What a triumphant return for Winegums Watch, eh?

Amy Winehouse won five out of the six Grammy Awards she was nominated for! That means Record Of The Year (for Rehab), Song Of The Year (Rehab), Best New Artist, Best Female Pop Vocal Performance (Rehab) and Best Pop Vocal Album (Back To Black).

She also performed live via satellite, singing You Know I'm No Good in a London Studio.

After receiving her fifth award, Record of the Year for Rehab, she hugged her mum, Janice, and said via a satellite link-up:

“To my mum and dad, for my Blake, my Blake incarcerated.

And, referring to this weekend’s blaze that ravaged Camden Market and one of her favourite haunts, The Hawley Arms pub, she added:

“and for London. This is for London because Camden Town is burning down.”

Incidentally she is still in rehab (the ironing is delicious etc etc) and we're sure that we're not alone in hoping that this success, coupled with more treatment, and with a Brit Awards performance with Mark Ronson to aim for, this could just get Amy back on track!

We've long ago established that the "OMG EAT A SAMMICH, NICOLE" / "WHO ATE ALL THE PIES, FAT FATTY" approach to body image issues within the media is neither healthy nor helpful, but what about when we reach the edges of celebrity (who, let's face it, will never be treated like actual human beings because they're in fact sophisticated automatons) and head into 'real people' territory?

It's still open for debate, but it is suggested that certain images and stories can have a negative effect upon people suffering - or recovering - from eating disorders; it's colloquially (amongst sufferers and recovered people) as "triggering".

Well, someone might like to take The Age Online's photo editors aside and have a gentle word to them about the concept of "triggering".

To wit, this graphic from TheAge.com.au's front page (linking to this story), which you will find after the jump - because, unlike CERTAIN MEDIA OUTLETS, Defamer Australia cares a lot:

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Yesterday the group of online pranksters known as Anonymous (yes, these guys - TRULY EPIC LULZ!) began their attack on Scientology with protests in Sydney.

About 150 people gathered at the Church of Scientology building in the Sydney CBD this morning, most of them carrying picket signs and wearing costumes or masks.

At 11am, when the protest was scheduled to start, staff inside the building set up a video camera pointed at the street below and locked the front doors. Two security guards stood outside the building and were later joined by several police officers.

The protestors, who said they had worn masks to remain anonymous and prevent possible legal action or retribution from the church, chanted "Church on the right, cult on the left", "Religion is free" and "We want Xenu".

After reading the article on Sunday, we went to the official Scientology Sydney website and began admiring the glossary of Scientology terms, specifically this one -

"A=A=A=A: anything equals anything equals anything. This is the way the reactive mind thinks, irrationally identifying thoughts, people, objects, experiences, statements, etc., with one another where little or no similarity actually exists. Everything is everything else. Mr. X looks at a horse knows it’s a house knows it’s a schoolteacher. So when he sees a horse he is respectful"

We would link to it but the site seems to be offline at the moment.

IS THIS YOUR DOING, ANONYMOUS?

The other day our friend Talia reminded us of someone we loved very deeply once upon a time.

PEPE THE KING PRAWN!

Our favourite Muppet ever, hands down.

"You tell heeem, an I weeeel smack you. I weeel smack you like a bad, bad donkey, okaay?"

LOVE YOU, PEPE!

If there's one Australian media tendency (aside from Angela Bishop continuing to be employed) that really gets to us time and time again, it's this odd obsession our press has with Australians being nominated for awards, and - inevitably - not winning them, and the accompanying moaning and wailing.

The latest installment in this curiously jingoistic journalistic trend is today's mopey piece from News Ltd on the topic of Cate Blanchett not winning in either of her BAFTA categories.

Blanchett was up for two gongs at the British Academy Film Awards (BAFTAs) - leading actress for her starring role as Queen Elizabeth 1 in Elizabeth: The Golden Age and best supporting actress for her portrayal of music legend Bob Dylan in the acclaimed biopic I'm Not There.

