We told you this morning about Julia Gillard coming in second as Ralph magazine's Sexiest Woman.

Well, everyone's favourite (and, evidently, sexiest) Deputy Prime Minister has offered a reaction to her "achievement", and her response is so adorable that we felt it deserved its own post:

"I'm not a reader of Ralph magazine, I would like to make that clear," Ms Gillard said, laughing, on Fairfax Radio Network today.

...

"I think people don't understand that I am probably two foot shorter than Jennifer Hawkins and double her body weight, so it's been a very unusual result.

"I would simply agree that Jennifer is a very attractive woman."

Aww, Julia, all you are doing is making us love you EVEN MORE.

Well, we're now a week into the "proper" part of So You Think You Can Dance Australia and already the show has been Dogged By Controversy. You know, if by "controversy" you mean "a few people getting upset because a swear word slipped through the filters".

Yes, the joys of live television were in full effect on Sunday, and a stray "f--k" made it through; we laughed heartily at the time, other viewers were less impressed.

We've been thrilled with how well the show format has been adapted for Australian audiences (i.e. with few changes), but are noticing a strange sort of listlessness now that we've reached the Top 20, which is bad news for a show like SYTYCD, which usually starts breaking out the big guns as it gets closer to the finishing line (unlike Idol, which becomes progressively less captivating week by week).

We're not sure if it's the "corrie" (choreography), the peculiar camera angles (Producer: "Okay guys, they're about to do a really intricate move, so let's take the camera as far away as possible, starting... now!") or the fact that the judges, while great, don't really have the same personality factor as the American judges, but we were left feeling a little cheated at the end of Sunday's show. What do you think so far? It could be that we're just such psychotic fans of the US franchise that nothing will ever match it - but then again, we were more than happy with the audition episodes.

However, we were most pleased on Monday to see the back of Melbourne's Courtney Walker, who had one too many "sexy" moves and not enough actual chops to last it out, and then got all sooky post-"eviction" when judge Jason dared to describe her style as "lyrical jazz" instead of "hip hop jazz" (happily, he bitch-slapped her back down with some very faint praise that basically amounted to "bye bye now, there's a good girl", and then it was time for The Bass' "Okay, Courtney, you need to sit on the stool now" moment, and the Lord said it was good).

Don't worry: we're not giving up on So You Think You Can Dance Australia just yet. We'd just like to request some slightly better hair/make-up/costuming and slightly less inane banter from The Bass, and the whole thing should get back on track.

Amy "I Killed A Man In Prison Just To Watch Him Suffer" Winehouse is perhaps these days as well known for her Drug Hell and accompanying 'personal issues' as she is for her music, which - until the Grammys just past - seemed to be taking a backseat to the increasingly soap opera-esque events of her personal life.

Well, let Dad Mitch Winehouse take you back to a more innocent time, a time pre-Blake Fielder-Civil, when Mitch claims Amy wouldn't have dreamed of touching hard drugs.

You see? We told you it was his fault. Blake, that is, not Mitch.

Amy Winehouse's father Mitch has blamed his jailed son-in-law for his daughter's addiction to class A drugs.

While Mitch concedes Blake Fielder-Civil is "not entirely responsible" for Amy's drug problems, he believes they worsened after the two married last year.

Before getting together with Blake, Amy had told her dad she thought class A drugs were "for mugs".

Blake, 25, is currently languishing in London's Pentonville prison awaiting trial for GBH and alleged trial fixing.

In an interview with Closer magazine, Mitch said: "He's not entirely responsible, she's got to take a portion of the responsibility, but it's clear, it really kicked off when they got together."

There are also some heartwarming words from Winegums' mum, Janis, who maintains that Amy is a free spirit who just wants to try everything (including a worrying childhood foray into shrooming):

"Amy's a survivor. I've had enough silly childhood things to know that - she once ate a toadstool in the garden when she was a toddler.

"She's always wanted to taste, try, understand everything at every level all her life - I guess it feeds her creativity.

"She has a true passion for life. And Ribena. And ice pops and chocolates!"

Well, isn't that just sweet. All we need to do is make sure Amy is kitted out with tooth-rotting sweet cordials and lollies and everything should be right as rain!

As you will now be aware, we here at Defamer Australia from time to time like to draw your attention to the wonderful world of what we like to call "second page" news. They're not the front page stories everyone flocks to read, but rather the offbeat filler that makes up the rest of the paper.

