Thursday, February 7, 2008
Letter From The Editor
3:19PM Jess McGuire | Hello loyal and ridiculously attractive looking readers!
How are we all?
READERS: GET ON WITH IT
Fair enough.
To save time, I am simply going to cut and paste from the description section of the Facebook group “JESS IS SHAVING HER HEAD FOR CHARITY (AND BECAUSE SHE IS SLIGHTLY MAD)” – can you tell what’s coming?
At approximately 7:15pm EDST on Sunday 3rd February, I was suddenly struck by the overwhelming urge to sign up for the World’s Greatest Shave.
I don’t know why, I cannot explain it. I think it was a directive from The Gods and who am I – a mere mortal – to scoff in the face of their logic?
So I will be raising money for the Leukemia Foundation, which is nice. You can sponsor me online via my MyShave page -
http://www.worldsgreatestshave.com/profile.php?id=390400
- or you can wait until I pounce upon you outside your house and mug you for your cash. Your choice.
You can join this group even if you can’t afford to sponsor me. I will take it as a sign of support, and you can still turn up to wherever the fuck it is I decide to rid myself of my beautiful girlish hair. I suppose it will be a place which serves alcohol. I may return to drinking (one night only stylez) in order work up the courage.
I will look alright bald, won’t I? I figure it will give my eyebrows a chance to shine like the sculpted fierce displays of follicle wonder they are.
(Feel free to give me wigs and beanies and shizz. I keep visualising myself with no hair, and in my head I immediately morph into a Hare Krishna. I DON’T WANT TO DRESS LIKE THEM!)
You can also use this group to contribute amazing photos of bald/insane/bald and insane celebrities for inspiration.
So there you have it. If you would like to help me raise money, you can sponsor me here and if you’re on Facebook, you are most welcome to add the “event” to your diaries.
I am a bit fucking nervous about this, you know.
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When ‘Psychopathic’ Just Becomes Plain Ol’ Adorable
2:20PM Jess McGuire | The other day we were so thrilled to see photos of Renae Lawrence and Schapelle Corby getting on like the proverbial big house on fire. The longer we started at the pictures, the more we found ourselves quietly humming a certain anthem by Bad English.
Sometimes I wonder
How I’d ever make it through
Through this world without having you
I just wouldn’t have a clue
Cause sometime it seems
Like this world’s closing in on me
And there’s no way of breaking free
And then I see you reach for me
Sometimes I wanna give up, wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight, and then I see you baby,
And everything’s alright, everything’s alright
When I see you smile, I can face the world, ohhh
You know I can do anything
When I see you smile, I see a ray of light ooh
I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile, baby when I see you smile at me
Oh yeah
Baby there’s nothing in this world
That could ever do,
What the touch of your hand can do
It’s like nothing that I ever knew, hey
And when then rain is falling,
I can feel it, cause you’re here with me now
I wanna look at ya baby
It’s all I’ll ever need, It’s all I’ll ever need
When I see you smile, I can face the world ooh
You know I can do anything
When I see you smile, I see a ray of light ooh
I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile, baby, baby when I see you smile at me
Sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight
Then one look at ya baby
And everything’s alright,
Hey, everything’s alright
So right
When I see you smile, I can face the world ooh
You know I can do anything, yeah
When I see you smile, I see a ray of light ooh
I see it shining right through the rain, yeah
When I see you smile, yeah I can face the world, ooh
You know I can do anything
When I see you smile, oh yeah,
Baby when I see you, smile
Smile at me
More » I Saw Goody Facebook With The Devil!
1:56PM Jess McGuire | Another day, another journalist whinging about why Facebook is the most evil thing facing humankind at the moment. Today’s piece in the Daily Mail is cleverly titled “Are you on Facebook? And is it ruining your life?” which is probably a question we could all ask ourselves from time to time.
Here’s are some example as to why all of us who choose to waste our lives on Facebook are complete dickheads.
- Apparently some idiot student named Laura uses the line “Are you on Facebook” as her opener at parties! SYMPTOMATIC OF THE SHALLOWNESS OF TODAY’S “YOUTH”, IT WASN’T LIKE THAT IN THE OLD DAYS, ETC!
- Morons attract morons, and so Laura’s boyfriend Tim used Facebook to look for photos of her smiling near other boys and then dumped her! SOMEHOW ALL FACEBOOK USERS ARE ALL TO BLAME FOR THIS!
- Conversations on Facebook are banal! (Consider the following: “Does anyone like the rain?” “No, it spoils my hair and I don’t like the rain drops on my glasses.”) OH JOURNALIST TOM ROWSTORNE, PERHAPS FACEBOOK DOESN’T MAKE PEOPLE DULL, PERHAPS YOU ARE JUST FRIENDS WITH DULL PEOPLE?
- A professor who is an expert on friendship (!!!!) is saddened by Facebook! “I have looked at Facebook and am depressed by the triviality of it. “It is all ‘How do you feel?’ . . . ‘I have got a hangover’ . . . that sort of stuff.” WHICH IS NOT SOMETHING YOU’D EVER DARE SAY TO THE FACES OF YOUR REAL ‘OFFLINE’ FRIENDS!
