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The Guttenberg Danceth: 'Dancing with the Stars' Announces The Class of '08
Posted by Seth at 3:02 AM on February 20, 2008
Is there any mid-February tradition more cherished than the announcement of the Dancing with the Stars cast? These dozen brave, ballroom soldiers--of wildly varying Q-ratings and coordination skills--are plucked from every conceivable branch of celebrity, thrown into chest-bearing vests and horrifying baby doll dresses, and shuffled onto a well-greased dance floor. And it's all for America's perverse, compound-fracture-curious pleasures. Revealed last night on Dance War: The Chatterbox Gaytalian Strikes Back, and repeated again this morning on GMA, the sixth season brings Dancing a higher caliber of "star" than ever:
Is there any mid-February tradition more cherished than the announcement of the Dancing with the Stars cast? These dozen brave, ballroom soldiers--of wildly varying Q-ratings and coordination skills--are plucked from every conceivable branch of celebrity, thrown into chest-bearing vests and
We are most excited about Steve Guttenberg's involvement, whose stream-of-batshit-consciousness ramblings in recent years suggest to us that the rapidly unraveling '80s screen titan will lend an element of must-see-insanity to the proceedings. Hairspray star Marissa Jaret Winokur has also signed on, with many pinning their hopes on the plus-sized firecracker to finally integrate America's last segregated reality show. In the role of Most Inspiring Absence formerly occupied by Heather Mills's left leg, we have Oscar-winner Marlee Matlin's hearing. Penn Jillette, Priscilla Presley, Adam Carolla, Shannon Elizabeth, Monica Seles, Cristian De La Fuente, Kristi Yamaguchi, Miami Dolphin Jason Taylor, and someone named Mario (not Lopez, we think; he already had his chance) round out the group.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
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Brine
Posted 5:06 AM 20/2/08
@CrankYank: I was rather surprised considering how often he bashes DwtS on his morning radio show.
Brine
Sweet Panda Love
Posted 5:06 AM 20/2/08
I guess "Dancing With The Marginally Famous" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Sweet Panda Love
NoWireHangers
Posted 5:06 AM 20/2/08
You know they're gonna try to get Priscilla to dance to "Blue Suede Shoes" or something akin. It'll be hard to smile through the Botox, though. If I watched the show I could say that I was excited for Kristi Yamaguchi who like all gold medal ice skaters, had been sentenced to a retirement in ice-capade hell.
NoWireHangers
CrankYank
Posted 5:06 AM 20/2/08
@CrankYank: "didn't just bring in"
Today's Monday for me, you corporate owned Presidents Day working bastards.
CrankYank
CrankYank
Posted 5:06 AM 20/2/08
Adam Corolla - how un- "Man Show" can you get? Sure they just didn't bring in a resident heckler?
CrankYank
NoGrumpys
Posted 5:06 AM 20/2/08
[www.charo.info]
NoGrumpys
NoGrumpys
Posted 5:06 AM 20/2/08
...now the only thing missing is CHARO!
"hit it Conkie"
NoGrumpys
SteamyMcFirecrotch
Posted 6:06 AM 20/2/08
@aspiringexpatriate: Tune in and see!
SteamyMcFirecrotch
aspiringexpatriate
Posted 6:06 AM 20/2/08
Wouldn't Kristi Yamaguchi have an unfair advantage? I mean she won medals for performing ice skating/dancing routines.
aspiringexpatriate
NotReadyForPrimeTime
Posted 6:06 AM 20/2/08
Priscilla Presley will give her salary money to the Church of Scientology, so she should be voted off immediately.
NotReadyForPrimeTime
mothrafairy
Posted 6:06 AM 20/2/08
Monica Seles gets mega 'I Coulda Lost More Than My Damned Leg' sympathy-votes cuz she was stabbed in the back during that match in Germany back in the '90s.
That girl had some pretty snappy footwork on the tennis court in her day, not to mention the fact that she was the pioneer of the "grunt."
I wonder, will she grunt when she gets dipped during the samba, or salsa, or rhumba, or whah?
mothrafairy
IKnowThings
Posted 6:06 AM 20/2/08
They are not exactly "stars", but I have to say, that list is full of more celebrities than in years past. Jason Taylor, Seles and Yamaguchi are at least highly accomplished, and 'Cilla was married to the King, not to mention her star turn in the Naked Gun series. And Matlin has an Oscar. I still won't watch it, but at least I will know who the people are when they turn up on The Soup. Except for that Mario, and the one with the foreign name.
IKnowThings
Creepmouse
Posted 6:06 AM 20/2/08
To: The Producers
From: Inigo Montoya
Re: Use of the word "star"
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Creepmouse
cardboardbelt
Posted 7:30 AM 20/2/08
Oh man, Shannon Elizabeth has just given up, hasn't she? Isn't this kind of thing supposed to be 10 years down the road for her?
cardboardbelt
Readsforaliving
Posted 7:30 AM 20/2/08
I really thought Mike Lookinland had a shot this time.
Readsforaliving
CrankYank
Posted 7:30 AM 20/2/08
@SugartitsMcFirecrotch: Hee hee.
@heidiho: I'd love to see Shannon beat someone rhythmically with a tap shoe.
CrankYank
SugartitsMcFirecrotch
Posted 7:30 AM 20/2/08
Aw hell, they oughta just call it "Dancing with the Gutt" and be done with it.
SugartitsMcFirecrotch
SugartitsMcFirecrotch
Posted 7:30 AM 20/2/08
@Sweet Panda Love: "Dancing with the Star-Adjacent"??
SugartitsMcFirecrotch
heidiho
Posted 7:30 AM 20/2/08
I wish they'd have continued the 90210 trend. I'd love to see Shannen Doherty on this.
@aspiringexpatriate: Marisa was on Broadway, and last season, the Cheetah Girl was a professional dancer, so they don't really seem to care about that stuff.
heidiho
el smrtmnky
Posted 7:30 AM 20/2/08
@mothrafairy: we'll see what happens to monica after the Winkours beat the crap out of her with their center table and/or sit on her.
el smrtmnky
Bento
Posted 8:11 AM 20/2/08
@bowleen: As Hot as Vegetarian PETA members get.
Bento
bowleen
Posted 8:11 AM 20/2/08
Given up? I just checked her IMDB, and I can't really see anything but small cameos in TV since American Pie...that was 1999. She's still hot, but now she's 35 and her days being remembered as hot exchange student Nadia are over.
bowleen
Bento
Posted 8:11 AM 20/2/08
@cardboardbelt: She gave up back when she did "Thank god your here"
Bento
Sweet Panda Love
Posted 9:10 AM 20/2/08
@Desk_hack: Unless next time around they bring on Patty Duke and she starts screaming and flinging scrambled eggs everywhere.
Sweet Panda Love
Desk_hack
Posted 9:10 AM 20/2/08
I'm curious who they'll pair up with Marlee Matlin. Granted, she's not blind, but watching someone lead a deaf woman across the floor in a dance competition is as close to "The Miracle Worker" as reality TV will ever get.
Desk_hack
whitekidinflatbush
Posted 12:16 PM 20/2/08
Mario was in Step Up. That has to be ridiculously unfair.
whitekidinflatbush