Back in 'the old days' this stuff would occupy a small, pictureless paragraph at the bottom of a broadsheet page, but thanks to the wonders of the internets, anything's game for a front page website pull piece - witness today's winner, from News.com.au:

The story itself is rather grisly and grim, but boy if those News.com.au clowns don't know how to make an otherwise harrowing tale of rape and murder look like the long lost Carry On installment.

Nice work, team - now see what you can do with that totally weird and wacky story about the Dad who drove his kids into the dam!

Remember how we said we were thinking of getting the tech dudes to install a button, so that we wouldn't even have to type the words "Lily Allen is having a rough time at the moment"?

Well, we're one step closer to Making It Happen, as Poor Lily©'s year keeps getting shitter; now she's been dumped as the new Agent Provocateur spokesmodel, just as soon as she'd tried on the fancy smalls! And, wouldn't you know it, all that exercise she did for her "health"? It was really just so she could rock it with the other lingerie models.

Allen, 22, is said to be "gutted" after putting herself through gruelling gym sessions to get in shape for the ads.

Allen, who was to take over from Kate Moss, was snapped in a corset and stockings with a whip and was said to be "really proud of her new figure", according to a friend.

But she was ditched after Joe Corre, 40, and Serena Rees, 39, who own the business and are divorcing, failed to agree if she was the right girl for the job.

According to a source, Ms Rees chose Lily but Mr Corre "wasn't keen".

A company spokesman said no decision had been made and the photos may still be used.

Previous Agent Provocateur models include Kylie Minogue, actress Maggie Gyllenhaal and burlesque artiste Dita Von Teese.

Yes, yes, all very "not show friends, show business" and all that, but we love the line that the Mail served up immediately following the aforementioned passage:

It's been a tough few weeks for Allen.

Bam!

If you ever needed proof of the gossip business' collective unconscious, there it is. We're glad to see we're not the only ones who are wishing for Lily Allen to catch a break, if only in a subeditorial capacity.

Oh, those wacky types over at the land of blokes' mags, what will they think of next?

In this case, the rib-ticklingly, gob-smackingly hilarious move of Ralph bringing our beloved ranga Deputy Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, in at equal 2nd place as "Sexiest Woman" in their annual awards evening, which we're sure was as classy as the mag what birthed it.

Clearly there are a few Labor voters in the Ralph office, with Julia Gillard named runner-up in the sexiest woman category in the lads mag's annual awards last night.

The deputy PM and singer Rihanna tied for silver behind Myer model Jennifer Hawkins in the category.

It's clearly a gag because, in the case of reader-voted countdowns, like FHM's annual 100 Sexiest list, the joke votes (Sandra Sully, Pauline Hanson, Irene from Home & Away) will usually loiter around the non-prize-winning end of the poll - thus, this is clearly an ironic jab at Gillard, because there's nothing male media outlets like to do more when it comes to female politicians than to have a go at their personal appearance.

What a cack, eh lads?

We damn near had a heart attack when we read yesterday afternoon that little Bob Bob Irwin, the golden haired replica doll-less child we're pinning all our conservation hopes on, had been bitten by a snake!

The 4-year-old son of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin was not at all alarmed when he was recently bitten by a baby boa constrictor, according to his mother.

"He picked one of them up and it bit him on the finger, and he was so proud to have copped his first hit," Irwin's widow, Terri, said today at an appearance at the FAO Schwarz toy store with her two children to promote a new line of toys.

Obviously we shouldn't have been too afraid for Bob Bob's welfare. Let's face it, once you've faced off with a crocodile whilst still being physically unable to hold your own head up and lived to tell the tale, something as trivial as a snake isn't going to faze you one little bit, although the Pete Doherty-ish use of the words "copped his first hit" worries us slightly, as it paints a tragic picture of an older Bob Bob becoming an adrenalin junkie, taking unnecessary risks and performing death defying feats for the cameras. And we all know where that leads...

We're pleased Bob Bob was switched on enough to ask an all important question once he "copped his first hit".

"He said, 'I hope it wasn't venomous', so I assured Robert I wouldn't actually let him play with venomous snakes," she said.

At least he's learned from the mistakes of the past and has no intentions of messing with venomous creatures for kicks. We're also chuffed that mother Terri would never have him play with a poisonous snake, choosing instead to go for a more constricting beast.

