Wednesday, February 6, 2008
11:26AM Seth | Via our friends at BoingBoing, we bring you The 10 Star Wars Toys that Unintentionally Look Like Other Celebrities, a highly amusing gallery of action figures and their accidental doppelgangers that’s guaranteed to entertain. Meanwhile, fanboy memorabilia collectors who can’t wait until the end of spring for The Dark Knight merchandising to hit store shelves might finally be tempted to crack open that mint Slave Leia specimen and slip her into something a little more black-latexy. [toplessrobot.com] More »
Official Message From Melesbian C Regarding Cancelled Spice Tour
10:41AM Jess McGuire | Further to yesterday’s report regarding the Spice Girls cancelling their Australian tour (and the mighty fan wrath subsequently incurred), we wish to alert you to an official statement offered by Sporty Spice Mel C regarding her role in this tragic turn of events.
Melanie would like to make it perfectly clear that at no point has she refused to continue with the Spice Girls Tour.
She is very disappointed that the tour isn’t continuing at this stage and, as she does not have the family commitments of the other Girls, she is in the best position of all of them to continue.
Any accusation that it was Melanie’s reluctance to continue the tour that has brought about this situation is absolutely false.
So there you have it. Those other lazy bitches are to blame.
*Headline thanks to UK Correspondent Will. Defamer Australia wishes to note that we have no evidence Mel C has ever dived for clams, and we believe she is firmly in the I Heart Doodle camp when it comes to love. Truly. No libel suits, please. More » 
Forgotten Pop Gems Of Yesteryear (To Be An Ongoing Series, If We Can Be Bothered)
10:25AM Jess McGuire | Things we enjoy in ridiculously cheesy pop songs:
Lyrics penned with the help of a rhyming dictionary.
Said lyrics being penned with the added bonus of an English As A Second Language angle.
Grunting distorted rock guitar bringing chunky magic to the equation whilst still kept to a minimal volume so as not to scare the elderly (see also the collected solo works of one Carlisle, B)
One word – KEYCHANGE! Or maybe that’s two words. EITHER WAY, YES! YES! YES!
Vocals breaking/changing slightly due to the sheer epic emotion of it all (see also ‘Electric Blue’ by Icehouse, specifically the point at 3.13 in the song)
Video clips featuring the sartorial mistakes of yesteryear.
Therefore we are most pleased to shove down your throats our newfound love of Roxette’s blistering ballad ‘Fading Like A Flower’ which meets every single fucking one of those requirements.
Relive it right now.
(pumps fist in the air)
We also enjoyed the following comments made on the YouTube clip featured above.
hard as steel!
ISN’T IT THOUGH?
Marie is the only chick who can pull off that hairstyle without looking like a lesbian.
We’re not entirely convinced this is factually correct, but whatever. More » 
Brad Pitt’s Exceedingly Complex Plot To Secure A Brand New Motorcycle Thwarted By Tom Cruise
10:12AM Defamer US Edition | We never pictured the normally calm-as-a-cuke Brad Pitt as the hissy-fit type, but TMZ is reporting that the actor “threw a tantrum” when he learned the first Ducati Desmosedici RR motorcyle (retail price: $72,500) had been snapped up by another A-Lister. Namely, longtime Ducati enthusiast Tom Cruise (who had been promised the bike by Ducati’s North American chief). This news apparently infuriated Brad Pitt, who had allegedly already gone so far as to convince a bigwig at UPS to put a “shipping freeze” on all outgoing Ducatis until he got his. More »
Joss Stone Rediscovers Inner Style Icon, No Longer Needs To Throw Tea And Biscuits Across The Room In Appearance Related Frustration
9:27AM Jess McGuire | Poor ol’ Joss Stone has had a hard time of it over the last few years. No longer the flavour of the month she once was during those blissful days of Fell In Love With A Boy acclaim (or as those of us at Defamer Australia HQ prefer to define it, the diggin’ on yooooou, are you diggin’ on meeeeee era*), Joss Stone’s transatlantic accent has earned her the derision of her fellow Brits, and her attempts at follicle revamping have been largely mocked.
No more! Finally, Joss is getting some props from her countrymen.
She is known for her hippy style and laid back approach to fashion, but Joss Stone was bang on trend last night wearing a sultry rainbow striped bandage dress.
Her figure hugging frock, which showed off a newly toned figure, is the hottest item gracing the New York Fashion Week catwalks.
You hear that, Joss? BANG ON TREND! YOU WIN LIFE, PRECIOUS DEVON-BORN SOUL WUNDERKIND!
