Inside The “Intriguing” World Of Tilda Swinton’s Love Life

Here at Defamer Australia, we know that you – our lovely readers – are a discerning bunch, but that you also sometimes just want to hear about celebrity relationship gossip. Well, we are pleased to be able to bring you both with this tale of proper actress Tilda Swinton (you may remember her as Orlando, or perhaps as the Angel Gabriel in Constantine, memorably telling Keanu Reeves “You’re f–ked”) and her wild and wacky love life!

In “Celebs! They’re not much like us at all, really” news, the UK press are fascinated by the cult actress’ decision to have both a long-term partner (who is the father of her children) and a lover, and the fact that all three are apparently perfectly happy with this set-up. Read on!

This week, a handsome German-born artist named Sandro Kopp – 29 to her 47 – was playing the role of consort.

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But the question of who is playing a supporting role to Ms Swinton is not exactly clear cut. For at home – a spectacular pile on the banks of the Moray Firth – is Swinton’s long-term love John Byrne.

And yesterday he revealed that he is very much a part of Swinton’s life still.

Indeed, he made it clear that he and Swinton still love each other, and that they continue to raise their ten-year-old twins Xavier and Honor together at their whitewashed home, which is in a secluded spot at the end of a tree-lined road.

This is extraordinary enough.

But there’s more.

Is there, The Daily Mail? And is this “more” also “extraordinary”? You mean some people have unconventional love lives and are, gasp, actually happy? We don’t believe it – we simply don’t believe it! Pray tell, what of the rest of the family?

The twins, it emerges, were with Swinton and her lover at the Bafta’s ceremony, and returned to the family home as a group – including Kopp – on Tuesday afternoon.

They were greeted at the door by Byrne, who helped them with their cases.

The unconventional menage then retired inside.

Kopp, it seems, is staying over in Scotland for a few days, with the full blessing of Byrne, an eccentrically bewhiskered figure who, aged 67, could almost be cast in the role of grandfather.

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The locals are kept busy trying to work out what on earth is going on behind the closed doors of the Swinton-Byrne residence.

The truth, according to associates of Swinton, is that she is very deeply in love – with both men.

And far from being a passing phase she is said to hope that it continues indefinitely. “All I can tell you,” said a London associate of the actress, “is that Tilda is delightfully, extremely happy.”

We bet she is! The article goes on to provide some lovely quotes from all involved, as well as Swinton’s mother and a few locals, who seem bemused if impressed by the extended clan’s modus operandi.

We love it! Tilda Swinton is now officially Defamer Australia’s new Sting and Trudie “We Actually Quite Like Checking Out Sex Clubs And Sucking Each Other’s Toes” Styler, and we for one welcome our new polyamorous overlords!