Terri Irwin said the couple's 9-year-old daughter, Bindi, was first bitten by a snake when she was 18-months old. The girl, who is featured in the Discovery Kids Channel show Bindi the Jungle Girl, posed for cameras with a new action figure in her likeness.

Typical. Anything Bob Bob can do, Bindi can do better.

"Bitten at 4-years-old? Dude, please. By four years of age, I was cage fighting with Siberian tigers, eating live red back spiders for breakfast, and hot wiring vehicles in the Australia Zoo car park in order to joyride with delinquent chimpanzees. Crikey! Word to yo motha!"

Don't get too comfortable on that throne, missy, surrounded by your mindless lackeys and assorted dolls. Bob Bob will have his day, mark our overly dramatic and completely ridiculous words...

Say your prayers, eat your vitamins and vote for Barack Obama! Or so sayeth Hulk Hogan, who suplexed and then leg-dropped an unsuspecting Clinton camp last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live by pledging his allegiance and his vote to Obama. And although our experience in the art of campaigning begins and ends with our run for Student Council back in high school (which, we might add, was successful ... three times!), we're pretty darn sure that the Obama ticket could really benefit by awarding the Hulkster a spot on to their roster. Perhaps this is finally the way that Obama can silence the critics who claim he lacks experience in foreign diplomacy!

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We were disappointed to learn recently that the host of It Takes Two, wee person Grant Denyer, has resorted to fluffing up his hair before the show in a sad and desperate bid to look slightly taller while standing next to leggy co-host Erika Heynatz. Not only that, but Grant's drastic and hopeless war on inches has earned the ire of the most important folks out there, the Channel 7 audience.

Word is there's been a bit of a to-do over the ridiculously high hair-do Grant Denyer sported on the series launch of It Takes Two last week.

Channel 7 was inundated by viewer complaints about Denyer's bouffant - teased to give him extra inches when standing next to his towering co-host Erika Heynatz.

No doubt teasing of a different nature will ensure Denyer's mop will be styled more appropriately on tonight's show.

Channel 7 viewers actually ring and complain about the hair height of variety show hosts? You learn something new every day.

But let's be serious for a moment. If Grant Denyer is truly unhappy with the stature nature gave him, then perhaps we should take a moment to think of ways to help the poor man. Although folk like Andrew G and the Triple J Breakfast team (who have gone so far as to proudly declare themselves the tiniest radio posse on the FM band) appear to have embraced the fact they were put on this earth in a handy travel-sized package - and their entertainment careers have gone from strength to strength because of it - Grant's attempt at a voluminous quiff is clearly a cry for help, and Defamer Australia will not let it go unheard!

After a long hard think as to how to best style Grant Denyer's follicles, the following image literally - LITERALLY - punched us straight on the nose and screamed "MAKE GRANT LOOK LIKE THIS". As we type, we are bleeding all over our keyboard.

If anyone has used towering hair to their showbiz advantage, it's Don King.

So Grant, print out the following picture we've mocked up and take it to the studio's hair and make up team. You'll be towering over certainly giving Erika Heynatz's shoulders a run for their money in no time.

GRANT DENYER - "THANK YOU, DEFAMER AUSTRALIA"

Anytime, little one. Anytime.

Photographer Gavin O'Neill clearly hasn't realised that the media like their women to be either dirty sluts or helpless angels, as he is surprised at the "poor Lara" spin that's been put upon the reemergence of the nude photoshoot he and Bingle undertook some time ago.

Yes, the conservative media outlets can't imagine that a) a young model would choose to pose nude or topless for some otherwise sophisticated photos, b) that the photographer wouldn't have been taking advantage of her in working with her, and c) that she wouldn't be completely ashamed and resort to the usual "I was young and needed the money!" excuses if the photos were distributed after the fact.

Here's O'Neill's take on it all:

But while Bingle has been painted as the victim in a sleazy expose that just won't disappear, O'Neill says the images are beautiful and tasteful - an opinion shared by the Cronulla model's management at International Quarterback.

Bingle and O'Neill have maintained a close professional relationship since the nude shoot, working together on several commercial projects.

"Everybody has this perception that Lara is embarrassed by the pictures but she's not ashamed at all - she loves these pictures," O'Neill told the Daily Telegraph's Confidential.

