Saturday, February 9, 2008
Dirty Texts, Smuggled Vodka, And Sober Chynas: Never A Dull ‘Celebrity Rehab’ Moment
9:10AM Seth | We’ve already acknowledged our powerlessness over the reality drug that is VH1’s Celebrity Rehab, so we’re not even going to preface this with any sort of disclaimer: This shit’s some high-grade, Z-list mess-amphetamine we’re dealing in here, and we’re proud to declare ourselves a bitch to its pipe. Where to start! Daniel dismissed himself from the program, for, as best as we can make out, sending (ballet-class enthusiast!) Mary Carey suggestive cellphone images of his little Baldwin–a scandal that quickly wreaked untold havoc on the carefully controlled atmosphere of their burnout biodome. Semi-regular series villain Vicki, who seems less a human than a relapse-hastening she-gremlin sent down to producers from story editor heaven, was caught smuggling vodka in via Vitamin Water bottle during a visit to Jeff. More »
Getting To Know Your Jesse Metcalfe Bashers: Introducing Mams Taylor
9:10AM Seth | With so little to go on as far as the identity of the squat, musclebound bruiser who gave Jesse Metcalfe a licking outside Boulevard 3 last night, we were thrilled to learn that In Touch has now officially unmasked the mystery clocker: It was Mams Taylor, who, as it turns out, is not an ugly stereotype of elderly African-American woman, but an aspiring rapper, and Taryn Manning’s boyfriend of four months. Mams’s MySpace page has been flooded with visitors since news spread of his vigilantism, praising him for expressing in flying knuckles what they could never quite put into words. His first statement on the incident is after the jump: More »
Rolling Stone Revelations: Britney Spears Is An ‘Inbred Swamp Thing’ Who ‘Wants Us To Know What We Did To Her’
9:08AM Defamer Hollywood | We can’t remember the last time we actually bought a hard copy of Rolling Stone. But with all the buzz surrounding this issue’s Britney Spears cover story, we found ourselves dashing to the news stand first thing this morning and tearing through the issue as we drank our morning coffee. Needless to say, the piece does not disappoint. What follows are some of our favourite slices from Vanessa Grigoriadis’ fascinating look of the person she describes as having “the most public downfall of any star in history.” More »
Celebrating Oscar’s Most Memorable ‘Fuck You’ Moments
9:02AM Mark | Apparently, network partner ABC is succumbing to the same “Which show are we going to put on?” panic as the Academy, as this promo teasing a “Oscar’s Best ‘Fuck You’ Moments” montage that would run during a clip-heavy, strike-crippled telecast has surfaced on the YouTubes. We hope it’s testing well; even if the WGA contract dispute is resolved in time to save the program, the normal awards ceremony could definitely be livened up by revisiting the infamous “It’s about fucking time, it’s been ten goddamn years since Pretty Woman, you ignorant shit-for-brains voters!” tirade Julia Roberts unleashed following her 2001 Best Actress win for Erin Brockovich. Oscars Promo [YouTube] More »
Terrifying ‘No Country’ Haircut Depressed Bardem, Induced Bouts Of Sexual Insecurity
8:50AM Mark | And The George “Fat Clooney” Clooney Memorial Oscar For Suffering In The Name of Award-Winning Art goes to No Country for Old Men’s Javier Bardem, whose willingness to be saddled with Anton Chigurh’s instantly iconic bowl-cut had serious psychological repercussions for the actor. Says co-star Josh Brolin: “He was depressed during the process…He felt like he wouldn’t have sex for three months. Full-blown depression. I mean, bad. (He) didn’t like the way he looked. He’d stay home for hours on end. He wouldn’t go out.” More »
Cold-Cocking Jesse Metcalfe: Famous Person Eats Knuckle-Sandwich!
8:48AM Seth | The cold-cocking of a minor celebrity outside a swanky Hollywood nightclub is hardly an uncommon experience, yet every time you see one–and thanks to TMZ’s sleep-deprived video stormtroopers you are about to–it’s as if you’re experiencing the exhilarating adrenalin rush for the very first time. More »
Paris Hilton Admits Running Secret Chihuahua Mill Out Of Her Home To An Appalled Ellen DeGeneres
8:44AM Seth | While it’s true we’ve rarely seen Harvard’s Woman of the Year Paris Hilton far from at least one member of her four-legged menagerie, had you asked us to guess just how many animals co-exist with her behind the walls of her gated estate, we would have probably thrown out a number like a half-dozen: a chihuahua, a kinkajou, a billy goat, couple ducks, maybe an emu for good measure. Never, however, in our wildest, animal-exploiting, poopie-bedsheet dreams, did the following occur to us: More »
Short Ends: Olivia Munn’s Fast Times At Weird Science High
8:36AM Mark Graham | The impossibly shiny-haired co-hostess of Attack Of The Show, Miss Olivia Munn, is the cover girl of this month’s Complex magazine. When you’re done watching the video from the saucily nostalgic photoshoot, take a look at the final photos in all their Munnsian glory. Or vice versa. Ben Foster + Ally Hilfiger = some of the best Polaroids we’ve seen in awhile. If you’re looking for somewhere to go swimming after midnight, it’s gonna have to be somewhere other than the Standard Hotel. Their request to extend their pool hours just got denied. Looks like that Variety ad just may have paid off. Corey Haim is set to shoot some “additional scenes” for Lost Boys 2. And lastly, Slate’s Dana Stevens takes a look at how the Juno backlash got its start. Yes, burger phones are mentioned. More »
One Year After Anna Nicole’s Death, Birkhead And Stern Still Finding Ways She Can Make Money
8:24AM Seth | On February 8, 2007, a devastated Defamer was glued to CNN, following Dr. Sanjay Gupta and the rest of AnnaDeath 360° team as they offered breathless updates on the not-entirely-shocking (yet still pretty traumatic) loss of Anna Nicole Smith. And yet here we are, a full year later, and Hollywood seems doomed to repeat its trainwreck-glamorizing mistakes. Meanwhile, Smith’s legacy carries on via the creepy gentleman-callers who dotted the love polygon that defined much of her life. Larry Birkhead, we well know through a series of soul-deadening The Insider exclusives, has been adjusting to life with his money-pooping paternity jackpot, most recently having plopped the toddler on a patch of grass he assured us was Anna Nicole’s resting place, and successfully baby-wrangled his daughter into saying the word “mama” for their cameras. More »
