Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Angie Hart On The Morning Show Yesterday
4:18PM Jess McGuire | This is a nice clip of Angie Hart performing ‘Stop Buying Things’ on The Morning Show yesterday.
Isn’t it lovely? And look at Facebook hater/Mitch Hedberg lover Dan Luscombe gently but powerfully work that guitar! Phwoaaar – ladies form an orderly queue, etc…
We are, of course, deeply disappointed Angie lied to the good people of Channel Seven by claiming she hadn’t performed Accidently Kelly Street for anyone in yeeeaaars when our Serious Journalism revealed late last year that she belted out an a capella version for a small child in Adelaide during her October tour (and whatever happened to that “only for people under the age of eight” rule, anyway? THE HOSTS OF THE MORNING SHOW ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY OVER THE AGE OF EIGHT, WOMAN, WHY DO YOU FIB?) but all in all, this is a charming performance and we give everyone involved three thumbs up.
MORE: Angie Hart on MySpace. More » 
Eric Bana Does The Gentlemanly Thing And Steps Into ScarJo Vs Natalie Catfight; Loses Eye, Dignity
1:56PM Clem Bastow | Our Eric Bana continues to prove what a top bloke he is on his rounds in Hollywood, today taking the time out to let everyone know that the rumoured feud between his The Other Boleyn Girl co-stars Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson is, in fact, not true (although he could have just shut up and stepped aside while the pair pashed on the red carpet, but you know, whatever).
The homegrown hunk went out of his way to insist the screen sisters got on famously while pressing the flesh at the Berlin Film Festival.
“I hate to break it to you but actors really do love each other,” Bana said.
“It’s a crazy job and we put ourselves in vulnerable positions.
“I don’t care if it sounds corny but it’s true – you’re part of a brotherhood, and protect each other.”
While we’re not sure just how Scarlett and Natalie would feel at being called members of a brotherhood, we’re sure they appreciate the sentiment behind it.
However, there is one thing that has been troubling us about this story, and it isn’t Eric’s gender-blind ways or Scarlett and Natalie’s kiss. It’s the photo of the pair of them on the red carpet, in which Natalie reminded us rather alarmingly of someone we haven’t seen for a while. Our Photoshop whizzes have whipped up a little ‘Separated At Birth’ for your delectation:
We don’t want to scare you, Natalie, but you might want to go and get checked out for nodules, you know, as a precautionary measure.
We’ve just got a strong feeling about this, and our grandmother once predicted that the old woman across the road would come down with terrible haemmorhoids, so this sort of premonition stuff is in our blood. More » 
Where The Bloody Hell Are Lara’s Boosies?
1:48PM Clem Bastow | Remember last year in April, how topless photos of Lara Bingle “surfaced” on the German GQ website, and the resulting hordes of click-happy blokes crashed the site, and Lara was all “you betrayed me!” and the photographer was all “nuh uh!”?
Well, you best take your deja vu medication, because like the Time Warp, it’s all happening again!
Yes, and while we’re not sure the same photo can “surface” twice, that didn’t stop News Ltd from breathlessly reporting the story and providing rudey nudey links to the shots without so much as an “NSFW!”
SHE looked like the girl next door when she was in Adelaide for the Gerard McCabe Jewellers Celebrity Tennis Challenge late last year. But Lara Bingle’s topless past has come back to haunt her – again.
The Aussie model and partner of Aussie cricket captain-in-waiting Michael Clarke, who first got our attention as the star of the “Where the bloody hell are you” campaign, is on display on German website GQ.
It’s the same website which last March caused Bingle grief and sent Australian males spending a lot of time with their PCs.
Yes, it’s the same website – and the same photo, dudes! They even linked to it way back in April here.
Either we spend too much time looking at classy nude pictures of cheery tourism models, or someone at the News Ltd scandal desk needs to have their eyesight checked.