"I spoke to her about it today and she really doesn't understand why people would think 'poor Lara'. She and her family have no issue with the images at all."

Personally, we're with O'Neill and Lara's management - in the scheme of "surfaced" nudie photos, these ones are lovely; Lara looks gorgeous and womanly (although, where has she been hiding those bazoongas??) and the whole thing is about as far from a shameful Zoo-style strip-down as you can get.

Now, if the media could stop treating her like their sheltered 16-year-old virgin daughter who lives in a bubble within which it is perpetually 1956, that would be very nice, thanks!

After yesterday's Mark Ronson sad-a-thon, we've now decided to throw a pity party for winner of The Biggest Loser's first series Adro Sarnelli. Why? Because trainer Bob Harper ain't returning his calls.

He had such a major impact on his life he named one of his children after him, but if Adro Sarnelli was expecting Biggest Loser trainer Bob Harper to return the affection, he had another thing coming.

Two years after the first series went to air, former fat-busters feel they have been snubbed by the American fitness guru.

Series 1 winner Sarnelli called his 14-month-old son Eden Harper after the man who changed his life, but is disappointed Harper still has not met the child.

"I would love it if there was a little bit more interaction," Sarnelli said.

"You have to be a bit realistic and sensible about it . . . so far there are 95 Biggest Loser contestants across the world. There's part of me that wishes he replied to my emails as soon as I sent them, but I totally understand."

It sounds to us like you understand in a crying-yourself-to-sleep kinda way, our Subway scoffing friend.

Nevertheless, Adro is adamant there's still some love there.

He denied rumours that the pair had a falling out when Harper was too busy to catch up in Los Angeles last year, saying he was too jetlagged to see him the day he arrived and the following day Harper had to go to New York. "He didn't dog me," he said.

So they really are friends, and it's just circumstances keeping them apart, and Bob counts Adro as a bestie? Right?

While Harper was unavailable for comment yesterday, a Channel 10 spokesman told Confidential that he had filmed eight series of the show in the US.

"It's one of those relationships which kind of blur the boundaries between professional and personal," the spokesman said.

Which sounds a lot like "It's not you, it's me. I'll call you... sometime."

Poor Adro.

PS: We also note the line in the article saying "Harper, who is now in Sydney shooting the American version of Loser..."

IS JILLIAN ON AUSTRALIAN SOIL TOO? DO WE NEED TO BOOK A TICKET TO SYDNEY? WE WANT HER TO MAKE US CRY AND GET US FIT (SIMULTANEOUSLY).

Following in the current publishing world trend of putting leading actresses of the day in meticulously art directed recreations of Hitchcock films, naked Marilyn spreads, and other potentially terrifying scenarios, Jessica Alba sat for a series of iconic horror movie tableaus for Latina magazine. The shoot called upon the unsung-serious-actress- trapped-in- the-body-of-a -mindblowing-hottie to reach deeper into her own talent stores than ever before. And reach she did, pulling out every open-mouthed trick in her acting playbook, to put her own imprint on such iconic cinematic moments as (from L to R) Rosemary's Baby, the Psycho shower scene, and the climactic pigeon-attack from Working Girl.

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· Because nothing says "I'm a good dad" like psychotically destroying a wooden desk with a sledgehammer! Score another one for Ben Silverman, this guy can't lose. [NBC.com]
· Our pervy (in a good way!) brethren over at Fleshbot got their hands on a clip of Gene Simmons giving a half-hearted rogering to some blonde lass. You have been warned, the clip is both NSFW and NSF-YourStomach. [Fleshbot]
· While we didn't actually take the time to read Esquire's Kate Beckinsale quiz, we spend a lot of time looking at the pictures. Wonder if this means we passed. [Esquire]
· Whoever convinced ScarJo to get that horrible tattoo on her forearm needs to be reprimanded. [ONTD]
· How does one top off a day in which millions and millions of Americans looked at your breasts? If you're Lindsay Lohan, you do it by going to watch Monday Night Raw. With no pants on. [The Sun]

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Okay, everyone needs to chill out and relax already about those nudie pics Lindsay shot for NY Mag. There's nothing wrong with a young girl splashing her freckalicious T&A all over billboards and buses, so zip up your pants and act like an adult. Why? Because Dina Lohan says so! As the momager/pimp tells People, "I looked at it as art...I don't look at them like it's Playboy. Trust me. I wouldn't have sent my 14 year-old to the set. And obviously Lindsay wouldn't do anything with her sister there that was risque." Yes, Dina, obviously. More lessons from the House of Lohan, and Lindsay's pre-shoot workout regime, after the jump.

