Sarah Silverman Is Fucking Matt Damon

To celebrate the 5th anniversary of boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel’s ascension to ABC’s late night throne, Sarah Silverman decided it was time to come clean–in song, unsurprisingly–about the torrid, fuck-filled affair she’s been having with secretly devious Hollywood Nice Guy Matt Damon, who’s quietly been delivering carnal payback for years of being Kimmel’s sign-off joke (”Apologies to Matt Damon, we’ve run out of time,” etc) in the form of erotic pillow fights, up-against-the-minibar penetrations, and Scrabulous-enhanced trysts with the cuckolded host’s longtime partner. We’ll leave you to share in Kimmel’s musical shame without further preamble; by the end of Silverman’s impressively catchy confessional (note to striking WGA members: she says she wrote it in October!), you’ll be more than ready to cast aside your guitar and get to the important work of fucking Matt Damon.

• Jimmy Kimmel Live [ABC.com]