Paris Hilton Under Investigation For Severe Case Of Puppy Love

Perhaps as some sort of karmic payback for forcing thousands of Americans to endure Ellen Degeneres’ terrible dance moves each and every weekday, it seems that The Ellen Degeneres Show is attempting to make things right by playing a part in getting Paris Hilton busted for overzealously breeding dogs. After Paris admitted to Ellen last week that she owns 17 dogs and likes to sleep with “all of them,” the Los Angeles Department of Animal Services paid a visit to the Hilton home to investigate. While it’s too early to learn this offense will land Paris back in the slammer (or, for that matter, the pound), we can’t help but be reminded how similar this storyline is to a Season Two episode of The Sarah Silverman Program.Specifically, we’re thinking of the episode in which Sarah had to go to dog-butt-licking rehab after getting a bit too intimate with her chihuahua-esque friend Doug. After taking the stand and convincing everyone that bestiality is chill, all charges against the fictional Sarah Silverman were dropped. So! Even if Paris didn’t get a little touchy-feely with all her chompers, she should take a cue from Sarah and defend her dog addiction: “My name is Paris Hilton, and I am a dog-aholic.”

• PARIS HAS TOO MANY BITCHES [TMZ]