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Because we here at Defamer are committed to leaving virtually no stone unturned in our efforts to bring you the latest in life-easifying web-based conveniences (so long as that stone is brought to our attention via e-mailed press release), we now pass along two such applications.

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In which organization's Lost & Found bin would you find the following: keys to BMWs and Porsches, an iPod, a walking stick, a Republican voter's registration card, and orthopedic inserts? No, not the Dick Cheney Fan Club. Try the WGA! Items left behind after the writer's strike paint a not-so-pretty of our favorite rebels with pens. Not even the presence of "about 10 pairs of glasses" can woo us into forgiving one member's disregard for his engraved wedding ring. More from the list, including what was engraved on the holy band (in case you're missing yours), after the jump.

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Pop star-alternative Pink (hey--isn't her hair supposed to be pink? What gives? That was her whole thing!) has left her husband of two years, Xtreme athlete Carey Hart, apparently because he was seen with another woman, color-indeterminate. Our mama always warned us about them MotoX--she said they'd drag our hearts around like a 450cc+ railing a berm like a pro. Keep on keepin' on, Pink. [AP]

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While American Idol is still a ratings powerhouse and one of the strongest franchises on television, there is no denying that the brand has taken more than its fair share of lumps since Jordin Sparks was crowned the winner of the show's sixth season. In addition to stillborn debuts from last season's two finalists (Blake Lewis and the aforementioned Miss Sparks), past winners like Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard were both recently unceremoniously dropped from their recording deals. So when confronted with waning ratings during this season's tiresome pre-series run of "Hey, Look At That Jackass" moments, it seems that Idol producers turned to a tride and true gimmick in order to get people talking about their show once again. They created a controversy.

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Have things really gotten so rough for Jennifer Aniston that she's gone from dating cokehead models to taking movie roles just so she can date the leading man? That's what this article on Jen's new relationship with Traveling co-star Aaron Eckhart seems to be implying. According to the Daily Mail, Eckhart "personally requested Aniston for the part...and Jen's entire reason for doing this movie was Aaron." Before we got carried away imagining the potential for very cute little blonde Ecklets with rhinoplastic trust funds, we tried to figure out if this "rumor" had any substance.

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Ah, no one says it like Tim Gunn, revered style swami and champion of dandy diplomacy, who can tell you everything you need to know about the dumpy hunchbackwear you've got on with nothing more than a fist pressed to his lips and a deep furrowing of his Sharpei-like brow. If anyone can get away with skewering the sartorial challenges facing our past and present leaders, it is he. Appearing on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Gun was utterly unwowed by what was going on below President Bush's ankles: Taken separately, a pair of black Crocs and Air Force One socks might work, but there was virtually no excuse for wearing the two together (short of perhaps currying favor with the German Chancellor at the next G7 Summit).

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You know what? Even though he's meant to be looking all nerdy in the new Gnarls Barkley videoclip, we'd still probably let Justin Timberlake do naughty things to us, if the opportunity "arose".

Awww. He looks kinda sweet, doesn't he? We're fairly certain The Sun's description of Timberlake looking "like Screech, from 1990s US TV show Saved By The Bell, doing karaoke" won't be making JT feel too good about himself right now, but on the upside, somewhere Dustin Diamond is making another seedy sex video with renewed vigdiour and self-confidence. Possibly with SexyBack blaring in the background.

· In an uncomfortable marriage pitting the coolest brands on the planet with, um, a lesser-cool brand, Apple has become a signature sponsor of American Idol. What does this mean for you, the Apple/Idol fan? iTunes carries show downloads, the iPod becomes the show's "official digital music player," and the company's next top-secret product launch, the iPaula, will perform all the functions of the iPhone, but with improved wasted and weepy functionality. [Variety]
· Toshiba concedes defeat in the high-def war, giving Blu-ray the official win, and relegating HD-DVD to the obsolete technology junkpile. (Attention unnamed dance-punk bands: Blu-Ray Or HD-DVD is up for grabs!) [Variety]

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Less than two weeks ago, the staff of Bestweekever.tv put together a spirited and inventive internet campaign whose mission was to convince NBC not to cancel Friday Night Lights. By all accounts, it seemed to be working well; not only did it receive a healthy amount of press coverage, BWE.tv was able to convince over 10,000 people to sign an online petition to save the show. However, over the weekend, all mention of the campaign mysteriously disappeared from the site's homepage. So we decided to do some digging.

