Friday, February 22, 2008
YouTube Clip Of The Day
4:25PM Jess McGuire | To steal a phrase from the Austin Powers flicks, there are only two things we can’t stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures… and the Dutch. Actually, that’s not true at all. We love the Dutch! Especially because their love for Hey Dad! has strangely lead to someone using a video camera to film the television screen while the opening credits to the program were playing!
We suspect it’s not the real Dario Argento on YouTube uploading this sort of malarkey, but you never know. More » 
Bon Scott Memorial Statue Will Be Pleasingly True To Life
4:21PM Clem Bastow | We’re big fans of both Bon Scott and Bon Scott-era AC/DC (as if there were any other) here at Defamer Australia, so when we heard – via, er, The Bon Scott Fan Club email newsletter – that a statue was being planned in his home state of Western Australia, we were a little concerned that it might not capture the man’s true greatness, so to speak.
We are, then, pleased to announce that no such indignity will be suffered by Scott’s memory – or, for that matter, the memory of his pants:
West Australian Bon Scott Fan Club president Doug Thorncroft, who pushed for almost a decade to have a permanent tribute to his Scottish-born hard rock hero, said the statue was just right.
“It’s true Bon in his rock and roll singer stance. He’s giving it all to the crowd, he said.
“He’s got a microphone in his left hand, tilted up and the cable from the amp on the right, and it’s just so Bon.
“His jeans are painted on with his package bulging out.”
And, lo, God said it was good, and it was.
The statue will be fully unveiled this weekend. More » 
Starlet Sez, ‘I Am Not Cate Blanchett’; Cate Blanchett Sez, ‘No Shit’
3:48PM Clem Bastow | Look, we know what it’s like to try and make it in this heady world of show business; we’ve seen 42nd Street and A Star Is Born, we know how it all works.
So, we know that when you’re a starlet trying to get a leg up, you take what you can get – we’re just not sure that going about it the way Jessica Marais has is the way to go:
Rising actress Jessica Marais has shunned walking in the shadow of Hollywood star Cate Blanchett, demanding to be known only on her own merits.
Comparisons between the National Institute of Dramatic Art graduates began to fly after Marais’s costume from her final stage production Sweet Charity joined a selection of Blanchett’s memorabilia archived at the prestigious school more than 16 years ago.
While the South African-born beauty is flattered by the rare storage move and being dubbed the next Blanchett, she’s also aware it could be the kiss of death.
“I want to be the next Jessica Marais not Cate Blanchett,” the 23-year-old said this week.
“It detracts from what is unique about you, which is how you get the role.”
Sooo… they went to the same acting school at different times, and when said school wanted to raise some funds, it sold off some old costumes, which happened to include gear worn – separately – by both actresses.
At which point did people go from that information to “the new Cate Blanchett”? Admittedly this is equally the fault of the press as much as it is Marais herself, but still.
We’re going to adopt this immediately as our new personal PR campaign; just pick a famous person you are not actually being compared to, and then complain about being compared to them.
To wit: “Could people please stop saying Defamer Australia is the next New York Times? We’d prefer to be judged on our own exceptional merits.” More » 
Your Guide To Smelling Like Jillian Michaels
2:54PM Jess McGuire | Our obsession with Jillian continues…
The brilliant Elspeth from The Celebrity Perfumery totally obeyed our demands after we raved about her Kate Moss effort and knocked up a drawing of Jillian, along with a recipe for The Biggest Loser’s personal scent. Check it, yo.
Jillian Michaels, aka the black widow of excercise, emmits a powerful punch to the nose.
One whiff of her sweat towel and you’ll either faint or corrode into a pile of dust!
- Cranberry juice
- Antibacterial soap
- Brazil nuts
- Tempeh
- Hemorrhoid cream
- Facial hair bleach
- Papaya
- Stale discharge
- Kiwi fruit shampoo
- Pepper spray
- Spearmint gum
Smack your cheeks with the concoction, as if it were cologne. You may sprout the odd chin whisker, that’s a sign that your hormone levels are adjusting to accommodate the hostile brew.
Very good. Elspeth was also kind enough to draw an image of Defamer Australia’s Editor post-hair shaving (YOU CAN STILL SPONSOR US IF YOU LIKE). If we put them side by side, it’s almost as though we’re hanging out with our idol!
Sigh. Jillian, we will hunt you down and make you train us if it’s the last thing we do.
