Sarah Silverman Is Fucking Matt Damon
Posted by Mark at 2:52 AM on February 2, 2008
To celebrate the 5th anniversary of boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel's ascension to ABC's late night throne, Sarah Silverman decided it was time to come clean--in song, unsurprisingly--about the torrid, fuck-filled affair she's been having with secretly devious Hollywood Nice Guy Matt Damon, who's quietly been delivering carnal payback for years of being Kimmel's sign-off joke ("Apologies to Matt Damon, we've run out of time," etc) in the form of erotic pillow fights, up-against-the-minibar penetrations, and Scrabulous-enhanced trysts with the cuckolded host's longtime partner.
We'll leave you to share in Kimmel's musical shame without further preamble; by the end of Silverman's impressively catchy confessional (note to striking WGA members: she says she wrote it in October!), you'll be more than ready to cast aside your guitar and get to the important work of fucking Matt Damon.
- Jimmy Kimmel Live [ABC.com]


Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
jeweltones
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
@SixString: Roger fucking that, man. Hate me a Silverman, but Damon just has no pride... hip hop dancing = engraved in my mind forever. One of many reasons to love him, besides his water charity.
jeweltones
SixString
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
I am crying laughing over this - Matt Damon just fucking rocks. Sarah hasn't made me laugh in years and this just rocketed her back up in my good graces, but Damon - is there NOTHING this man can't do. I want "I'm fucking Matt Damon" to become a national catchphrase.
SixString
MisterHippity
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
So it's like a real-life, "The Truth About Cats And Dogs" story for celebrities?
MisterHippity
thehmsbeagle
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
This only deepens my confusion about what the hell she's doing with Kimmel.
thehmsbeagle
anagramsam
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
NOREMAC = CREAM ON ;)
anagramsam
noremac
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
anagram sam = action sugar.
noremac
viruswithshoes
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
That was pretty funny. I love a woman with a potty-mouth who enjoys the sexing.
viruswithshoes
anagramsam
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
DMAC = dam c
anagramsam
Malegirdle
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
wait a second, is she actually having sex with Matt Damon? I still don't know.
Malegirdle
dmac
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
anagram sam = man-ram saga?
dmac
anagramsam
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
sarah silverman = smash anal river
anagramsam
Hiphopopotamus
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
That was the first time I laughed at anything on Jimmy's show... I feel a little dead inside now. I'm gonna go shower.
Hiphopopotamus
tlh917
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
Damon's funniest performance since "Scotty Doesn't Know."
tlh917
The Closer
Posted 5:07 AM 2/2/08
Who is Matt Damon?
The Closer
nojo
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
If only her second season had been that good.
nojo
Eitan
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
Matt's cheating on me?!
Eitan
scroll_lock
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
@mothrafairy: I don't hate her for being strong or opinionated. But she's no comic genius for doing 3rd grade level "shock" humor just because she's female. I hate her for being unfunny, unattractive and crass (not the "good" kind of crass, either).
scroll_lock
UncannyXMan
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
Damon is the man. This bit on Letterman was the one that sold me on the guy:
[youtube.com]
UncannyXMan
mothrafairy
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
That was amusing. Props to Damon for being a good sport...with some nicely flashed comic timing, to boot.
I don't know why people tend to hate Silverman with such passion, but I do know that people tend to be "hating" on strong, divisive, opinionated women in the public sphere, these days. It must be de rigeur.
(No, Sherri Shepard, you are not strong, and a viable opinion is but a lesser moon in the current galaxy of your liabilities. You are, merely, hated).
mothrafairy
OldTowneTavern
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
I don't care if you set it to music. There's nothing funny about anyone sleeping with my boyfriend. I appreciate those of you whose thoughts and prayers are with me during this difficult time.
OldTowneTavern
Dave J.
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
That was funny, but only because Matt Damon really, really looked like he was enjoying himself whilst dancing and saying "Fucking" about a hundred times. Still don't really find Sarah Silverman that funny.
Dave J.
Theda_Bara
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
I really needed to watch that. Or fuck Matt Damon.
Theda_Bara
belltolls
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
@Hiphopopotamus: Me too. Deconstruction and humor don't usually mix.
belltolls
far-far
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
oh my god this is amazing
far-far
hydeordie
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
this is the first time i have ever laughed out loud to sarah silverman...is that a symptom of something?
hydeordie
mordecai1908
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
If "Dick in a Box" can win an Emmy, then this ... well, maybe not. But it was still damned funny.
mordecai1908
Trixie from Toronto
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
@spanktastic: That's true, Spanky. I wish Gawker Media would sell T-shirts now saying I'm Fucking Matt Damon.
