Friday, February 8, 2008
Sad Hollywood Exodus Continues As Friends Fly In For Heath Ledger’s Funeral
10:14AM Clem Bastow | Throughout the last few weeks in the wake of Heath Ledger’s sad death, we’ve felt more than a little pang of sorrow for Australian supermodel Gemma Ward.
Ward was rumoured to be dating Ledger for the past couple of months (and that was more or less confirmed when her sister Sophie spoke of Ledger hanging out with the fam in Perth at Christmas) and she must be in a very confused place, particularly because in the eyes of the press, she’s not really “allowed” to grieve for him properly since they were only just starting to date.
She has apparently just flown home to Perth for Ledger’s funeral.
The sombre-looking Ward touched down in Perth as investigators concluded Ledger’s abuse of powerful prescription drugs led to a fatal “accidental overdose”.
Tests on Ledger’s blood detected six different drugs, including narcotic painkillers, anti-anxiety pills and sleep medication.
Ledger’s ex, Michelle Williams, touched down in Perth with the actor’s two-year-old daughter Matilda on Wednesday.
We must say, we’re very impressed at the way the press has respected the Ledger family’s request not to seek out the funeral or publish details of it.
If any snappers or reporters set up camp near the service, we’d hasten to guess they’d be taking a very swift chute straight to the fifth layer of hell – or at least to the dole queue. More » 
Ray Martin Bones Himself!
10:00AM Clem Bastow | When it comes to Australian television, there are some things in this world that are a given: Jeannie Little wearing something made out of Chux Superwipes and/or garbage bags, Darryl Somers cracking really bad dad jokes, and Ray Martin on Channel Nine.
Well, you can scratch that last item from the ledger, as the network’s golden son has quit in a huff! (Incidentally, he was probably more upset than in a huff; we just wanted to use that term, as we’ve long wanted to quit a job of our own in a huff, but it’s hard to walk triumphantly out of your living room in your pajamas the sort of high-powered and five-star offices the Defamer Australia crew frequent in a hurry.)
It goes without saying that this is massive news; he’ll be a big hole in Nine’s roster of stars, which is steadily dwindling – and we can’t see Tracey Grimshaw being elevated to Ray’s echelon in his wake, somehow.
Ray Martin, on a $1.2 million salary, has been unhappy at the restructuring and cost cutting at Nine and has been a constant critic of his employer.
His walkout is a major blow to the once mighty network which has fallen hard into second place in the ratings, and third in advertising revenue.
Martin last night said he was quitting to become a “gun for hire”.
“It is not hard to jump off the edge of the carport and fly again,” he said.
Word is that the network is happy to see the back of him, having grown increasingly tired of his diva (divo?) tendencies and constant grandstanding.
Ray’s been at Nine for over twenty years now, so we’ll be interested to see just how he adjusts to being said “gun for hire”. The stench of Nine is so deeply ingrained in him that we’ll be surprised if anyone will pick him up as a roving reporter now! More » 
CNN Crisscrosses Globe To Ask Angelina Jolie About Iraqi Refugee Crisis, What’s Going On With Her Uterus
9:50AM Mark | Having dispensed with ten or so totally boring minutes discussing the plight of millions of Iraqi refugees with U.N. Goodwill Ambassador Angelina Jolie, CNN correspondent Arwa Damon felt that she’d established enough of a rapport to end their conversation by finally broaching the only subject the network’s viewers really care about: “Hey, Angie, are you all knocked up with Brad’s beautiful twinsies or what?” From CNN’s transcript of Jolie’s interview on the refugee crisis: Damon: There are reports out of Hollywood that… (laughs) Jolie: Oh don’t. Stop it. (interupts I had to ask) Stay true to your tradition. You’re CNN. Don’t do it! More »
The Justin Timberlake/Britney Spears Info You Shouldn’t Want, But Do Anyway