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Jeremy Piven was recently captured sunning on a Hawaiian shore by a telephoto lens almost as substantial as Ari Gold's legendary member, and while we can detect ever the slightest hint of burgeoning Piv-handles, the 2008 Golden Globe winner appears to still be in fine form. Clearly, Piven's habit of stepping in at local bar-band gigs to whale on the skins until the very last disappointed patron files out, paired with a vigorous yoga regimen learned in the high peaks of the Himalayas (where the actor achieved levels of spiritual enlightenment heretofore thought unimaginable for someone whose previous notable achievements included among them the coining of the phrase, "Let's hug it out, bitch,"), have contributed to one of the most enviable beach bodies of the entire Entourage cast. Sorry E, Turtle, Drama, Lloyd, and Bob Ryan, but the guy's got hairless pecs for days. Is that something you might be interested in? Click through to get a closer look at a Piv triptych.

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The Other Boleyn Girl looks like a lovely little film, just lovely, but OMG DID NATALIE AND SCARLETT JUST MAKE OUT?! It certainly looked like it last week at the Berlin premiere, as photographers got hot and heavy anticipating a moment where it seemed like Natalie was going in for some full tilt boogie with ScarJo. This moment came on the heels of that whole "Scarlett is sexy" comment that Natalie made in their joint W interview. And there was that whole matter of the duo's matching haircuts on The Today Show. So why are Scar and Nat getting so friendly these days? Hint: it has less to do with intimacy and more to do with putting asses in seats.

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As a shepherd of great literary works from page to screen, assistant-gobbling producer/Kraken Scott Rudin is arguably without equal: He produced both of the dark, uncompromising visions currently vying for Oscar greatness, No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood. In an LAT profile, Rudin is credited with scooping up rich source material before it even hits bookstore shelves, pairing it with the right director, making casting suggestion, and even tweaking crucial moments in the script. (Recent legend has it that he quietly pulled P.T. Anderson aside between Blood takes to question if "maybe some other beverage besides Ovaltine might work better in that one line," before staring down at a half-finished Wendy's Frostee for the creative epiphany of a lifetime.) Still, no Rudin profile is complete without the requisite paragraph on his notoriously mercurial temper:

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The good news for Beverly Hills residents is that a West Coast outpost of Soho House will not be opening where Morton's on Melrose used to be. The bad news? A restaurant owned by the proprietors of Soho House will be going there instead! After British millionaire Richard Caring bought out minority investors, he announced he would open outlets of the snobby club/hotel everywhere from Chicago to Shanghai, but tough-as-nails neighbors near the landmark restaurant's former site complained about potential noise and parking issues. Caring has since relocated his plans to West Hollywood, but the arrival of Cecconi's may not ease the pain so fast; first up on the restaurant's event schedule is taking over Morton's annual hosting of the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, which we're sure won't attract the least bit of traffic. [Page Six]

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Jennifer Lopez has reportedly sold the US rights to exclusive pictures of her twinset to People for a rumored $6 million, beating the record formerly held by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Plus, Lopez will also receive an undisclosed sum from OK! for international rights. But why so much moolah for J. Lo? How can her spawn possibly be worth more than The Chosen One, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt (whose baby pics were purchased by People for $4.1 million)? As Flavor Flav and those guys from the Coors Light commercials would say: TWINS!

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Is there any mid-February tradition more cherished than the announcement of the Dancing with the Stars cast? These dozen brave, ballroom soldiers--of wildly varying Q-ratings and coordination skills--are plucked from every conceivable branch of celebrity, thrown into chest-bearing vests and horrifying baby doll dresses, and shuffled onto a well-greased dance floor. And it's all for America's perverse, compound-fracture-curious pleasures. Revealed last night on Dance War: The Chatterbox Gaytalian Strikes Back, and repeated again this morning on GMA, the sixth season brings Dancing a higher caliber of "star" than ever:

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