Or perhaps they’re just confused because this time Lara doesn’t seem to be shooting black starbursts out of her nipples? More » 
Kerry Katona’s Reality Series Obviously In Frontrunner To Take Out Newly-Minted Pulitzer Prize For Television
1:29PM Clem Bastow | We’ve complained in the past about how much we envy the Brits their trashtastic celebreality programming, but we think they may have come up with the ultimate blow to any other country’s aspirations in the same genre, by allowing Former Celebrity Mum of The Year Kerry “My Drug Hell”/”My Pregnancy Scare”/”My Back Room Needs Renovating So Make The Cheque Out To Cash Thanks” Katona in front of a camera with her new series, Crazy In Love, which is designed to show the public how loving her marriage with Mark Croft is – but like so many who have gone before her (Jessica, Britney, Anna Nicole, Flavor Flav), it hasn’t turned out exactly as sympathetically as she might have hoped.
The picture we’ve chosen to illustrate this piece is from the show, a scene where Kerry strips down – pregnant – to do a “sexy” photo shoot. And there are many more unbelievable screen caps here, just begging to be LOLKERRY’d.
The couple allowed TV crews into their lives to film MTV documentary Kerry Katona: Crazy in Love to prove that despite rumours of a troubled relationship, their marriage is stronger than ever.
But their plan may have backfired, with the pair spending much of last night’s debut program telling one another to “shut your face” and “shut your trap.”
Making a splash: the pair regularly told one another to ’shut your face’ during last night’s show
Leaving charm at the door, Mark was also filmed saying: “She’s like a bad fart, she lingers but she does go away.
“I’m romantic, I often just say to her spontaneously lets go out and get a meal. Kerry’s never took me out for a meal, she doesn’t appreciate the things I do for her.
“I show my affection and love for you and you just show me hatred.”
It goes without saying, naturally, that if any UK-based Defamer Australia pals feel like whacking a tape in for this one and sending it over post haste, we will be forever thankful.
Judging by the comments on that story, we think the British public liked it, too: “Poor, poor unborn baby. With a selfish, vain, odious creature like Kerry Katona for a mother and a scruffy, common, ugly wimp for a father the poor bairn doesn’t stand a chance. Why on earth would a couple like that even contemplate bringing a child into their world. They need to grow up themselves first.”
Winner! More » 
Now We Ain’t Sayin’ Ben Cousins Is A Golddigger…
1:23PM Clem Bastow | One would think that, in this notoriety-disguised-as-genuine-fame days we live in, Ben Cousins would be high at the top of any PR lackey’s guest list. After all, if Corey can get an agent and public appearance royalties, surely Mr ‘Such Is Life’ could at least expect a few free drinks and a goodie bag?
Well, it appears we may have the freebie industry all wrong, as Cousins only made it into MTV Australia’s Good Vibrations/Kanye West afterparty thanks to the gift of his gab.
Management from the music channel MTV – the key media sponsors of the festival – were stunned when the notorious party boy talked his way past security manning the entry and into the exclusive, invitation-only party in the VIP tent.
While celebs and rockers including Erika Heynatz, Alex Dimitriades, Cypress Hill and N’fa mingled in the VIP party, Cousins kept a low profile after crashing the event with a mate around 4pm.
“He was never invited to our party but obviously used his name to get in,” an MTV spokeswoman said yesterday.
“It created a real buzz in the room because he’s such a well-known party boy – everyone was saying ‘did you see Ben Cousins?”‘
Now, correct us if we’re wrong, but if MTV could appreciate the “buzz” Cousins caused once he entered the party, they would’ve thought to invite him in the first place?
