Mills And Mccartney Settle Divorce (Apparently); ‘Sex Maniac’ Story-Selling Ex Did It For The Children

Two news items in the Macca/Mucca corner this morning, most pressingly that it appears that after a protracted legal battle involving muckraking, on-air meltdowns and garish tabloid revelations, Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills may be close to settling their divorce, with McCartney agreeing to a particular payout if Mills in turn agrees to a strict gag when it comes to talking about the marriage.

According to the Daily Mail, via the SMH:

According to the paper, McCartney is to pay a £20 million lump sum to Mills and continue to make annual payments of £2.5 million until their four-year-old daughter Beatrice turns 18.

Mills was also entitled to four security guards for 24-hour protection.

In return for the settlement, Mills had agreed not to talk about her marriage to McCartney.

Given that McCartney more or less owns the universe (didn’t he buy the rights to Happy Birthday once, or is that in the same basket as mud-sharks and stomachs full of semen?), we’re sure he won’t miss the money (or, for that matter, Mills).

However, in more entertaining news, Tim Steel – the fine, upstanding gent of the “massaging her stump gives her multiple orgasms” story – is clearly desperate to show his sensitive side after totally selling out his former relationship with Mills, and has defended his blurting – apparently, he needed the money to send his children to school.

Break out the violins!

“I could have sold this story so many times before but my circumstances changed. I am a father of two young boys and I took the money to pay for their education,” he said.

Steel and his wife, Heather Mills look-alike Sue, have put their two young sons’ names down for the prestigious Scots College in Sydney’s Bellevue Hill.

“I had a long, long chat with my wife about it and we thought the chance was there to secure my boys’ education. I wasn’t just some greedy love rat.”

…

“I was trying to put the positive side of Heather, that she is not a gold digger. She is a massive campaigner for her charities and that’s where all her money goes.”

Yes, the positive side of her being a sex maniac with an apparently clitorally-enhanced stump who likes having sex on desks.

Top work, Steel, you’ll get your reward in heaven!