Unfortunately, we do think it’ll be a while before folk turn to Joss for political analysis.
Joss took a moment to speak about meeting First Lady Laura Bush at the Heart Truth Red Dress show a few days ago.
“I saw the Bush lady,” she said. “I care for American politics because it affects the rest of the world so much, but I just don’t really care for the Bush family.
“I’d actually met her before at the White House and it was like ‘Hey how are you,’ and then she was gone. I mean, to be fair, I guess she seemed like a nice enough chick, but I don’t really know.”
Hush up and continue looking fabulous, woman.
*Explanation: Defamer Australia’s Editor and Associate Editor were given, for some godforsaken reason, their own late night radio show on RRR a few years back. For the last year, we’ve regularly featured a ridiculous segment referred to as Joss Stone Primal Scream Therapy which basically consists of us grunting the lyrics “YEAAAAH, ARE YOU DIGGIN’ ON ME? YEAAAAAAAH I’M DIGGIN’ ON YOU NOW BABEEEEH, YEAAAAH DO YOU WANNA LIDDLE BIDDA MA LOVE?” (aka Super Duper Love) back and forth at each other until we get bored. Frightened guests on the show are also forced to participate in this debacle. Melbourne listeners and interweb streamers should be thankful Toni Childs Primal Scream Therapy – similar to Joss Stone Primal Scream Therapy but to the tune of Stop Your Fussin’ – didn’t take off. More » 
Dannii Minogue’s Chandeliers Are Destroying Her Sex Life!
9:14AM Jess McGuire | We are distraught at having to break the following heartbreaking news regarding Australia’s Got Talent judge Dannii Minogue and an unfortunate situation regarding lighting fixtures.
‘The X Factor’ judge – who recently confessed she is single and desperate to find a boyfriend – has been unable to invite anyone back to her place for weeks as the floor of her London home is covered in sparkling glass lamps.
A source close to the star told BANG Showbiz: “Dannii bought all these new chandeliers but the guys who delivered them wouldn’t put them up. She hasn’t been able to find anyone to install them and so she hasn’t been able to have anybody round for over a month – the floor is covered in bits of chandelier.
“Have anybody around” clearly being a nice euphemism for “rut in the privacy of her own home”, as far as we can tell. Terrible stuff! Whatever will Dannii do? The woman has needs, for god’s sake!
“She spends all her time at her friends’ houses.”
Ahh. Someone call Geldof and cancel VadgeAid – Dannii’s still scoring, just on the fold out bed at a mate’s place.
PHEW!
Thanks to our UK Correspondent Will for the heads up… LOVE YOU, WILLY!) More » 
Shocking Report: Vanity Fair Oscar Party Canceled
8:52AM Mark | [UPDATE after the jump.] In a potential development that flies in the face of the prevailing feelings of Cautious Optimism sweeping the town, Radar reports that Graydon Carter is canceling Hollywood’s favorite post-awards-ceremony orgy, the Vanity Fair Oscar party. (Which, you no doubt recall, was relocated to the CAA cafeteria to better facilitate the agency’s poaching of the winners.) More »
The Poo Finds Love Again With A Slightly Aged But Still Relatively Youthful Kitten
8:25AM Jess McGuire | Defamer Australia loves Mark Philippoussis and his turbulent love life.
Not too long ago, Mark turned to the power of reality television to find him some true romance, the general premise behind which being that The Poo would be given access to a group of “kittens” (ie. younger ladies) and a group of “cougars” (women of a more mature vintage) and select one lucky lady from amongst the pack to be his new paramour. More » 
8:14AM Seth | As we all know by now, Harold and Kumar 2 features Neil Patrick Harris on a unicorn, a decision equivalent to the producers reaching into our wallet personally and removing the 11 dollars from its musty confines. Revealing some details of the not-particularly-closely-guarded plot to nymag.com, Harris says: “It’s the very next day, so I’m still the same Neil Patrick Harris you saw before. I have not attempted rehab. I might have gone on another bender since you’ve seen me. Maybe not on the same drug. Maybe a new drug.” Asked about the unicorn, he added, “It was a little hard…. I had to ride it without a saddle, and it was in a green-screen room, and I had to ride it up a ramp and turn around. And this unicorn is very unfamiliar with a crew and green screen, and you don’t have a saddle to hold on to. So there was lots of calming, nurturing touches…. It was very Horse Whisperer-y.” Towleroad already burned the barebacking joke, so we’ll just leave you with a wish of being greeted tonight by NPH-on-a-unicorn dreams. [nymag.com] More »
