Tuesday, February 12, 2008
News Ltd Photo Editors Attempt To Kickstart Lolunderbelly Meme; Residents Of “File-Sharing Era” Unimpressed
6:28PM Clem Bastow | While we’re still sulking about the fact that Underbelly has been banned from airing in Victoria (harrumph, thanks a lot, Justice Betty King, whoever YOU think you are, etc), we a) naturally thought “Oh well, time to hop on the P2P networks get our friends in Sydney to tape it for us” and thus, b) were mightily amused by this chilling News Ltd mock-up of what might happen in this heady technological era where banning a television show is NO OBSTACLE to people on the internets (click for full size):
We’re particularly amused by the portentous caption, “BitTorrent…” – that ellipsis says so much – “almost certainly undermine”, etc. Just imagine it being read out by a Fox News announcer with all the relevant (i.e. irrelevant) emphasis on certain words, or perhaps in the same tone as the old Grim Reaper campaign. And why only “63%”? Is it a coded message? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
Even the headline of the story is over the top: “Underbelly ban useless in file-sharing era”.
USELESS!
WATCH OUT FOR YOUR PASSWORDS!
EPIC LULZ, NEWS LTD D00DZ! More » 
Katherine Heigl Isn’t Really 45 Years Old, She Just Has A 45 Year Old’s Haircut
12:38PM Mark Graham | No, that’s not Martha Raye. That’s Katherine Heigl. But we can see how you got the two confused. Speaking of young(ish) girls who look at least 15 years older than their actual age, we’re pretty sure this blind item is about this girl. Pretty solid (if unspectacular) piece in this weekend’s New York Times Magazine about 2007’s breakthrough performances. Jerry O’Connell learns the hard way that lightning never strikes the same place twice. So will anyone who watches this video. Note to Scarlett Johansson – The next time that a director asks you to shoot a movie alongside Natalie Portman, insist on on wearing makeup. It will only help your cause, trust us. More »
The Strike May Be Over, But The Struggle Never Ends
11:11AM Mark | Due to an arcane by-law in the WGA constitution, no strike can officially be called off until one the Guild’s longest-tenured and most visible members appears on television to ritualistically recite the story of Lew Wasserman’s Toilet, in which the legendary Hollywood mogul supposedly dismissed the idea of paying residuals by saying, “My plumber doesn’t charge me each time I flush the toilet.” Thankfully, comedian and tenured Oscar gag-writer Bruce Vilanch completed this curious formality earlier today on CNN, allowing the rest of the strike-cancellation process to proceed as scheduled. More »BREAKING: Channel Nine’s ‘Underbelly’ Banned In Victoria
11:10AM Jess McGuire | Great. When we lived in New South Wales, ‘Blue Murder’ was banned. Now we’re in Victoria, ‘Underbelly’ has been banned. If outraged family groups would like anything remotely interesting scheduled to appear on television banned in Queensland, Western Australia, or South Australia, we’ll call the removalists.
From AAP -
MELBOURNE, Feb 12 – A Supreme Court judge has banned the Nine Network’s Underbelly series in Victoria until completion of murder trial over which she will preside.
More » 
Report of Hilton-Lohan Grammys Catfight Does Surprisingly Little To Fill The Aching Void
10:52AM Seth | Hey, we know what everyone could use right about now! A probably fake Paris Hilton/Lindsay Lohan catfight story, set at Timbaland’s Grammys party, and ripped from the pages of a sundry British tabloid. Are we right? Of course we’re right! Take it away, Mirror UK: More »
David Letterman Wants To Tear The Clothes Off Of Blake Lively
10:48AM Mark Graham | Dave Letterman has a long history of getting flirty with his guests. From Madonna to Drew Barrymore, from Julia Roberts to any one of the countless number of leggy supermodels he’s talked to over the years, Diamond Dave has never been one to shy away from batting his proverbial lashes at his guests. Depending on his mood, this flirtatiousness generally takes shape in either a slew of complimentary bon mots or, when he’s feeling aggressive, a subtle graze of the knee. But when Gossip Girl Blake Lively showed up on the set on Friday night proclaiming that Dave was one of her “childhood crushes”, the sexual tension between the two was not only palpable, it approached the level of David Addison and Maddie Hayes. More »
Warney Wants To Take You To A Gay Bar, Gay Bar, Gay Bar!
