Lily Allen’s Start To Two-Thousand-And-Great Gets Even Better

Remember how we said we were thinking of getting the tech dudes to install a button, so that we wouldn’t even have to type the words “Lily Allen is having a rough time at the moment”?

Well, we’re one step closer to Making It Happen, as Poor Lily©’s year keeps getting shitter; now she’s been dumped as the new Agent Provocateur spokesmodel, just as soon as she’d tried on the fancy smalls! And, wouldn’t you know it, all that exercise she did for her “health”? It was really just so she could rock it with the other lingerie models.

Allen, 22, is said to be “gutted” after putting herself through gruelling gym sessions to get in shape for the ads.

Allen, who was to take over from Kate Moss, was snapped in a corset and stockings with a whip and was said to be “really proud of her new figure”, according to a friend.

But she was ditched after Joe Corre, 40, and Serena Rees, 39, who own the business and are divorcing, failed to agree if she was the right girl for the job.

According to a source, Ms Rees chose Lily but Mr Corre “wasn’t keen”.

A company spokesman said no decision had been made and the photos may still be used.

Previous Agent Provocateur models include Kylie Minogue, actress Maggie Gyllenhaal and burlesque artiste Dita Von Teese.

Yes, yes, all very “not show friends, show business” and all that, but we love the line that the Mail served up immediately following the aforementioned passage:

It’s been a tough few weeks for Allen.

Bam!

If you ever needed proof of the gossip business’ collective unconscious, there it is. We’re glad to see we’re not the only ones who are wishing for Lily Allen to catch a break, if only in a subeditorial capacity.