9:46AM Defamer Hollywood | Remember that little tidbit about Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears that the The NY Daily News declared just yesterday to be “too vulgar” to print? Well, as everyone who wrote us this week to complain about our Sarah Silverman Is Fucking Matt Damon headline will attest, we’re not above (or below) getting our occasional vulgar on. While the tale of Britney and Justin tale pales in comparison to the legend of the Butterscotch Stallion, we’ll at least do you the service of burying the fingerlickin’ details after the jump. More »
Kirsten Dunst Delivers Herself To Cirque Lodge’s Capable Starlet-Drying Hands
9:40AM Seth | Skipping past the block-long line of bottomed-out starlets shivering in their heels as they hoped to gain entrance to Utah’s Cirque Lodge, all it took was one weary gaze cast up from beneath a floppy-brimmed hat for the doorman at the hottest rehab facility in the country to unhook the velvet rope from its stanchion and give Kirsten Dunst VIP access. Inside, the Spider-Man series star, for years now dubbed Kirsten Drunkst by an unfeeling tabloid blogging press (curious as to why? This 2005 AskMen.com article, “Why do people call her Kirsten Drunkst?” should answer all your crunk Mary Jane questions) was instantly transported to the Lindsay Lohan Welcome Center and Karaoke Facility for a sparkling cider brunch. More »
Harvard Offers Paris Hilton Celebutard Emeritus Status
9:30AM Seth | It’s truly been a week for healing and personal triumphs for Paris Hilton, who, fresh off her Late Show with David Letterman appearance, in which the talk show host publicly apologised for their last contentious meeting and offered the heiress full access to his Ed Sullivan Theatre to plug her various, completely immaterial projects and ventures, was also crowned “woman of the year” yesterday by the Harvard Lampoon. It was an honour she showed up in person to accept, where she gave the Ivy League institution her trademarked, temperature-based papal blessing: “Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine standing here on the steps of the Harvard Lampoon receiving the woman of the year award,” she told the students gathered outside the castle-like, red-brick building that houses the Lampoon. “You guys are so hot,” she added. “Harvard’s hot.” More »
‘Vanity Fair’ Hitchcock Portfolio Proves Renee Zellweger Did Not Overemote In Vain
9:22AM Seth | Having already offered you a glimpse at the making of the Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue Hitchcock portfolio, including some of the most incredible fake-emoting from Renée Zellweger we’ve seen since Oscars cameras caught Keira Knightley trying to look happy about Reese Witherspoon’s Best Actress win, we thought it only fitting to now show you the final product. We put a few of our favourites after the jump; the rest can be found here. Pay particular attention for one classic shot of Seth Rogen fleeing from a crop-duster that finally answers the age-old question, “What if Cary Grant was a paunchy, 20-something Canadian Jew?” More »
‘Parnassus’ Marketing Machine Kicks Into Gear, Despite Uncertain Fate Of Film
8:55AM Defamer Hollywood | Terry Gilliam’s pledge that the Parnassus show will indeed go on just got a shot of quasi-validity. Amid reports that production has been shut down, the movie’s online marketing campaign began taking root this week. Not only did (an admittedly bare bones) official website go live, fanboy outpost Quick Stop managed to get their hands on the first official teaser image (with another to follow). However, there’s still one little problem that needs resolving. Namely, what to do with Heath Ledger’s remaining scenes? More »
Nothing Comes Between Katherine Heigl And Her Nicotine — Not Even A Little Burglary!
8:50AM Mark Graham | We’d like to begin this post by emphatically stating that getting your car broken into SUCKS. We have been there, it is awful, and we genuinely empathize with Katherine Heigl and her emasculated husband Joshua during this time of need. But, having gotten that out of the way, we’d like to point out a few of the more absurd things about this clip. First and foremost, we’ll begin with TMZ’s editorial decision to set up a clip about a car being burgled by using a scene from … wait for it … The Great Muppet Caper! More »