Read the whole thing for yourself. More » 
YouTube Clip Of The Day
1:34PM Jess McGuire | Today’s clip is another not-actually-on-YouTube video but let’s move on, shall we?
Reader Hirsty sent this clip in, and we enjoyed it very much. The video is described thusly by the website Pugorama – “Imagine throwing a party for all the big entertainment websites on the internet – Would the site stereotypes that turned up get along with each other – Or would it turn into all-out war ???”
Stay with it until you see the person representing Facebook, we literally LOL’d.
(click on the picture to get to the site) More » Heath Ledger Tribute Night: We Suspect G-A-Y Really Just Wanted Everyone To Dress Up Like Cowboys
12:43PM Jess McGuire | Could London nightclub G-A-Y be responsible for the least tasteful tribute to the late Heath Ledger?
WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH: Erm… (spits tobacco, marries family member)
Shut up, Westboro Baptist Church.
G-A-Y, famous for hosting performances by The Minogues, Madonna, Girls Aloud and the Scissor Sisters (amongst many others), will be encouraging patrons to honour the memory of Heath Ledger on Saturday the 23rd February. How exactly?
Erm…
G-A-Y Goes Back To BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
As a tribute to HEATH LEDGER
A Celebration Of One Of The Greatest Gay Love Stories & something HEATH LEDGER will be most remembered for
FREE ENTRY if you come dressed as a cowboy
FREE Cowboy Hat If You Are single To Identify If You Are looking For A New Love. Which One Would You Be Ranch Hand Ennis Del Mar (HEATH LEDGER) or Rodeo Rider Jack Twist (JAKE GYLLENHAAL)
Be The queen Of The Rodeo & Ride The Bucking Bronco
For Those Of You who haven’t seen BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, (where have you been), it’s an epic love story, set against the sweeping landscapes of Wyoming and Texas, that tells the story of two young men–a ranch-hand and a rodeo cowboy–who meet in the summer of 1963 while driving cattle on a mountain range. They unexpectedly forge a lifelong connection, one whose complications, joys and tragedies provide a testament to the endurance and power of love.
Now it’s time for you to become cowboys for the night, act like a cowboy, ride like a cowboy, maybe find love like a cowboy & get in FREE if you’re dressed like a cowboy
THE RODEO IS COMING TO G-A-Y as we pay tribute to HEATH LEDGER
We are kind of speechless. More » 
Revisting Vanity Fair’s Doomed Class Of 2000
11:30AM Mark | To celebrate the 14th year of its always breathlessly anticipated Hollywood Issue, Vanity Fair has posted an online gallery of every meticulously composed Annie Leibovitz gatefold cover in the series, which, when unfurled, generally provide a stunning, at-a-glance guide to up-and-comers ready to enjoy a speedy ascent to superstardom. More »
Britney Spears: ‘I don’t know who you think I am, bitch, but I’m not that person’
11:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Just when you thought you were tired of reading about Britney Spears, the next issue of Rolling Stone promises a DOOZY of a cover story that’s sure to be one of the most explosive reads of this young year. The story reportedly includes boob job confessions (!), shopping mall sobfests (!!) and cameos from Justin Timberlake so “vulgar” that the NY Daily News refused to put them in print (!!!). While vulgarity has become a staple in virtually every Britney story these days, this disturbing excerpt in which Britney’s Amex Black card gets declined at the mall pretty much redefines the word: A wail emerges from the cubby — guttural, vile, the kind of base animalistic shriek only heard at a family member’s deathbed. ‘Fuck these bitches,’ screams Britney, each word ringing out between sobs. She’s spitting, growling … ‘Fuck you, fuck people, fuck, fuck, fuck.’” All this in just an excerpt? Forgive us if our schadenfreude is showing, but we’re waking up at 7am on Friday, hungover or not, to get our hands on this one. THE TRAGEDY OF BRITNEY SPEARS [Rolling Stone] More »
Coroner: Heath Ledger Dead Of Accidental Prescription Drug Overdose
11:00AM Seth | This morning, the New York City medical examiner revealed the Heath Ledger autopsy results: His death was ruled an accidental overdose from five different prescription medications found in his system. (There was no trace, however, of the cocaine being shockingly ingested several feet away from him two years ago at the Chateau Marmont.) The official cause of death was from “acute intoxication by the combined effects of oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam (Valium), temazepam, alprazolam (Xanax), and doxylamine.” Developing… Heath Ledger Died of Accidental Overdose of Prescription Drugs [Usmagazine.com] M.E. Calls Ledger Death “Accident” [TMZ] More »
Hey Hey Hey Hey: A Video Tribute To Molly Ringwald On Her 40th Birthday
10:55AM Mark Graham | It’s days like this when we realise that the slow march of time will one day get us all. But rather than cower in the face of the impending onset of arthritis and Old Person Smell, we instead chose to assign Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer the enviable task of creating an `80s-tastic video tribute to everyone’s favorite icon of Reagan Era adolescence, Molly Ringwald. Happy 40th birthday, Molly — you’ll always be our favorite firecrotch. More »
