We damn near had a heart attack when we read yesterday afternoon that little Bob Bob Irwin, the golden haired replica doll-less child we're pinning all our conservation hopes on, had been bitten by a snake!
The 4-year-old son of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin was not at all alarmed when he was recently bitten by a baby boa constrictor, according to his mother.
"He picked one of them up and it bit him on the finger, and he was so proud to have copped his first hit," Irwin's widow, Terri, said today at an appearance at the FAO Schwarz toy store with her two children to promote a new line of toys.
Obviously we shouldn't have been too afraid for Bob Bob's welfare. Let's face it, once you've faced off with a crocodile whilst still being physically unable to hold your own head up and lived to tell the tale, something as trivial as a snake isn't going to faze you one little bit, although the Pete Doherty-ish use of the words "copped his first hit" worries us slightly, as it paints a tragic picture of an older Bob Bob becoming an adrenalin junkie, taking unnecessary risks and performing death defying feats for the cameras. And we all know where that leads...
We're pleased Bob Bob was switched on enough to ask an all important question once he "copped his first hit".
"He said, 'I hope it wasn't venomous', so I assured Robert I wouldn't actually let him play with venomous snakes," she said.
At least he's learned from the mistakes of the past and has no intentions of messing with venomous creatures for kicks. We're also chuffed that mother Terri would never have him play with a poisonous snake, choosing instead to go for a more constricting beast.
Terri Irwin said the couple's 9-year-old daughter, Bindi, was first bitten by a snake when she was 18-months old. The girl, who is featured in the Discovery Kids Channel show Bindi the Jungle Girl, posed for cameras with a new action figure in her likeness.
Typical. Anything Bob Bob can do, Bindi can do better.
"Bitten at 4-years-old? Dude, please. By four years of age, I was cage fighting with Siberian tigers, eating live red back spiders for breakfast, and hot wiring vehicles in the Australia Zoo car park in order to joyride with delinquent chimpanzees. Crikey! Word to yo motha!"
Don't get too comfortable on that throne, missy, surrounded by your mindless lackeys and assorted dolls. Bob Bob will have his day, mark our overly dramatic and completely ridiculous words...