Trixie from Toronto
spanktastic
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
People hate her because she rarely knocks it out of the park.
spanktastic
Trixie from Toronto
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
People really hate her for some reason, but every once in a while, she really knocks it out of the park. And my love for Matt Damon has deeply intensified as a result of this. Why can't I be fucking Matt Damon?
Trixie from Toronto
MAGNUM
Posted 7:07 AM 2/2/08
Perfection.
MAGNUM
michaelagrammar
Posted 8:07 AM 2/2/08
@nojo: For realz. Aside from the brilliant abortion montage, S2 was suck city. Clearly the show should become The Sarah Silverman Is Fucking Matt Damon Program in order to remain relevant.
michaelagrammar
lizzybennet
Posted 9:07 AM 2/2/08
@Trixie from Toronto:
This makes me wanna fuck matt damon for the first time since he dumped minnie driver on oprah.
This rocks.
lizzybennet
rubyruby
Posted 9:07 AM 2/2/08
@Trixie from Toronto: Yeah, I'm really not a fan of hers at all but that was really funny. It wouldn't have been 1/2 as funny if Damon weren't in on the gag, though. Hmm. Of course it's also funny b/c Kimmel's a douche.
rubyruby
jasonelias
Posted 9:07 AM 2/2/08
Didn't laugh once and I like Matt Damon...
jasonelias
livingblinditem
Posted 9:07 AM 2/2/08
@tlh917: Damn tlh...major props for remembering the song
livingblinditem
popsocket
Posted 9:07 AM 2/2/08
I am Spartacus, I mean, fucking Matt Damon.
popsocket
Sweet Panda Love
Posted 10:07 AM 2/2/08
Oh, we like that Matt Damon. We can't help ourselves.
Sweet Panda Love
marin79
Posted 11:08 AM 2/2/08
Hilarious! But that song's going to be in my head for a long, long time!
marin79
gwiliandre
Posted 11:08 AM 2/2/08
FUNNY. Very funny Damon and Silverman.
gwiliandre
yesteryear
Posted 11:08 AM 2/2/08
sarah silverman is so 2006. ugh.
yesteryear
TheGrandToenail
Posted 11:08 AM 2/2/08
Gawker asks aloud why Jewish women get no love in the media, then answers self two days later.
TheGrandToenail
InkStainedWretch
Posted 1:08 PM 2/2/08
I wish SS had brought this kind of funny at Write Aid in December.
InkStainedWretch
Kylie
Posted 1:08 PM 2/2/08
Probably one of the funniest celebrity videos I've seen in years. I wanted to post it on WomenCo, but I wasn't sure how my audience would respond to it.
What the hell - maybe I'll post it anyways.
Kylie
Trixie from Toronto
Posted 1:08 PM 2/2/08
I watched this at the office all day, came home, made the kids dinner, and absent-mindedly started singing out loud: "I'm fucking Matt Damon!!!" as they sat down to eat.
Oh dear.
Trixie from Toronto
raincoaster
Posted 3:07 PM 2/2/08
Oh, how I hate this woman and Oh, how I love Matt Damon. Wasn't Ben Affleck the first to make a catchphrase of "I'm FUCKING MATT DAMON!" or am I the only one who actually bought that issue of Talk magazine.
Somebody should let Matt do a rap album. Who cares if it's ever released: it would make him very happy.
raincoaster
Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.
Posted 3:07 PM 2/2/08
Yes, but does she enjoy it as much as she enjoys Babybel cheese rounds?
Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.
Seth
Posted 3:07 PM 2/2/08
@Kylie: Happy banning!
Seth
WasatchMan
Posted 3:07 PM 2/2/08
This is why I love that J.A.P. (Look it up.)
WasatchMan
Cultmember
Posted 4:07 PM 2/2/08
Maybe Sarah's mustache makes Matt think of Ben.
Cultmember
hack-a-rific
Posted 8:07 AM 5/2/08
@mothrafairy: hating on the strong, opinionated women isn't new...unless you're talking about the Heigl in which case she's not smart about her outbursts and deserves some of the hater attention.
hack-a-rific
kit10indublin
Posted 9:03 AM 23/2/08
Wouldn't it be great if Sarah Silverman were actually funny? She makes Damon look like a comic genius there.
kit10indublin
Prosediva
Posted 6:25 PM 3/3/08
@Dave J.: there /is/ something engaging about him referring to himself in the 3rd person like that. I only wish he coulda thrown in some o' those Bourne moves with crazy editing and camera work... jumped through a few windows or whatever
In the Kimmel version - it wasn't Pitt's appearance that blew me away - it was Josh Groban. I was on the floor.
Prosediva