The Academy Award winning actress had been a hot favourite to take out the supporting actress prize, but lost out to Tilda Swinton for her role as a workaholic lawyer in the thriller Michael Clayton.

The 38-year Australian, who is pregnant with her third child, also missed out on the best actress award which went to Marion Cotillard for her portrayal of the revered but troubled French singer Edith Piaf in La Vie en Rose.

That froggy bitch, she made Our Cate cry!

Every year at awards season - whether it's the Oscars, Globes, BAFTAs, Tonys or the frigging Nobel Peace Prize - our press wets itself over our "special" arty people, revving themselves up so that in all but the most exceptional circumstances they are headed for a fall.

The darker side of this is the implication that in not winning, our nominated expats have in some way 'failed' us. Plenty of Australian athletes (for example) fail dismally all over the world, but that is apparently a worthy struggle against the odds; actors, musicians and other creative exports were lucky to be allowed to join the international party, but should probably look into a real job, etc etc.

Now, we love Our Cate as much as the best of them, and her I'm Not There performance was memorable (not so sure about The Golden Age...), but as inconceivable as it may be to True Blue™ papers like the News Ltd stable, we actually care who does win these awards, because - as shocking as it may seem - we actually watch films that don't feature Australian actors, actresses and artisans, too!

To continue to lead into stories in this fashion is to grossly underestimate the Australian public's cultural IQ.

In September last year, a charming reader named Casey sent us an email informing us of a new telly show in the States featuring a man who looked uncannily like Brendan Nelson - a man portraying THE DEVIL.

At the time, we were a little distracted and forgot to write about it, but now that Brendan Nelson is the leader of the Liberals, and the show Reaper is scheduled to appear on Channel 7 this year, we figured it might be worth doing a comparision. Does Brendan Nelson actually look like the Devil (or at least Reaper's representation of the Devil)?

The answer is a definite yes.

Former Neighbours star Kimberley Davies has announced she is pregnant with her third child to husband Jason Harvey. The pair already have two children.

What we found most interesting about the article was the headline "Kimberley Davies pregnant to cheating husband". Is he cheating on her right now, one wonders?

Kimberley Davies will be hoping for a drama-free pregnancy, with reports the actor and her love rat husband, Jason Harvey, have mended their marriage and are expecting their third child. Davies had threatened her doctor hubby with divorce three years ago, after discovering he'd been cheating on her with a colleague.

Ah, so he cheated on her three years ago. While that's obviously not a great thing, it's clear that Kimberley Davies has made a decision to stand by her man and work towards saving her marriage, and we can't help but ask ourselves - at what point will Jason have been publicly shamed enough for his past actions before he is simply referred to as Kimberley Davies husband, rather than her "love rat" or "cheating" husband?

Or is this an indication that the press and Jason Harvey have launched into whatever the media/individual equivalent is of an unhappy relationship, with the pair staying together for the kids (ie: the readers/Kimberley Davies' publicist) but Jason Harvey forever being referred to as "your bastard father" by our troubled mother.

Huh? What? We have no idea what we just said either. We crave coffee right now.

Harvey's five-year fling with US radiologist Alya Sheikh was uncovered after Davies found a series of incriminating emails and X-rated photos linking her husband to the other woman.

We originally misread this and thought Davies had found incriminating emails and x-rays, and then we wondered "Is there some sort of kinky scene for people into x-rays? Wow, what a great cover being a surgeon would be! Clever, Jason! No one would ever suspect you were getting off while you were at work!" but then we re-read it and realised we are quite stupid.

Looks as though Alice Burdeu is the first winner of the Next Top Model franchise (both Australian and internationally) to really be proving she was a deserving winner - to wit, she looks set to actually become just that, a top model! No doubt the contestants in the upcoming fourth cycle of AusNTM are feeling the bar set just a little too high for them.