More » 
Some Pleasant Facebook Groups For You To Join On A Fairly Dull Friday Afternoon
2:54PM Jess McGuire | It’s that time of the week – we’re merely hours away from weekend fun and we’re all willing the remaining minutes of our Friday to fly past so we can do something more fun, like dance to Hall & Oates at a crowded venue while drinking copious amounts of alcohol.
Let us help you avoid doing any proper work by suggesting some charming Facebook groups for you to join.
Group Name: Do you accept to marry a not virgin girl?
Description: an appeal to all the men who claim they fashions and Open Mind and they are the men and liberal ideas ask them this important question : Do you accept to marry a not virgin girl – ? If Daringness have to respond to this question admitted but without lied
Defamer Australia says… In a culture which celebrates promiscuity, the creators of this group ask a very poignant question – in adorable broken English. Ever since we joined this group, we have been “poked” by many handsome single men from Beirut. Ladies, take note!
Group Name: Shit Movie Club
Description: The concept basically involves going to see completely lowbrow movies and heckling/worshipping them as we see fit. We will spend more hours than we dare to count visiting Greater Unions and Hoyts cinemas until we fully appreciate fart jokes, until we walk away wondering “Yeah, like what IS it with men and women, they’re so DIFFERENT LOLOLOL”, until we know Jessica Alba’s resume back to front. Shit Movie Club expects every man (and woman) to do their duty. Go and see a lowbrow flick and report back immediately for appropriately banal discussion.
Defamer Australia says… We created this group. We’re going to see 27 Dresses tonight on a girl date with our friend Kirsten, and we’re hoping it’s going to be appalling and thus amazing. Either way, it’d want to be better than Atonement, which we hated with a red hot passion.
Group Name: I believe Sandra Sully is bonking Brad from Sports Tonight
Description: This group is based nothing other than the INTENSE looks those two give each other every night, the little quips they make, and the flirtatious segues they make for each other. I hope they are bonking. A little bit of late night flirting on the TV is fun to watch before i go to bed. Go you good things.
Defamer Australia says… You know, ever since we joined this posse, we’ve never been able to look at the late news in the same way. So much chemistry, people!
Group Name: Bindi Irwin scares the SHIT out of me
Description: A support network for those who believe Chucky and Bindi will one day join forces AND KILL US ALL.
Defamer Australia says… Interesting fact! Australia Zoo does not appreciate the existence of this group, but more on that little nugget of information in the future…
Group Name: If you got THICK THIGHS,PHAT ASS,TIG OL BITTIES , basically if u r a nympho
Description: WEEKLY CHECK IN YA’LL dis ya boi yours truely checkin in makin sure everybody straight,vibin in the group, GETTIN ALONG!!!!!!!!!!!! but if ya’ll have any request holla at me
Defamer Australia says… We have no idea what that description means, but we are quite taken with the phrase “TIG OL BITTIES”.
Group Name: A Baby Squirrel Wearing a Cowboy Hat Riding a Golden Retriever Puppy
Description: A baby squirrel wearing a cowboy hat riding a golden retriever puppy with a saddle and cowboy hat on.
Defamer Australia says… There is really not much more to add. Every time we feel low, we stare at the picture of the baby squirrel wearing a cowboy hat riding a golden retriever puppy, and something shifts deep inside us. The creators of this group may just have come up with the best new religion of the 21st Century.
Group Name: I COULD Go For That, And By That, I Mean Hall and Oates
Description: Hall and Oates are musical geniuses.
Defamer Australia says… Dude… She’s Gone? Sara Smile? Rich Girl? There’s really nothing we can add, is there?
Group Name: B.D. WONG IS NEVER WRONG
Description: If you don’t know who B.D. Wong is, then keep browsin’.
Defamer Australia says… B.D. Wong makes us scream with glee whenever he appears on the screen during Law & Order: SVU. He fucking brings it every time, and we love him deeply for it.
And there you have it. Feel free to suggest Facebook groups for us to join and plug by emailing the usual address. More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Would You Give This Woman A Hotel Room?
12:31PM Clem Bastow | In an incredibly original move for a troubled musician in the grips of fame and substance issues, it appears Amy Winehouse – who has been staying in a hotel since leaving rehab, presumably since her house is full of drugs triggers – has taken to making a mess in her hotel room.
She stopped short of tossing the television set out the window, but we were quietly amused by the inventory of crap that housekeeping found in her five-star accommodation when she nicked out to the Brit Awards:
Booze was spilled all over the wooden hallway and cigarette butts, countless bottles of champagne and unwashed knickers were all over the floor.
The blackened bath had to be scrubbed and unclogged after she dyed and washed her famous beehive in the tub.
