Hahaha, this is hilarious. For the first time ever, I have an ounce of respect for Fiddy.

Hail in strop!

sundaeg1rl

PIN! TOIL! RASH!

SteamyMcFirecrotch

Fiddy hates skinny annoying bishes. Member how he threw that ANTM trainwreck girl into the pool?

Sleepyhead

@thehmsbeagle: Wow, Skinny Clooney / Kiyo Akasaka pic should really inaugurate a new Thing: Defamer Caption Contests (with summary executions for the lamest ones!).

Sleepyhead

Why are all the band members scratching themselves? Did they catch something from Paris that quickly?

dutchtreat

@anagramsam: in polar shit.

larrydarrell

It was a Super "Bowel" party and naturally Paris was the shit!

Kdoggy

@anagramsam: paris hilton = hit on sir pal

BaconCat

@Trixie from Toronto: I was just this morning talking about that ephemeral charity work she talked up after she was released from jail! Like, what happened with that?

Her crying makes me happy. That 50 cent made her cry makes me giggle. Schadenfreude, I knows, but still...

AbbyNormal

i thought i needed coffee to wake me up. this is so way better.

confusedforahotsecond

They should have let her stay on stage. If anyone fired at shot at 50 it might have hit her.

NoWireHangers

paris hilton = halo in strip

anagramsam

I live in Phoenix, and she made the news last night, but so did he....he was at an 'ultra-exclusive' party, was planning to leave to get a haircut, perform at Paris' party, and head back to the first one.
Sad that I am so informed, isn't it?

boop97006

@ThaKadinskyPapers: Elephant tears.

Misssmithdrankyourvodka

The blonde in the background feels her pain, too.

Misssmithdrankyourvodka

Fuck You and your crocodile tears, Skank!

ThaKadinskyPapers

That was fantastic.

For your next comics installment, could you include this bizarre picture of Skinny Clooney at the UN?

thehmsbeagle

Just wait until Fiddy tries to seal the spotlight at the Most Astonishingly Useless Human Being On The Face Of The Earth Awards. Revenge shall be Paris'!

metroville

It's about fucking time.

MissSamAdams

It's not a comic, it's a graphic novel.

RonMwangaguhunga

I find this highly unfair to Ebola, because she was only going to stay on stage for another minute or two, and then rush off to attend to her charity work.

Trixie from Toronto

Paris has a "booty"? Thats news to me.

remedialwhino

The baby polar bear killed me dead, but this has revived me!

debbiedoesdamage

@crackbabyjesus: brilliant!

Paris Hilton = No, tis L. Phair

BaconCat

@anagramsam: Paris Whitney Hilton: Tipsy inhaler! Hit now!

dutchtreat

Awesome job Editorial Staff. This is the best way ever to make boring gossip awesome.

BoHan

@crackbabyjesus: If you're going to correct yourself, maybe you could find where the letter "L" goes?

SteamyMcFirecrotch

Correction- Paris Hilton: I Shit On Rap.

crackbabyjesus

OK, I can't be clear today--I put the poster up in November, last time I had a poster was 14. Not that anybody's readin...

Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.

50 Cent is the only person who had merited a poster in my bedroom since I was 14 years old. I look at him every day when I wake up. Now, more than ever. Paris needs this medicine.

Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.

This is like Persepolis, but meaningful.

Dave J.

Paris Hilton: Shit On Rap.
Damn, no wonder he kicked her off stage.

crackbabyjesus

@SteamyMcFirecrotch:
I can show you where it goes, Mr. Smarty Pants McFirecrotch, but you'll need to bend over.

crackbabyjesus

Seth - please tell us you're keeping this feature.

TheStarterWife

@Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.: I am actually fascinated by this revelation. You have a poster of 50 Cent on your wall? For how long? And why? I need to know more.

Trixie from Toronto

@dutchtreat: My favourite comment of the day.

Trixie from Toronto

@Trixie from Toronto: Yeah, I wouldn't want to do her, not unless it was in the style of, say, Patrick Bateman. Then we'd all get a happy ending.

sundaeg1rl

When he learns how to put the "S" on his name, I'll pay attention.

TryThisAtHome

@TheGrandToenail: I once briefly found Paris Hilton hot. Then the loathing took over. It's a sure lust-killer, unless you're a devoted hate-fucker.

Trixie from Toronto

@Dave J.: Parisopolis
it's the one time i'd ask for more burqua

el smrtmnky

Paris Hilton: Or Plain Shit?

@Trixie from Toronto: ooo better hope Matt Daymon doesn't see that!

Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.

Kathotdog. Your name is Kathotdog. Damn. Sorry... SAG woke me out a delicious drunken stupor at 10:00 am and I have a whoregig to produce, it's been a long day.

TheGrandToenail

Ooh Kathitdog, damn: that one's bullseye. Ouuuuuch.

TheGrandToenail

I find Paris hot. And I thought I was straight and had taste. You're lucky, Trixie. Your lust object makes you sane. Mine makes me want to call the Samaritans.

TheGrandToenail

@Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.: I find Nelly ridiculously hot ..... when it gets hot in here, he makes me want to take off all my clothes.

Trixie from Toronto

Paris Hilton: Hairlip Snot

kathotdog

@dutchtreat: Amazing.

I ring in agreement with those who love this feature!

Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.

@Trixie from Toronto: I got the poster as a freebie at the (brace yourself) Jimmy Kimmel show. It was in my closet for over 2 years, and then I saw Get Rich or Die Tryin' and, I don't know, I fell in love, he inspired me to quit being such a baby about getting shot 8 times in the mouth and work a little harder...to walk in the world without a bullet-proof vest...plus he is almost as hot as LL Cool J.

Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.

PS: the Paris Comic must continue as a Gawker feature. Her number one fan has spoken.

TheGrandToenail

Papper Flapper Served Crapper by Rapper.

TheGrandToenail

I HATE that she is in my town but I LOVE that this happened to her here... Gives me the warm fuzzies somehow.

denises_24

@BoHan: OK Seth, after further review, it's like some genius cross between Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein. And I really don't want to say it, but Andy probably would have had made sure Paris was in the Factory.

BoHan

@thegrandtoenail: You're an honest to goodness PRODUCER?!?

Wow, can I know you?

Comma8Comma1

She shouldn't have tried to steal his groove...'get the f&#k off the stage' was totally appropriate given this is the same person who freely uses the "N" word when she's hanging around her whiteys. Good for him. Go cry your eyes out in the bathroom you big bitch.

SuperStarSteve

Fiddy better watch out - as she's bin hanging with some bull dykes of late... those beeyotches can really fuck a man up, know what I mean... but looks like their hate hasn't wiped off on her - as tears are so Lipstick...

Miss d

50 cent is worth just that 50 cents. He is just another no talent rapper with his pants hanging off his ass. She was hositng that party not him and he should have been tossed out of there. He is more sickening than she is.

novstorm

nah, he ain't worth 50 cents

MsFit

He should have been left in the back yard on that chain where he belongs. And would someone PLEASE tell that boy he can use a CREAM on that itch!!!

MsFit

No fair. I enjoy hating 50 Cent, and now he does this. Now I have a little bit of respect for him, and I think I just died a little inside.

Eli Reusch