read alphabet soup like that. It has to do with the way we process written language and our brains' propensity to look for and identify patterns.
Redfox
bitchybitch
Posted 2:58 AM 28/2/08
Courtney looks like she's auditioning for the role of "Phoebe" in "friends, the musical".
bitchybitch