She had even taken a large mirror off the wall and placed it on the floor. Staff were baffled why. I’m not.
A source for the Riverbank Plaza Hotel on the Albert Embankment revealed: “It was carnage.”
We would wag our fingers at Winegums if the list of detritus found about her room didn’t so closely resemble our own bedroom/living room/bathroom/kitchen…
You know, apart from the unwashed undies; that’s just taking it all a step too far. More » 
Mr G To Launch Music Career; Hopefully Ja’mie To Follow By Entering ‘Dolly’ Model Contest
12:12PM Clem Bastow | We know more than a few people who actually took to listening to and/or playing Naughty Girl (”Ecstasy! Ecstasy! E, E, E, E, Ecstasy!”), the climactic club number from Mr G’s Summer Heights High magnum opus, back when the series was on the air.
One Defamer Australia pal even went so far as to “drop” the track in the middle of an indie rock club’s DJ set.
It goes without saying, then, that there will be a lot of very excited people around the country next week, when Mr G releases the track as an official single!
The popular creation of satirist Chris Lilley, the drama teacher will break out of his small-screen stardom with the stand-out track from Mr G The Musical.
…
He plans a full-scale promotional assault to realise his dreams of achieving greater recognition of his talent.
“I’m planning to use the song as the school bell for a week once it’s released. The Principal doesn’t know this yet but I’ve booked in with the PA ladies and I’m going to blast it all over the school. This should help sales,” Mr G said.
The 36-year-old scene-stealer said he had already received a huge response to the single, including the remixes by Paul Mac, John Paul Talbot and Stylaz Fuego.
We’re impressed to see Paul Mac is in on the joke; we thought he was only interested in playing extended prog jams with Silverchair these days, but it seems Mr “We’d like to thank the ecstasy dealers of Sydney” still has a sense of humour in him!
The single will be available digitally on March 1st and on CD from the 8th. More » 
Thomas Dekker: The Sashay Chante Chronicles
12:08PM Seth | You might recognize Thomas Dekker as the almost- but-not -quite -gay Zach from Heroes, or as a young John Connor on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. In this photoshoot, we like to imagine he’s listening to an advanced copy of Kylie’s latest, and just celebrating all the great things happening to his career. [Queerty] Thursday Evening Mind-Melt, Pt. 1: You want meta? Here’s your meta: Michel Gondry “swedes” his own Be Kind Rewind trailer. (Now get Amanda Bynes to swede the sweded trailer, and you’re likely to have your brains run right out your ears!) [YouTube via The Thighmaster] MTV Movie Blog’s Josh Horowitz always fantasized about starring in one of those parody Oscar openings, so he went ahead and made one himself. He looks curiously fetching in a Tilda Swinton wig. [moviesblog.mtv.com] Thursday Evening Mind-Melt, Pt. 2: It’s the Twin Peaks backwards-dancing-midget dream sequence….Backwards. [YouTube] Jelly Bean Clooney! [PageSix.com]
Bang, Bang, You’re F–ked: “Nine Probes Underbelly Leaks”
11:59AM Clem Bastow | We’re not usually prone to repeating titles in full, but there was something about the phrase “Nine probes Underbelly leaks“, combined with a rather unpleasant photo of the real Carl Williams, that just had us thinking about bottoms and fingers and god knows what else happening in the back rooms of Nine.
In any case, Channel Nine are – a little after the eight ball – investigating their own ranks after copies of Underbelly were distributed to people involved in the Melbourne gangland strife, which could lead to contempt of court issues if said people end up in the trial that led to the Victorian banning of the series in the first place.
The Daily Telegraph has been told network bosses in Melbourne want to know how episodes of the 13-part series got into the hands of some of the underworld players portrayed in the series and the general public.
…
A spokeswoman for the station said two people had been questioned and denied making any copies available.
She said only those involved in programming or selling the series were entitled to view episodes in a “controlled environment” and the network was not fearful of contempt charges.
“No (we’re not fearful), but whoever is operating a black market should be. Nine continues to abide by the court order,” she said.
Roberta Williams, the former wife of gangland kingpin Carl Williams, said she received nine episodes of the series complete with Underbelly promotional labels before it was aired interstate.
You hear that, pirates? Nine says you should be FEARFUL! We bet whichever shady type has been diligently operating this black market Video Ezy is right now quaking in their boots.
Although, perhaps they would be, if Nine threatened to re-launch Monster House and throw ‘persons of interest’ into a “hilarious” hidden camera routine with Rebel Wilson. More » 