She has already shot a Vogue Australia cover, and the Napoleon Perdis campaign, not to mention a successful few months modelling in Singapore - now she is installed in New York City, where she (and her agency, Elite) had hoped she'd book a couple of Fashion Week gigs. Well, she got more than a few - including Marc Jacobs, Proenza Schouler and Marchesa - and the fashion world has sat up and taken notice.

Alice has been featured on the front page of Style.com (Vogue's online incarnation), is still New York Magazine's front page Fashion Week image (walking for Marc Jacobs), and - most excitingly (though it may not so much as raise an eyebrow in those who don't follow the fashion world obsessively) touted as a Top 10 Newcomer on Models.com, which has rightly been described as "the NASDAQ of modelling". Former MDC newcomers include current mega models Agyness Deyn and Coco Rocha - so to say they know how to pick the stars would be an understatement.

Go Alice!

Defamer Australia public service announcement: we will be interviewing Alice this week and want YOU, the Defamer family, to be a part of it all. Leave your questions for the leggy stunner in the comments and tune back in later to read her responses!

We awoke this morning to the usual jumble of emails from iTunes Store, SMSPup and Blacklist Q. Timidly our friends and workmates, and sitting in the midst of it all was this:

Brazilian Butterfly Presents Noiseworks

For those of you who don't know, Brazilian Butterfly is a beauty therapy franchise that specialises in 'XXX' waxing - they're one of the best providers in the business, in fact - so we wondered, what is this 'Noiseworks'? Is it some new full-body cellulite reduction treatment? Is it setting off a jackhammer in the salon so that no one can hear your gurgled screams of pain?

We clicked through, and found that instead, it was the actual Noiseworks:

We understand gigs and tours being sponsored by things that are vaguely genre-specific (motorcycles, whiskey, McDonalds), but Brazilian waxing?

Will Jon Stevens & Co. be sporting Borat-style bathers onstage that require the utmost care in manscaping?

The mind boggles!

Defamer Australia readers may have seen the current art-wank Cadbury Flake ad doing the rounds in Australia, featuring Alyssa Sutherland passed out in a car in a field while the rain goes backwards (not to mention taking the Flake out of her mouth as though she realises it's made of goose shit), or something.

Well, in the UK, the Flake campaign has a 40-year history of hysterical phallic imagery such as women in bathtubs or wandering through fields of sunflowers "enjoying" (read: fellating) their chocolate penises bars.

So, you can imagine we were thrilled to hear that none other than Defamer Australia personal guru Joss Stone is the new Flake girl! And, typically, she's doing it in her own, nu-soul way.

"Many women in the public eye want to [promote] things like slimming pills and how to have bigger breasts. But I thought, maybe I could promote chocolate, 'cos it tastes good. People need to stop worrying about being skinny and things like that."

"Because it tastes good."

Dear Joss is about as complicated as the thought process that no doubt ran through the ad executives' heads in the '60s when they realised that women sucking off chocolate knobs would perhaps be a successful and lasting advertising campaign.

When we saw the beautiful pictures of Heath Ledger's family and friends (including former fiancee Michelle Williams) celebrating his life with a wake on Cottesloe Beach in Perth (one of his favourite surfing haunts, apparently) following a sombre day featuring a memorial service and funeral/cremation, we thought it was wonderful. Farewelling someone - particularly someone so young - is just as much about celebrating their life as it is mourning their death.

So, we were disappointed to see that the UK press had completely missed the point, and chose the occasion to stick the boot into them, with the title "Heath's family and fiancee mourn him in bizarre beach party".

For reals, dudes.

It was a strange end to an emotional day as mourners at Heath Ledger's funeral plunged into the sea laughing and giggling - still fully dressed.

The bizarre spectacle of supposedly grief-stricken guests messing about on the beach where Ledger had loved to surf came at the close of a moving and private ceremony in tribute to the actor.

Yes, how dare his family and friends take a moment to remember the good times and to bond with each other at the end of a month that psychological experts would likely describe as "ratshit" - what weirdos!

Honestly, is it too much to ask for the Brits to get over their stiff-upper-lip complexes for a few minutes?