Or maybe this is ALL just some sort of elaborate, Matrix-esque effort to make us think that the world of guest lists and PR and “don’t you know who I am” still exists and that fame is actually discerning, when we know that the reality is that any nonentity who shows their boobs on Big Brother can be the subject of an ‘In Depth’ profiling just years later. More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Amy Is Either Really Sad About Blake, Or She Killed A Man In Prison
1:14PM Clem Bastow | Amy Winehouse found a novel way to react to the news that her No Good™ husband Blake Fielder-Civil had overdosed in prison – instead of, you know, visiting him in the prison hospital, or sending flowers, she did what all good wives would do in a similar situation: she went to get a bucket of KFC to drown her sorrows. Cheers!
However, what has the UK tabs aflutter is the fact that Winegums chose to mark the sorry occasion by sporting a drawn-on teardrop under her eye:
The singer who is battling her own recovery from crack and heroin addiction was seen in Camden with a black teardrop painted on her left cheek, and looked tired and subdued.
Amy appeared to have used the eyeliner she draws her trademark thick black eye make-up on with, to add the mournful facial decoration.
Naturally we are certain that dear old Winegums is doing this to signify her sorrow at Blake’s misfortune, but we couldn’t also help recalling that – in prison – a teardrop tatt quite often implies that you have committed a murder whilst incarcerated.
Either that or you’re a kiddy fiddler. More » 
Charlotte Church Is Actually Very Amusing!
1:06PM Jess McGuire | A few years back, Welsh warbler (and now mother of one) Charlotte Church was the host of her own show in the UK, cleverly titled The Charlotte Church Show. The only thing we really knew about her telly program was that it was the place Amy Winehouse delivered – with the help of Charlotte – a disastrous (and allegedly drunken) cover of Billie Jean, but apparently it didn’t do too badly, and a week or so ago Channel 4 announced that Charlotte’s show, on hiatus after the birth of her first child, would be making a return mid-2008.
Why are we telling you all this?
Because we just watched the following sketch featuring a disguised Charlotte interviewing Kerry Katona (you know her, right?) and surprised ourselves by laughing, as they say, out loud. We kinda wish the show was shown in Australia.
Charlotte’s comments about Delta Goodrem’s future husband Brian McFadden were especially enjoyable.
And after the jump? Another interview (Church-less, alas) featuring Kerry Katona talking to celeb gossip site HolyMoly whilst scoffing hot chips. Just because. More » 
11:57AM Mark Graham | Give some credit to Harper’s Bazaar photog Jeff Reidel for convincing Frances Bean Cobain to strike an Evita Peron pose in the newest issue of the magazine. While we’re pretty sure that the meta-ness of dressing up as a character that one of her mother’s biggest rivals once portrayed on the silver screen was lost on the young Miss Cobain, we here at Defamer HQ are eating it up as if it were a late-afternoon sandwich made by none other than Marshall McLuhan himself. Speaking of which, we can’t wait for the day when a wildly drunk and bloated Frances Bean crashes a televised interview of Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon. We’re sure the look on the animatronic Kurt Loder’s face is gonna be priceless. [Harper's Bazaar via Gawker] More »
Call Us Cynical…
11:39AM Jess McGuire | … but, dear Sydney Confidential, is it really possible to justify a special “in depth” section on your website for Krystal Forscutt? Heath Ledger we can understand, Kim Kardashian not so much… but Krystal?
Is there any depth to the massively jugged Zoo Weekly lass? We’ve perused your special Forscutt feature page and from what we can tell, it’s essentially a diary of the adventures of her norgs, with the linked pieces filled with words and terms like “busting”, “ample”, “pump up”, “personal assets”, and “naked ambition” which gives the whole thing a delightful Carry On! feel.
Krystal’s tits visit a game show!
Krystal’s tits go to East Timor!
Krystal’s tits go to Channel Seven to audition for It Takes Two!
Krystal’s tits look for property in Bondi!
Still, any excuse for a picture gallery, eh?
WE STILL LOVE YOU, CONFIDENTIAL!
We just don’t understand why you think a special Krystal Forscutt section would be appealing to people clicking their way through the maze that is The Interwebs.
Oh, right. As you were. More » 