10:38AM Jess McGuire | It seems our Aussie cricketers know who to turn to when they want to have a jolly old knees up – it’s former champ and living proof of the Spanish Flea-esque powers of a suitably raunchy text message, Mr Shane Warne! The Herald Sun reports today that members of the Australian cricket team decided to kick their heels up after their loss to Pakistan with a night on the town with Warney, and where did he take them? Why, a “gay-friendly” venue, of course.
They may have lost to India but that didn’t stop the Australian cricketers from letting their hair down at a most unlikely Prahran nightspot on Sunday night.
Led by their former champion teammate Shane Warne, they celebrated long and hard at gay-friendly Love Machine.
Among the players partying were big stars Brett Lee, Michael Clarke, Adam Gilchrist,and Andrew Symonds.
“I didn’t realise it was a gay night,” Warne was heard joking when the cricketers arrived.
LOLOLOLOLOL GUD ONE SHANE!!1!
We’d suggest that taking their post-game celebrations to a rainbow flavoured nightspot may have been a wise choice by the Aussie cricketers, considering Shane Warne’s colourful history with assorted ladies whilst out on the prowl (and the seemingly endless parade of tell alls to New Idea said encounters inspire) but the man has proven time and time again that physical distance need not be a problem when one has their trusty mobile phone in the palm of their hand, and a burning desire to “kick” someone’s “puppy”. More » 
10:31AM Defamer Hollywood | When it comes to getting every last detail concerning Nicole Richie’s eating habits, partying habits and exact partying schedule (down to the minute!), Us Weekly truly is the Economist of its genre. Reporting that new parents Nicole Richie and Joel Madden attended “Four Parties in Just Two Days!”, the weekly takes gossip hounding to a whole new level. In this one story alone, there are no less than five time-stamps detailing the duo’s every move and remark. For example: “She sipped on a tiny glass of champagne at 1:12 a.m. before heading home to check up on Harlow at 1:48 a.m.” Thanks, Us! Not only were we on the edge of our seat wondering how large her champagne flute was, but the other night at 1:48am, we couldn’t sleep without knowing for sure that Harlow Richie Madden was “checked up on.” We feel so pacified we’re not even gonna step out for our daily stress-relieving smoke break. [Usmagazine.com] More »
Family Groups Not Crash Hot On ‘Underbelly’; Sky Blue, Water Wet
9:54AM Clem Bastow | Incredibly enough, it turns out that the conservative family groups of Australia are not too keen on the sound of Channel Nine’s upcoming (pending legal outcomes!) drama series Underbelly!
This may have had something to do with the “viral” video circulating featuring a pasted-together montage of a) gun shots, b) sexy scenes and c) the exceptional use of the word “f–k” from the show (we like Callan Mulvey’s Graham Kennedy-esque turn).
The Daily Tele has ‘censored’ the video for your pleasure, and while we can’t embed it, we can provide a laff-inducing screenshot (it’s available to watch here, and we highly recommend it – “Bang, bang – you’re f–ked” – genius!):
Anyway, it’s this vid that has the Australian Family Association up in arms.
AFA’s Angela Conway described the [M] classification as contemptuous.
“The programmers are showing contempt for children and their parents,” she said. “There will be a lot of teenagers still hanging around when the program starts and Nine is only making parents’ jobs harder.”
Perhaps someone should tell Ms Conway that the story here could actually be that Nine is in fact asking parents to do their own job and not expect major broadcasting corporations to do it for them! More » 
