New Ltd Subs Break New Ground In Hilariously Understated Headline-Writing

Let’s just say you were a bit of a ‘head in the clouds’ type, right? And you like riding your motorcycle, okay?

Only here’s the thing: you’d picked up a BBQ from hard rubbish and, being a bit of a thrifty sort, thought you might take it home and give it a second lease on life – following? And then, like, you think, “I know, I’ll carry the barbie home – by putting it over my body like something out of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome and riding the motorcycle down the freeway, yeah?

Right, so you get it home only to discover that a) your flatmates are laughing at you and/because b) someone had taken a photo of you carrying the BBQ and the Hun had published it, leading to a.i) even more people laughing at you, your housemates laughing at you even more, and even your own mother suggesting you change your name via deed poll to ‘Dickhead McIdiotness’.

How do you think the paper’s online subediting team would react to all this?

If the image above was roughly what popped into your head, then, waiter! Another serve of Walkley Awards for the party at table six!