This morning we heard Wayne Carey was dead.

From the Bigfooty forum...

Just got some news from some inside sources that the bloke had just committed suicide.

Now those who know me on here know that i never troll esp something to do with this big. I seriously hope that im wrong as its a really sad situation but people (esp those who you trust) don't pull the piss about these things.

Massive shock none the least.

Then we heard he wasn't.

We will keep you up to date on this non-story with our usual highbrow journalistic style.

PS: We will be doing a behind-the-scenes look at one of Australia's most popular quiz shows this week, if that helps raise us ever so slightly in your estimation.

We got a bit of a laugh out of this site today (which we learned about thanks to the wonderful b3ta newsletter) - it's a collection of "the funniest fundamentalist quotes from around the internet".

So far, this nugget is our favourite -

If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol

Gods soldier

Naturally, we love it because of the completely daft and inappropriate 'lol' at the end.

(Via b3ta)

Today's clip was sent in by reader Craig, who described it rather nicely with "when memes collide"

Enjoy!

Thanks Craig!

REMEMBER - IF YOU SPY SOMETHING WORTHY OF BEING A YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE DAY FEATURE HERE ON DEFAMER AUSTRALIA, SHOOT US AN EMAIL AND GIVE US A HEADS UP!

Since we're still in the midst of SYTYCDAus audition phase, which is really just filler and a chance to make a cuppa before the good stuff starts, we'll hold off on our new weekly round-up series for a little longer. (We will say at this stage that we are happy that the show looks as slick as its US parent and that we were oddly not yet overcome with the desire to have Natalie Bassingthwaighte tarred and feathered - everybody wins!)

HOWEVER, to get you in the mood, we can tell you that Defamer Australia's Melbourne connections have (stage) whispered to us that one of the members of the Top 20 is a very brilliant young Melbourne man who is, quite simply, one of the most scintillating dancers we've ever had the pleasure to clap eyes on. To whet your whistle, here is some shonky footage of one Miss Regime Dettol (in the green two-piece), who - shall we say - is a very close friend of our young dancer, in much the same way Dame Edna likes to hang out with Barry Humphries and Vanessa Wagner enjoys a tea with Tobin Saunders, i.e. rarely within the same room as one another.

SO it is quite possible that the Australian franchise of our favourite show ever will, in fact, not suck massive horse cock and instead looks set to be quite marvellous!

Fancy yourself with a brand spanking new Hiptop Slide? Defamer Australia has TWO to give away! To score yourself one of the hottest new toys around, simply post a comment here.

Defamer Hiptop Competition

We are utterly shocked at revelations in the British tabloids over the weekend that Peter Andre and Jordan may not be the most responsible parents in the world. But that's exactly the picture deftly painted by former nanny Becky Gauld in her tell-all with News Of The World. It's a fascinating and lengthy read, so we'll just let NOTW deliver their punchy summary and you can toddle off to read the whole thing on your own.

She tells how Jordan:

ALLOWED overweight thyroid disorder sufferer Harvey to eat TWENTY chicken nuggets at once— even though she'd been told by doctors he could DIE if he didn't diet.

WAS QUIZZED by SOCIAL SERVICES after the blind autistic youngster scalded himself in a bath of hot water.

ASTONISHINGLY sent Becky a TEXT from her bed summoning her nanny from her cottage in the grounds of the £2.5 million mansion at 4AM... because the star couldn't be bothered to get up and cope with Junior crying in a nearby room.

TAUGHT Harvey to say "f*** off just so she and Andre could raise a laugh from their friends at a barbecue.

That last point being the perfect excuse for us to revisit one of our favourite YouTube videos of all time - Harvey's response to Peter's ridiculous claim of being "patronised".

Kids say the darndest things, eh?

Let's just say you were a bit of a 'head in the clouds' type, right? And you like riding your motorcycle, okay?

Only here's the thing: you'd picked up a BBQ from hard rubbish and, being a bit of a thrifty sort, thought you might take it home and give it a second lease on life - following? And then, like, you think, "I know, I'll carry the barbie home - by putting it over my body like something out of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome and riding the motorcycle down the freeway, yeah?

Right, so you get it home only to discover that a) your flatmates are laughing at you and/because b) someone had taken a photo of you carrying the BBQ and the Hun had published it, leading to a.i) even more people laughing at you, your housemates laughing at you even more, and even your own mother suggesting you change your name via deed poll to 'Dickhead McIdiotness'.

How do you think the paper's online subediting team would react to all this?

If the image above was roughly what popped into your head, then, waiter! Another serve of Walkley Awards for the party at table six!

Australians would know ex Atomic Kitten singer member Kerry Katona best as the mother of Delta Goodrem's future step-children (Katona being Brian/Bryan McFadden's ex wife). Over in the UK, she regularly appears in the tabloids due to her, erm, slightly 'colourful' life - her Wikipedia page ought to get you up to date.

Anyway, Kerry recently had her youngest child Heidi christened, and when her regular employer OK! Magazine passed up the chance to attend the event, the trusty folk from News Of The World went along instead. Prepare yourself for the most sarcastic and delightfully pisstaking report we've read in a while.

Read More »

Suffice to say that laughs have been a bit thin on the ground this past few weeks, so we were mightily pleased when the following item popped up in our Facebook News Feed, and had us laughing into next year:

In case you missed the punchline, please let our art department's technical wizardry explain the joke to you in a little more detail:

Feel like organising a maxi-taxi to Narre for the night? Here are the deets!

However, we assume "Da Partaaayy God" will be doing the right thing - a la "We're having a 21st tonight and just wanted to let you know" - and calling the police in advance this time.